Abiu To put 1 year old to bed hungry?

[Pops042020]

Abiu to put my 1 year old to bed hungry if she doesn't eat the meal I make, this last week she has decided she doesn't want to eat anything I give her on a spoon she doesn't even look at it or smell it and definitely doesn't try it, it's just straight away shaking had and crying she's hungry because she takes her dummy out then cries. This last week Ive given in and made her toast before bed and I feel like shes just waiting for the toast.
Would I be unreasonable to just not offer her anything else but the meal I'm making tonight (cottage pie) and if she doesn't eat it then she goes to bed hungry with her bottle of milk?

Can't believe you needed to ask - she's ONE ffs

Just seen your update OP, glad she's eating now!

I'd also get rid of the baby crisps and biscotti. Doesn't sound nutritious. And switch off the TV. Offer a variety of healthy food and go with flow. She eats, she doesn't eat, no issue, offer milk and tomorrow will be another day.

I found that tea was a nightmare. She was too tired to focus on food. So we had main meal at lunch, which may be why the child minder has less issues. I would do main meal at lunch, picnic tea and offer toast or weetabix/porridge for supper. She's only 1 and has a tiny tummy.

Do you eat with her? I think small children eating at the table with parents really helps them eat more variety over time

It's normal to become cautious about food at that age. She'll need to be offered foods multiple times in a relaxed atmosphere before trying it. Don't make it a battle. Give her something with each meal you know she'll eat and keep offering other foods too.

Did you mean 10 year old ?

Maybe she is waiting for the toast. Maybe she likes the toast. It's crunchy and a run texture. I think you are expecting far too much for her to suddenly want to eat a variety of different foods. Maybe try one thing at a time? And if she just wants toast for now, so be it

YABU but again like others I think you know this.

Spoon refusal is often due to teething or other oral pain so you need to figure out if that's the case.

That aside if she will eat toast then will she eat other finger foods? Is it a case of she wants to feed herself? Veggie sticks, pieces of fruit, home made nuggets/fish finger type things or even shop bought OCCASIONALLY, veggie "chips" or "crisps" again home made better, meat or tofu cooked in cubes/strips and cooled and without a sauce on to minimise mess, cheese cut into sticks or cubes, large pasta shapes cooked and cooked... you get the idea

Many items other than toast can be eaten with fingers/hands and that is ok to allow at this age/stage. You can also top the toast with nutritious items other than just butter - marmite is packed with vitamins, peanut butter, cheese spread, bruschetta type spreads, not sure what the advice is on meat spreads/pate for this age now but veggie pates can have loads of vitamins in or puree veggies and spread them on the toast

Basically think outside the box to get around what is likely a temporary issue

Would any of this be useful/an idea?

I'm being told by various family members and friends

They're idiots! And have possibly forgotten what this age/stage is like from when they were parents

but when she's at her child minder a she eats everything they give her.

If you mean it's of an eve/weekend she's eating less well tiredness could be a factor

Plus what is childminder feeding her? If it's more finger foods that may be why

@maddiemookins16mum absolutely! Whatever works! Some of the stuff babies/toddlers like is bizarre but if it gets nutrition in that's all that matters

Cottage pie and chocolate ready brek - whatever floats her boat for now!

she's hungry just won't eat whats good for her

Did you know the only food without any nutritional content is hard boiled sweets and sherbet?

Chocolate - calcium and iron

Crisps - vit c and minerals

Butter - vit d and Calcium

There's no such thing as bad foods per se just bad diet overall so letting her have what you consider bad food on occasion won't harm her

she will still only be eating breakfast food at 18.

Nonsense - you get her over this hump and then gradually increase healthiER foods

You could also ask childminder for recipes, which foods dd likes best. She may be giving her something you hadn't thought of but which is healthy nonetheless.

I'm veggie, raised dd omni but I never bought certain meats as when she was little she wouldn't have been able to eat a full pack, but when she went through a fussy phase I spoke to nursery to find out what she was leaning towards and it turned out to be bacon! So I bought a pack, opened it and cut the rashers into wee bits as she'd only manage a little at a time plus salt content and froze in dd portion sizes and then added a little bacon to just about every meal for a while! She actually went right off it after about 6 months leaving me with bits of bacon I couldn't use

But it got us through that fussy phase

I do eat mostly with her but we don't have a dining table, it's just me and her and we've just moved house and can't afford one just yet, but I do feel that as soon as I've saved for the table I want she will eat better when we sit together and eat.
I do understand why people would think I'm the worst mum ever for even having to ask but I get so worried she's not getting enough vitamins even though she does get a multi vitamin it says to be combined with a healthy diet

So I’ve agonised over this before and my DD is a skinny Minnie on the 9th centile, I was so concerned I spoke to a private paediatric dietitian and she told me, that you aren’t putting them to bed hungry and that they’ve eaten throughout the day. In fact, overtly praising them or pressuring them In anyway to eat often has the opposite effect, children dig in their heels and refuse. If she doesn’t eat her dinner here and there it’s ok, she’s had chances to eat throughout the day. So you’re actually listening to and respecting her bodily cues rather than punishing her by putting her to bed hungry. This advice is from an nhs paediatric dietitian at Bham children’s hospital so it is factual. Please ignore other mums or even HVs saying to encourage and praise and offer lots and lots of things, it is putting too much pressure on a meal time and will have an adverse affect. Again same with bribing with sweets, food is not a reward to be earned.

Unfortunately we had similar advice as many posters have mentioned above and followed it, and it had a huge impact on her she even dropped a centile and has never recovered weight wise.

Also dietitian told us to limit meal times for 15/20 mins max unless they are still really engaged in eating which at this age is very unlikely.

Happy to share credentials of Dietitian if you want to PM me. She charges about £150 and is Midlands based x

We just keep offering until he eats something; to be fair though he’s a great eater so if he’s off something it’s because he’s teething/sore throat or what ever.

I wouldn’t go to bed hungry myself so I wouldn’t make my child do that.

My dd was the same. I ended up batch cooking a whole dish and putting it into tiny little pots so that dh and I didn’t have to keep eating the only 2 meals she’d eat day in day out. Dd went through a Greek yoghurt phase and a toast phase before that. This is where she would only eat these things plus breakfast cereal and eggs plus certain fruit so the batch cooking was progress. Of course she would eat pretty much anything sweet. I cried when she would eat a chicken nugget at 2.5 as I could take her to a restaurant. Don’t make this a battle. My dd eats a wide variety of foods now. She 13.

Jesus. She’s a BABY. Of course you’re unreasonable.

Don’t feel bad @Pops042020. It’s so bloody frustrating when you know they are just being difficult.

When mine went through this phase, I used to give them a portion of the previous nights dinner at lunchtime (as their main meal) and something like boiled egg or beans on toast for tea. They were often just too tired and couldn’t be bothered.

They grow out of it eventually and the less fuss made, the less they realise it’s an issue.

Please don’t turn food into a battle at this age. You have many years ahead when it may be, just feed your baby. If she wants toast and weetabix/yogurt then give her it.

And please don’t listen to people tell you otherwise. Something was telling you that advice wasn’t right or you wouldn’t have asked the question on here, go with your gut instinct.

@Graphista

YABU but again like others I think you know this.

Spoon refusal is often due to teething or other oral pain so you need to figure out if that's the case.

That aside if she will eat toast then will she eat other finger foods? Is it a case of she wants to feed herself? Veggie sticks, pieces of fruit, home made nuggets/fish finger type things or even shop bought OCCASIONALLY, veggie "chips" or "crisps" again home made better, meat or tofu cooked in cubes/strips and cooled and without a sauce on to minimise mess, cheese cut into sticks or cubes, large pasta shapes cooked and cooked... you get the idea

Many items other than toast can be eaten with fingers/hands and that is ok to allow at this age/stage. You can also top the toast with nutritious items other than just butter - marmite is packed with vitamins, peanut butter, cheese spread, bruschetta type spreads, not sure what the advice is on meat spreads/pate for this age now but veggie pates can have loads of vitamins in or puree veggies and spread them on the toast

Basically think outside the box to get around what is likely a temporary issue

Would any of this be useful/an idea?

I'm being told by various family members and friends

They're idiots! And have possibly forgotten what this age/stage is like from when they were parents

but when she's at her child minder a she eats everything they give her.

If you mean it's of an eve/weekend she's eating less well tiredness could be a factor

Plus what is childminder feeding her? If it's more finger foods that may be why

@maddiemookins16mum absolutely! Whatever works! Some of the stuff babies/toddlers like is bizarre but if it gets nutrition in that's all that matters

Cottage pie and chocolate ready brek - whatever floats her boat for now!

she's hungry just won't eat whats good for her

Did you know the only food without any nutritional content is hard boiled sweets and sherbet?

Chocolate - calcium and iron

Crisps - vit c and minerals

Butter - vit d and Calcium

There's no such thing as bad foods per se just bad diet overall so letting her have what you consider bad food on occasion won't harm her

she will still only be eating breakfast food at 18.

Nonsense - you get her over this hump and then gradually increase healthiER foods

You could also ask childminder for recipes, which foods dd likes best. She may be giving her something you hadn't thought of but which is healthy nonetheless.

I'm veggie, raised dd omni but I never bought certain meats as when she was little she wouldn't have been able to eat a full pack, but when she went through a fussy phase I spoke to nursery to find out what she was leaning towards and it turned out to be bacon! So I bought a pack, opened it and cut the rashers into wee bits as she'd only manage a little at a time plus salt content and froze in dd portion sizes and then added a little bacon to just about every meal for a while! She actually went right off it after about 6 months leaving me with bits of bacon I couldn't use

But it got us through that fussy phase

This was actually really helpful, I think it's mainly finger food at her childminders but she only goes twice a week. I'm going to cook some veggies tomorrow and blend them and use them as a spread

Op is this a vile joke?

@Pops042020
At least she's eating, apparently taste buds change (not sure how true it is)
Keep trying her with the foods you make and if you have to add something then do it.
Also can't believe 3 out of 5 people you asked would let a one year old go hungry

@Derbee

Jesus. She’s a BABY. Of course you’re unreasonable.

Sorry but that’s bad advice! She’s not punishing her baby forcing her to go to bed hungry, dd is refusing the food In front of her. Too much pressure or dragging out meal times or offering option after option will exacerbate the issue.

Does she feed herself, or could it be she doesn't want you feeding her?

Always serve up something you know she will definitely eat alongside a meal, such as a piece of the toast that you mentioned.

Don’t turn mealtimes into a battle, if she hasn’t eaten anything within 20-30 mins remove the meal. My DS started becoming fussy at 14 months and it’s so frustrating.

I’d also get rid of the snack food cupboard or hide the snacks elsewhere where she can’t see them. Snow her that there is none left when she points at it and offer alternatives like fruit or yoghurt etc.

I voted after reading ten words of your post.

YABU

Honestly, just give her toast for dinner if that’s what she’ll eat, with some cottage pie to try. Sometimes my DD (also one) just won’t eat her tea. No problem, she’ll have weetabix that day instead. Its what I would do - oh I’m actually really not in the mood for X, I’ll just have a piece of toast. It’s a non-issue.

If you send her to bed hungry, she will just be hungry. She won’t learn ‘oh I didn’t eat my dinner and now I’m hungry, so I should eat my dinner tomorrow’. She isn’t capable of that. It’s just cruel.

@Pops042020 are there safe foods dd eats, can you incorporate them Into the meal, no matter if it’s weird. Shepherds pie with some baby crisps on the side or curry with cheese on the side? That was another tip for the dietitian xx