As a wife, would I annoy you?

[CanIBeACurlyGirl]

DH and I work FT. He is a senior manager and I work in demtia care. He works Mon - Fri and I'm shift working.

I'm working all weekend, I love my Friday night TV and I like to engage with the tv. Probably a running commentary in his eyes. His days are filed with zoom calls etc mine aren't so I really enjoy my soaps and talk through them/with them.

He has one eye on the tv and another on his iPad watching sport. I've been told off for engaging and talking.

AIBU?

@MolyHolyGuacamole

I don't do it by myself but I like talking through things about what's going on In the show with other people. Why does he have to sit in there anyway if he isn't even watching, can't he watch in the bedroom?

It’s his house too, why shouldn’t he sit in the living room? Why does the person watching TV have priority? I don’t really watch TV at all whereas DH does so I’d be a bit pissed off to have to always sit in another room.

My husband tries to do this to me. I say, “I’m not watching it, stop talking to me about it.” Easy.

It can be annoying, I'm sure, but I do it, too! I think how annoying it is depends on how much you speak and how loud you are. I'd suggest that you watch alone for an hour or so, to unwind, then watch something together that you'd feel less compelled to talk through. (Or if you're always wanting to talk to the TV, practice holding your tongue for an hour, out of consideration for him.)

I think it's unfair of him to scold you for talking while you watch TV. You're not a child, and this is how you enjoy TV, you should be allowed to do it at least part of the time.

You sound great to me. One persons annoying is another persons fun.

Yes, you'd annoy me immensely.

Having someone in the room, ostensibly talking to themselves but every now and then expecting a response from me, or saying something in such a way that implies they are expecting me to be listening, is about the most annoying thing ever. It's an immensely arrogant behaviour that presumes I exist merely as a foil for their wit, a passive listening post to their active (and oh so interesting, not, commentary). As if I have no thinking or anything else of my own to be getting on with.

Were I him, I'd be in a different room.

@chickenyhead

I think it is your right. It might annoy you that he is on his ipad.

Assuming that you have other rooms in the house, he can go to one of those if it is sooooo annoying.

Of course it's not "[her] right". In a civilised sociey we care about other people's comfort. OP I would find this very annoying - just as I find DH coming in half way through a programme and commenting over the dialogue whilst missing the plot/point of the programme. So we negotiate a compromise, we don't stand on "our rights" to piss each other off.

Sorry, do you mean you talk to / engage with the characters as if you're in the show - or commentate on what they're doing or saying?

yeah, not just annoying but weird

I mean, how can I be focusing on talking rubbish on MN and listening selectively to whatever programme I'm interested in, at the same time as listening and responding to another person? I cannot, so STFU!

I love shouting at the TV when it's things like love island 😄 such as standing up for people when others are having a go, or shouting like 'eeee no way' when they do scandalous things etc. Thankfully my husband just lets me be and I hope finds it quite endearing. I do like complete silence for things like line of duty though.
It sounds like plenty of people find the commentary annoying but probably not your husband else he wouldn't have married you, he no doubt likes your quirks! I would love someone to scream at the TV with me personally

@lottiegarbanzo

Yes, you'd annoy me immensely.

Having someone in the room, ostensibly talking to themselves but every now and then expecting a response from me, or saying something in such a way that implies they are expecting me to be listening, is about the most annoying thing ever. It's an immensely arrogant behaviour that presumes I exist merely as a foil for their wit, a passive listening post to their active (and oh so interesting, not, commentary). As if I have no thinking or anything else of my own to be getting on with.

Were I him, I'd be in a different room.

Agreed. Like they’re allowed to judge what I’m doing to be less important than what they’re doing, just because the screen they’re doing it on is bigger and louder. Pain in the arse.

What do you do when he’s not around? Do you still engage with the tv out loud? I’m finding it quite interesting how there’s different ways of watching tv.

My 10yo does this and it drives me insane. If it happens past 8:30 they get sent to bed for it 😂 privileges of staying up at ‘adult time’ mean no inane chatter at the telly

My husband can’t be in the room with me watching Gogglebox. It’s me commening on people commenting on tv shows. I think I’m hilarious

You sound great to me. One persons annoying is another persons fun.
Yup, me too, I think you sound like a laugh! I'd chat back op and with WeRTheOnesWeHaveBeenWaitingFor too (and yes, maybe gogglebox beckons!)

I could cope with that it would drive me mad. Sorry!

@CanIBeACurlyGirl

Ha ha

Oh well...

I guess I'm more annoying than I thought. Poor DH, I like me though!

As long as you like you thats all that matters

The person who does this to me is dd and I do understand that, for her, the idea that I might actually have my own thoughts and a focus that is not her, even or especially while in the room with her, might seem quite strange. She is little though and we're working on it.

I do this too! all the bloody time. Genuinely can’t seem to help it.

Bless you OP I'd find that so fucking annoying 🤣🤣

You would drive me insane.

As a matter of interest, do you do this if you go out to the cinema or a theatre?

God this wouldn't bother me at all. If he is watching his iPad or whatever, not also trying to watch the show. Big difference. But other than that, no. Personally I prefer to read a book than listen to an audio book because I want to be able to drift off whenever I fancy. Sounds like you're doing similar but with the TV. I don't see a problem with that. Like I said, as long as he's not also trying to watch the program.

Incredibly annoying, yes.
I wouldn't sit in the same room as you (I guess this does depend on how many rooms you have in your house)

I mean, all TV doesn't need to be in silence - I'm all for chatting to ds when we watch the football together for example, or trying to answer the questions on a Quiz show, but I don't get the "talking to the TV" when you are watching a drama or a soap