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Original poster

Dp night out, I don't want him to go

376 replies

Summerdaysx · 29/06/2021 21:33

NC for this as I am a regular poster.

Dp has a night out planned for Saturday.

A few things are bugging me,

We have so much extra to pay for this month and just simply cannot afford it.

His friends are all talking about "getting the pussy" "going to lap dancing clubs".

He will be out until god knows what time and expect me to pick him up, I have a child.

Now I am in no way going to tell him "he's not going"

But what can I do? He will still go anyway no matter what I say!

I wish he would have to isolate for 10 days .

I simply cannot be bothered with all the arguing about it.

He will just say we will get by with money "we always do". He honestly has an answer for everything.

OP posts:
guest2013 · 30/06/2021 17:56

This is quite an extreme reaction to a night out?!

guest2013 · 30/06/2021 17:57

Well not even night if he's going to be home by 8pm.

FlorenceWintle · 30/06/2021 17:58

Leaving? Leaving the relationship, you mean?

BumBurnerBum · 30/06/2021 18:07

So what's occurred?

Datsandcogs · 30/06/2021 18:09

Let him go. Don’t fight it but don’t facilitate it either, most definitely don’t pick him up.

Tal45 · 30/06/2021 18:16

It seems strange to me that you have a child with him but don't seem to know his friends? Does he keep you separate? That would ring alarm bells for me x

HugeAckmansWife · 30/06/2021 18:18

right so he's had a massive tantrum and said he's leaving cos going out with his mates is more important than his family. So you're losing an irresponsible, selfish child. Sounds like a win to me.
Seriously, I've been there - had my marriage pulled out from under me in a flash. Its like being punched. We can say til we're blue in the face that it is no loss but right now you won't feel like that. Take one hour a time, breathe, get some real life support ASAP and don't say or promise anything in anger or desperation. If ultimately, you want to get past this and have him back, the best way to play this is to be calm and not begging and crying. Say if he wants to leave that's fine and you'll be in touch re contact (50/50 obviously - he'll freak!!) and maintenance. Good luck - and keep posting if you like. Lots of us have been through this and can help and hand hold x

InFiveMins · 30/06/2021 18:18

What do you mean by leaving, OP? Leaving the relationship or leaving to go on the night out?

SmackMyAssnCallMeJudy · 30/06/2021 18:21

Let him go, OP.

He is either pathetic enough that not being able to go to strip clubs while his wife and baby are at home is a deal-breaker.

Or he’s a manipulative little shit who’s attempting to get you into line by threatening to leave.

I really hope you have the strength to let him leave, because doing whatever it takes to get him back is a sure-fire way to lose his respect entirely, and ensure much, much more of the same treatment from him.

You are so much better off without him. Flowers

CandyLeBonBon · 30/06/2021 18:31

Well that took an unexpected turn!

Yaykyay · 30/06/2021 18:31

I couldn't possibly be with a man who's friends talked like that.

Even if he doesn't, why does he want to hang out wit people like that. Gross.

miltonj · 30/06/2021 18:33

I would never begrudge my husband a night out, but if he went to a strip club (wether he got a private dance or not) he'd be out on his arse and he knows this. Set your boundaries to him and make them crystal clear.

amatsip · 30/06/2021 18:34

Op I hope you are alright, hopefully he will calm down and you can both work this out.

Yaykyay · 30/06/2021 18:34

Sorry op I missed that last update when commenting. Do you mean he's left as in left the home or relationship?

Hope you're OK.

IsThePopeCatholic · 30/06/2021 18:38

Is he Donald Trump?

ChorltonWheelie · 30/06/2021 18:40

Hugs OP

CoralSparkles · 30/06/2021 18:41

Does he go on nights out often? I wouldn’t begrudge my OH a night out, but his friends sound gross. How old are you and your OH? Both of your reactions sound really childish.

vinicunca · 30/06/2021 18:44

OP, what do you mean, “he is leaving today?”

This sounds like a very volatile relationship and he sounds like a liability.

How old are these “friends?” I have to say I’ve never come across men who talk like this - how does he know this lot? Talk about scraping the bottom of the barrel.

If by “leaving” you mean he’s gone permanently, it sounds like he’s done you a favour.

squiglet111 · 30/06/2021 18:46

He's probably forced a break up so he can go out and do what he wants tonight. Tomorrow he will probably be back home like nothings happened.

Sunshinedaisymeadowsxx · 30/06/2021 18:47

Sounds like you are better off without him OP, clearly there was something a miss in the relationship already given the Circe of your initial post. You sound better off without

Snoken · 30/06/2021 18:47

I could never live with a person who referred to women by their genetalia. This laddy type of behaviour is honestly repulsive. If that’s something he thinks is OK, you need to leave. You don’t want your child to live with someone like that.

EKGEMS · 30/06/2021 18:49

@IsThePopeCatholic You're the type that makes jokes no one laughs at.

WiddlinDiddlin · 30/06/2021 18:55

Well I started reading this thread with 'ew ew ew' in my head..

I now think you are absolutely better off without him if thats what his friends are like and if he thinks its in any way appropriate to be out on expensive nights out when there's no money left for such things, when he has a child to support ....

Think of it this way - you have just saved all the costs he would normally incur. Less person to feed, clothe, waste fuel on...

Wish him well (or not!) and wave bye-bye, you can do SO much better!

Pinot4evs · 30/06/2021 18:56

Bit of an extreme reaction to a boys night out!

If you don’t want him going out because you don’t trust him now would be the perfect time to allow a night out as groups aren’t allowed to mingle 😂

Bumblenums1234 · 30/06/2021 19:01

@Summerdaysx

He is leaving today. I am absolutley devastated and don't know how I am going to continue. At least I know now we are not a priority.

Please give me strength to get through this.

Is he leaving for his night out today or you have kicked him out because he didn't want to miss it?