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Original poster

Dp night out, I don't want him to go

376 replies

Summerdaysx · 29/06/2021 21:33

NC for this as I am a regular poster.

Dp has a night out planned for Saturday.

A few things are bugging me,

We have so much extra to pay for this month and just simply cannot afford it.

His friends are all talking about "getting the pussy" "going to lap dancing clubs".

He will be out until god knows what time and expect me to pick him up, I have a child.

Now I am in no way going to tell him "he's not going"

But what can I do? He will still go anyway no matter what I say!

I wish he would have to isolate for 10 days .

I simply cannot be bothered with all the arguing about it.

He will just say we will get by with money "we always do". He honestly has an answer for everything.

OP posts:
Seesawmummadaw · 29/06/2021 22:05

Eww ‘pussy’.
He get himself back, he’s a grown man child

Seesawmummadaw · 29/06/2021 22:05

@StressyWoman

Is he friends with Jay from Inbetweeners?
I read it in Jay’s voice Grin
Macncheeseballs · 29/06/2021 22:06

There is no wau I'd pick him up and 'getting the pussy', words fail me

Cherrysoup · 29/06/2021 22:09

He expects you to pick him up? That’s insane when you have a child. He can make his own way home and not disturb you coming in.

lastqueenofscotland · 29/06/2021 22:12

I wouldn’t begrudge a night out unless we were on the bones of our arse (lap dancing club aside… that’s grim)
But no way in hell would I pick him up

BaronessOfTheNorth · 29/06/2021 22:13

If I heard "getting the pussy" from my husbands vicinity, my vagina would seal itself up.

I encourage my DH to go out whenever he can around his job, but I wonder why he is saying these things to you...have I missed something and you're reading his messages?

TheDinosaurMum · 29/06/2021 22:14

Me too 😂😂

BackforGood · 29/06/2021 22:15

@Whatabouttery

I wouldn't begrudge a night out unless it meant going without essentials.

But if I heard 'getting the pussy' and he was going to lap dancing clubs I'd change the locks on his way out.

This ^

I mean, also, you obviously you shouldn't go and pick him up in the early hours if you have a child who should be in bed (let alone your own sleep) - that wouldn't even be considered by me, and I am generally happy to give lifts when I can.

Famousinlove · 29/06/2021 22:15

@StressyWoman

Is he friends with Jay from Inbetweeners?
I was thinking the same!

I would not be in a relationship with someone that frequents lap dancing clubs

TheDinosaurMum · 29/06/2021 22:15

Sorry I quoted the in Jay's voice and it hasn't turned up.

I'm not laughing at the Me too campaign for equality, which it now looks like 🤦🏻‍♀️ FML.

moonbedazzled · 29/06/2021 22:16

"Getting the pussy" is an expression? Ugh.

Womencanlift · 29/06/2021 22:19

The other things aside why would you want him to isolate for 10 days? Just because he has been socialising, is that not a bit extreme?

Mangofandangoo · 29/06/2021 22:21

Don't pick him up op that is ridiculous

romdowa · 29/06/2021 22:22

If we couldn't afford it , I'd be asking my dp where the money was coming from for the night out because hell would freeze over before bills go unpaid so he can go off on his jollies.

randomkey123 · 29/06/2021 22:22

Thing is, if you act like a doormat, people will use you as a doormat.

Hell would freeze over before I picked anyone up from a night out involving pussy and lapdancing, let alone DH!

Onlyfoolsandfathers · 29/06/2021 22:26

I wouldn't begrudge a night out unless it meant going without essentials.

So you'd have a child living on essentials only just so your partner can go out?

I would begrudge that.

Famousinlove · 29/06/2021 22:26

@Womencanlift

The other things aside why would you want him to isolate for 10 days? Just because he has been socialising, is that not a bit extreme?
I took the isolating comment to mean OP hopes he has to self isolate for 10 days from now so he can't go on the night out ..?
Original poster
Summerdaysx · 29/06/2021 22:29

Just to clarify a few things.

Yes it's his child.

I have heard phone calls from his friends, it's on a FaceTime so loud enough for me to hear.

"Getting the pussy" and lap dancing clubs came from his friends, not directly dp. But makes me wonder what kind of people these "men" are to be speaking like that!

Yes a few of them are single but as others have said, they aren't 19!

We are skint and our car has had to have a lot of work done due to mot at the weekend, so we now owe some money to my dm as she kindly lent us the money for the repairs.

I honestly do not grudge him having a night out, not at all. But it's the thought of going out with these "men", leaving us with no money & the talk of lap dancing etc.

I am in Scotland so don't actually think lap dancing clubs are open, it's just the chat of it that makes my skin crawl, if they intend to go to lap dancing clubs what else are they going to be doing?!

I will NOT be taking my dc out of the house to pick him up any later than 8! I just mean it's the assumption that I would do so.

OP posts:
PigeonOnTheChimney · 29/06/2021 22:30

Of course you can tell him not to go if he is your partner and he wants to remain your partner. At the very least you could have a discussion to agree boundaries in your partnership. If he has made a commitment to you, he is not a free and independent agent. Why would he want to put himself in the way of cheating or 'mistakes'? Why would he want to blow money he could use to treat you and yours? Partners can have separate interests but they're not single if partnered!

Original poster
Summerdaysx · 29/06/2021 22:31

@Famousinlove yes that's what I meant re isolating! As petty as that sounds I just can't deal with the backlash of all the arguing so would be so much easier if he simply couldn't go lol

OP posts:
DreamingofTimbuktu · 29/06/2021 22:32

He’s spending money you need for your child on lap dancing? This is only bugging you? No just no

Wegobshite · 29/06/2021 22:32

8pm pick up on a lads night out - that’s going to be a wild night out then

nanbread · 29/06/2021 22:33

How much is he likely to spend? He shouldn't be getting in debt for a night out. And definitely don't pick him up ffs!

MunsterThyme · 29/06/2021 22:34

@StressyWoman

Is he friends with Jay from Inbetweeners?
You beat me to it! Grin.

His friends sound awful. I wouldn’t begrudge this guy a night out because I wouldn’t be with someone who had this attitude towards women in the first place. Creepy, immature pricks.

Qwertywertyisme · 29/06/2021 22:37

@Womencanlift

I think she means she wants him to need to self isolate so that he can't go.

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