Dp night out, I don't want him to go

[Summerdaysx]

NC for this as I am a regular poster.

Dp has a night out planned for Saturday.

A few things are bugging me,

We have so much extra to pay for this month and just simply cannot afford it.

His friends are all talking about "getting the pussy" "going to lap dancing clubs".

He will be out until god knows what time and expect me to pick him up, I have a child.

Now I am in no way going to tell him "he's not going"

But what can I do? He will still go anyway no matter what I say!

I wish he would have to isolate for 10 days .

I simply cannot be bothered with all the arguing about it.

He will just say we will get by with money "we always do". He honestly has an answer for everything.

What's happened, OP?

Are you ok?

These men sound disgusting. You are short on cash and he’s going to a stripping club? Priorities! He needs to get some. I wouldn’t put up with this.

Having a family is a lifestyle choice. If he wanted to “get the pussy” he should have done that before having a family. If he wanted to go to such places he should have done so before a family.

People really have to think about that when they have a family. It’s nothing wrong with going out for dinner or drinks with friends
On a night out, but this sort of attitude and going to stripping bars are not what you should be doing when you have a family. Again..Single life vs family life. Make a choice. I find this disgusting and I would be against my husband keeping company with such men and going to such a place.

So what happened to the idea that the company you keep is a reflection of you? Does no one think about this anymore? I just don’t think going to stripping bars is compatible with family life.

Fuck-what a man child. The best thing you can do if he is leaving is to let him. Get some RL support. Look after yourself 💐

I would actively encourage him to go and then make moves to get him out permanently.

Change the locks change the locks change them !

Hell be back on Sunday, no doubt hoping you'll be begging for him.

OP, there is no way he sits there quietly with his lairy mates. He fits in and is just like them. No loss to you.

@AnyFucker

In your situation I would not discourage him from going

But he wouldn’t be coming back

This.

You deserve better, op.

You will always be skint and bottom of the list with someone like this.

Your child deserves better.

You dont tell him not to go. You tell him to go and not come back.

Misogynistic man child 🤮

Soz @AnyFucker massive cross post!

You are better off without him, painful as it will be.

Good luck trying to get into a pub on Saturday evening, whilst England v Ukraine is on. He may find himself having to be out on the street.

OP,

You may be devastated but the real question is, IS this the life you want?

A guy whonis hysterical about a night out and spents money YOU don't have?

Wake up OP.

You have a child to rear, this has to be your priority.

Not some waster who wants to spend money you don't have, have borrowed and behaves like a spoilt brat.

Your child needs an adult in your life.

You need to think of the big picture.

Why has he suddenly decided to leave?

He'll probably have to isolate for 10 days after the Inbetweeners' night out...

leaving!??

He sounds like an extra child to take care of anyhow frankly. Let him go, his priority are not his partner and child clearly if you owe your mother money and hes still going on the piss.

Are you okay @Summerdaysx?

If he's billy big bollocks enough to take the piss by going out with friends after lapdancing and sex, when you're skint, he can at least find his own way home.

I am so sorry op, I didn't see your update.
I hope you are OK

I would tell him that your mum would be very upset and hurt that he's going on a night out when he owes her money.....

You sound like an absolute drama queen " give me the strength to get through this" ...
Unless this is a pattern of behaviour where he goes out every weekend and you have 0 downtime your self why would you begrudge your partner having that time ?

You've already said you're not going to collect him - that's one issue sorted .

Lap dance clubs aren't open - another sorted

Frankly you listening in to his conversations is an invasion of privacy and is mentioned on similar threads all the time. Despite that you heard it and he didn't make the same comments as his mates (who he's friends with is none of your business and how they conduct their lives is up to them)

The only issue here is money. If that's the case he can work more hours / sell something (that's always thrown around on mn) or if you're struggling every month sounds like someone needs to retrain /second job/ more qualifications.

What has caused him to leave OP? Did you mention the night out?

Reading back through your posts it isn't actually clear whether we went for a separate night out - you confronted him and it went wrong- he decided to just leave?

If so sounds like there's a massive back story here that hasn't been mentioned.

In any case disregard the previous comment as it now doesn't sound like it applies to the situation. If he's fully left then I guess that's his choice made and that's the confirmation you needed (albeit didn't want) that he cares more about his pals and going out drinking than his family responsibilities

He has left to go and stay at a family members. Night out is planned for Saturday.

For those of you saying I am over reacting - that's fine but I would rather keep a roof over my head and have food on the table than have him spending borrowed money on a night out!!

He can have his night out next month when we don't owe money and after paying this will leave us with no extras for luxuries.

But he decided to up sticks and leave. Hope his night out is worth it.