To consider Cry It Out?

[Schrutesbeets]

DS is 9 months, has been BF and bed shared since birth, till arohnd 6 weeks ago. he sleeps in his cot for naps but won't at night. Have tried gentle methods, nothing is working and he wakes constantly through the night and wakes DD(3)too.
I was always very opposed to CIO, but I'm going back to work soon and cannot function on as little sleep as I'm having. I am run down, irritable and getting regular headaches as a result. We cannot afford a sleep consultant and now I feel CIO may be the only solution!
Any advice / experience of CIO much appreciated.

Put aside the judgement people make about parents who decide to try this and forget about the contraversy. For the majority of parents I know who tried this CIO method it didn't work for them and yes they did do it properly. The one I know who it did work for had really easy babies anyway and I question whether these babies would have slept well anyway and that they didn't truly have to use this method. You have to face the fact that this probably wont work for your baby no matter how hard you try and at the end of it you will carry around the guilt (although I don't believe you should). I think having babies/kids just unfortunately involves sleep deprivation and unusual sleeping arrangements for all unless you happen to have other family living with you helping out.

We tried a sort of controlled, separation crying with our son & I'm not gonna lie... it was the hardest thing I've ever done! But it did work & he's now a strapping 14yr old who sleeps through anything!

We went all in with music/white noise/a cuddle cloth smelling of me etc & started off by first soothing him, lying him back down & then sleeping (attempting to!) on a mattress (which we bought especially - tried an airbed but it crippled me!) on the floor next to his cot. Then we moved to sitting next to the cot, with a hand through the bars if necessary, with the aim of leaving once he'd fallen back to sleep. Then moved on to sitting increasingly further away & no touching. Eventually, a quick soothe & leaving the room altogether. Re-entering after an increasing number of minutes to repeat over & over.

It took a few weeks to move through the stages & almost broke me at times, as he was (& still is!) a very stubborn, persistent little bugger, but it did work eventually & he certainly couldn't remember the whole experience & it definitely didn't 'scar' him in any way.

To be honest, you need to try various different things & do whatever works best for you & your family - regardless of what people say/think. SO many people told us we should/shouldn't be doing this & that, but at 3am when you're beyond exhausted & sobbing yourself, they can all eff off!! You do what you need to, to get through it!!

Good luck. You will crack it & come out the other side. I promise.

I haven't had time to read all the comments but I just wanted to drop two recommendations in car they haven't been mentioned.

The Baby Sleep Expert - so much free advice online www.instagram.com/babysleepdr/?hl=en

And Charmian Mead's book The Sleeping Baby Routine.

It's probably going to take more of a lifestyle change than a quick fix but I'm sure you know that already!

Controlled crying does work but requires perseverance. Your little one doesn’t know how to self soothe because they have been in bed with you since birth. Break this dependency and stick with controlled crying.

We did cry it out with twins at 9 months. We were desperate. It worked, took two nights and they have been great sleepers ever since. I know people think it's cruel but we couldn't parent on no sleep. They are currently 12 and do not seem to have any lasting effects.