To hate poems in wedding invites, asking for money?

[payformymarriage]

Just having this discussion with SIL.

You know the type ...
‘All we want at our wedding is your company..BUT.....’
Usually made into a cheesy poem so it doesn’t sound as CF-ish.
I think it’s so tacky. See also John Lewis wish lists etc

AIBU?

@Temp023

For a wedding this flash, We’re gonna need cash The brides dress it cost least a ton. And now you’ve made merry, With our canapés and Sherry You can show us themgreenbacks my son!

This is exactly how I read them!

We would love to have your company
On our boring wedding day
But give us loadsamoney
So we can afford to get away.

We are holding a wedding
Even though our relationship is falling apart
But if you give us money
We will thank you from the heart

Drink until you’re giddy
We would love for you to stay
But don’t think that you’re welcome
Unless you pay your way

AIBU to ditch my job to work for Hallmark?

[quote payformymarriage]**@Youdoyoutoday* @SchrodingersImmigrant* which poems did you go for?? [/quote]
😂 none, we just said it out right.😂

No boxed gifts should do the job.

@EmeraldShamrock

No boxed gifts should do the job.

So put your gift in a gift bag. That should do the job.

@payformymarriage

It being an American tradition also explains why I hate it so much

Of course, everything 'American' is to be hated . It's not an American tradition, either, gift lists are.

Oh the wedding gift weekly thread. Consisting of the following answers
Oh no don't ask for cash
Oh no don't ask for gifts
Oh no don't go empty handed
I'll buy them tat anyway cos they had a list
I'm not giving them money cos they asked for it

Rinse and repeat

Lol!! I guess OP has a point

But I don't mind giving money if that's what wedding couple would prefer. Especially if I don't have to buy individual swanky (lol that autocorrected multiple times without the first s - eek! ) plates at £18 each and can only afford one!

I don't even mind a poem as long as it's short and doesn't talk about how Nan is watching over us all ....

Wedding lists with a department store are so my old generation and it's no longer cool and most ppl live together first now and have bought the stuff they want/ need

My favourite wedding present was something I never would have thought of - from my bridesmaid/ close friend. A large slow cooker, 28 years later I still use it as it lasted longer than my marriage

@HTH1

I see a great career at Hallmark, or editing Tatler wedding announcement pages

I also don't mind being asked "for money towards something (rug, new sofa, dinner set, a nice coffee machine, yada yada) we are saving up for " as long as it is a "we don't mind would love to see you, if you want to get us a gift, please don't feel you have to , but we would genuinely appreciate any donations toward this item that we are saving up for"

It would piss me off even more to get an invite asking for money knowing lots of the guests have been furloughed or lost their jobs
Even so you wouldn't turn up empty handed so what's the difference.

I think a request for anything other than your company is bad manners
But its rude to turn up empty handed. Should people be faux surprised that someone bought them another bale of towels ( that they probably didn't need)

No boxed gifts should do the job
Dont start, that was last weeks thread, and you know it!🤣

@MsAdoraBelleDearheartVonLipwig

How is it grabby to have a gift list? It’s traditional. From when couples were setting up home together. It might not be needed now but neither is most of the old fashioned wedding ceremony.

We didn’t need anything but we said if people really wanted to give something they could do vouchers for our favourite shop or make donations in our name to cancer research. We raised quite a lot of money.

From memory (from the last one of these), the correct thing to do is say no gifts, and then people ought to know to approach the bride’s parents for a copy of the secret gift list. If they don’t know that, and take you at your word that you don’t want gifts, they are non-U and you erred in inviting them in the first place.

Why that is better than just putting a link to the gift list on the website, along with the travel info and menu, is beyond me. But apparently the bride and groom themselves should never admit there is a list in existence. If your work colleagues don’t know the bride’s parents, then they should buy you steak knives.

Hello, dear friends we request
Your presence as our honoured guest!
To observe our heart vows,
As celebratory crowds
And eat and be merry with zest!
But oh! Do firstly peruse
The list that we've drawn up for you
Be generous now, don't our hopes disavow
It's John Lewis it's simple to do!
But if you find gifts such a faff
Anoint us instead with your cash
A moon full of honey is far too much money
For us to spend in a flash!
Yes please come dear friends we behest
Lest friendship fall foul of the test
Now don't call us grabby
Just bring your hubby
And cheques are readily blessed!

But its rude to turn up empty handed. Should people be faux surprised that someone bought them another bale of towels ( that they probably didn't need)

It is not rude if the couple has said 'No gifts'.

@payformymarriage

It being an American tradition also explains why I hate it so much

Which is fine, as long as you’re aware that saying things like this really does invalidate any position of yours on what is or isn’t good manners.

God some of you are misers, I'm surprised anyone wants you at their weddings

I was referring to gift lists being American, and my comment re that is my dislike of adopting American traditions (see also baby showers, proms...). I know, I’m a hoot! But they are generally quite money/attention focused which I don’t personally find important.

Also apologies for repeating a thread as I haven’t seen the previous ones! Good to know I’m not alone in my thinking though

YABU because we had this thread last week 🤣

@DysonSphere

Hello, dear friends we request Your presence as our honoured guest! To observe our heart vows, As celebratory crowds And eat and be merry with zest! But oh! Do firstly peruse The list that we've drawn up for you Be generous now, don't our hopes disavow It's John Lewis it's simple to do! But if you find gifts such a faff Anoint us instead with your cash A moon full of honey is far too much money For us to spend in a flash! Yes please come dear friends we behest Lest friendship fall foul of the test Now don't call us grabby Just bring your hubby And cheques are readily blessed!

Love this

Would love an invite that said:

We’ve had a shit 18 months
And rearranged this day once
And we know you’re all strapped
And sick of this crap...
So we don’t want your gifts
It’s hugs that we’ve missed

@SallyCinnabon

YABU because we had this thread last week 🤣

Was going to I say ‘at least I haven’t mentioned the C word’ but I have

I agree. Absolutely dreadful. Along with no boxed gifts. They can do one.

I’ve never seen the ‘no boxed gifts’ one! It gets worse

Tacky, grabby and lacks class.

I’ve never seen the ‘no boxed gifts’ one! It gets worse.
It has been said on these threads repeatedly it is normal in many cultures to give the happy couple cash - I haven't seen a gift list since the 90's once couples live together it doesn't need mentioned on the invite.
Asian weddings, eastern European weddings, Irish weddings.
The amount varies depending on the cost of the meal.

Dont start, that was last weeks thread, and you know it!
I couldn't resist.