Goes off for drives for hours-does your dp:Dh?

[Shesalwaysshouting]

Would it piss you off?

Dp and I take it turns to do toddler dds bedtime, she often takes ages to fall asleep, so we often end up falling asleep upstairs with her.
On my nights doing her bedtime, Dp often goes out in the car for 2-3 hours at a time, he’s always got some reason-went for a drive, went to the beach, to get cigarettes, yo a friends. He does it all the time, rarely stays in. He doesn’t say, just goes, when I text there’s some reason or other.
Aibu to be pissed off about it? Would it bother you?
It’s just not something I’d do and I’m not sure he’d love it, he says it wouldn’t bother him but it would.

Sorry to be blunt but you sure he’s not having an affair? Becayse that’s really weird.

And yes it would bother me, becayse I’d assume he was having an affair.

That’s so odd. And yes it would concern me. 3 or 4 days a week he’s out for 2-3 hours at a time and you think he’s sometimes gone that long to buy smokes?!

He sneaks out when you're not looking.

Not normal.

I love just going out for a drive, really enjoy it, stereo blasting having a good old sing song and a bit if time on my own. But I'd never just sneak out, I'd tell my DH where I was off road a rough idea of how long

Would definitely bother me.

@Bluntness100

And yes it would bother me, becayse I’d assume he was having an affair.

I would too, but it would also bother me even if he wasn't. He isn't part of the relationship.

Wouldn’t worry me so much because I do it. I do say that I’m leaving the house though so no one thinks I’ve just gone missing. Sometimes I just like the peace of being by myself.

Does he have a sports/specialist/vintage car? I love driving and so would have done this a few years ago as would have DH - but that was pre children.

Suspicious as fuck

He's up to something, OP. There's no way he's just driving around on his own every evening.

Wait he just leaves? That’s the weirdest behaviour I’ve heard of!

Wow, I wish I could have had the privilege of disappearing from the house few nights a week for three hours while a parent to small child.

He is either not moving well into parenthood at all or is having an affair.

Ermm I don't think he's going for a drive op

Wow 😢

3 hours is probably an exaggeration tbf, maybe 1-2. He does love to drive and we have a new car, so I can sort of see that being part of it. We live abroad and the sunsets are amazing etc and it is nicer driving or going down to the beach I suppose,
He doesn’t sneak out as such but I’m upstairs trying to get Dd to sleep, so doesn’t come up to say he’s going to get cigarettes or whatever.
Also, the petrol does go down a lot 🤷🏻‍♀️
I just don’t know. I wouldn’t say affair tbf, but just, stay in!

My senses would be tingling and I'd note the mileage before he 'went out for a drive' then see the difference when he returned. But that's just me!

It’s not every evening, couple of times a week during the week mainly, generally when he’s not on bed duty.
Pre Dd we’d always be out in summer here, it’s weird not to be, but I’m too knackered myself by the time evening rolls around.

@ADragonCalledKeith Petrol is right down normally and it is lots more since we got the new car a few weeks ago. Is never in winter

@GrandmasCat We take it in turns each night, so when it’s my night, I’m with Dd and he’s free and vice versa

I bet he is a secret Pokémon go player 😅

I go out for aimless drives and I’m definitely not having an affair. I let my partner know I’m off out though. I like to listen to music or podcasts.

See, it pisses me off and when I’ve just texted to him (I’m upstairs with Dd, he’s downstairs) he’s said I’m being ridiculous and what do I think he’s doing and thanks for trusting him etc. He doesn’t get dressed up or even wash or change from his work clothes (manual labour) so I don’t think is an affair? Also no money is being spent really

Yes, but what is he doing in all that time? I understand (barely) if you said he had become a MAMIL, but what is he doing out all that time and how much of the household budget that constant going out is taking from?

Crossposted, sorry. Still doesn’t make sense.

FIL started doing this - it was an affair, MIL followed him one night.

Sorry to say this but my ex husband did this as well as going out to get bread and milk and fine for literally 4 or 5 hours.
He was having an affair.
It is not normal no