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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think you don't change your baby's nappy on a cafe table?

191 replies

Bellasblankexpression · 29/06/2021 14:07

This isn't a reverse before I start. Just been for coffee with a friend of mine and a couple of local mums I'd not met before. We were in a cafe with baby change facilities and yet after we'd finished our food, she moved the plates to one side, plonked the baby on a blanket and changed her nappy on the table....while we were still drinking our coffee!

AIBU for thinking that's gross? If there wasn't a baby change facility it might be different although I still think doing it like this would be gross, but there was and it was open as I used it for DS.

I mentioned it to my friend on the way back and she said she'd done it before too because it was easier. She thought it was hilarious that I was so grossed out by it.

So AIBU?

OP posts:
Thosepeskypirates · 29/06/2021 14:46

I'd absolutely hate to be that person everyone looked at in disgust if I did this - I'd never ever dream of changing my 2 week old on a table! I'd much rather huddle in a dark corner with my own changing mat than consider an open table.

Katela18 · 29/06/2021 14:54

This just seems lazy and unnecessary? I'd sooner go out to my car and change my daughter in the boot than do this.

81Byerley · 29/06/2021 14:56

@ButtercupBlue

I've changed a nappy on a table in a softplay centre (when I had a toddler and baby) but personally wouldn't do it in a proper café.
What's the difference? Still a table where people have food and drinks.
EL8888 · 29/06/2021 14:57

Grim. Lazing parenting at its worst

1forAll74 · 29/06/2021 15:00

Yes, just awful, but she would get away with it, if no customers or staff complained to her..

HumunaHey · 29/06/2021 15:00

Aswell as being absolutely disgusting, I just don't like how parents will happily get their kids genitals out in public. It just doesn't sit right with me.

81Byerley · 29/06/2021 15:03

In the times before changing mats were a thing, we changed our babies on our laps. I still wouldn't do it in a cafe though. Babies don't melt if their nappy isn't changed immediately, especially these days when disposables are designed to wick moisture away from the skin....I'm presuming even the most brazen mother wouldn't change a dirty nappy in a cafe?

kindaclassy · 29/06/2021 15:03

That's awful, rude and disgusting. No wonder mothers are being ridiculed with idiots like this.

What cafe doesn't have a toilet where you can change baby on your lap at worst?
Or use the buggy outside, go to your car, any other option but the table!

Inthemuckheap · 29/06/2021 15:03

Grim.

Who are the 6% who voted that it's perfectly reasonable to do this?

ASandwichNamedKevin · 29/06/2021 15:04

@EL8888

Grim. Lazing parenting at its worst
Agreed.

Really disgusting behaviour.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 29/06/2021 15:05

People don't realise how many brainless dirty parents are doing this. It's absolutely not a rare thing. 🤢

HeyDemonsItsYaGirl · 29/06/2021 15:06

@ButtercupBlue

I've changed a nappy on a table in a softplay centre (when I had a toddler and baby) but personally wouldn't do it in a proper café.
What is wrong with you?
Mylittlesandwich · 29/06/2021 15:06

Grim. We were somewhere without changing facilities so I changed DS in the car park in the boot but even that felt a bit odd.

Candleabra · 29/06/2021 15:06

Awful. I'm not surprised you were horrified!

The only thing I will say is that as a parent you become so used to dealing with bodily excretions that you sometimes lose sight of what's normal. I remember my dad bollocking me for leaving a baby's wet nappy by the back door to take out to the bin outside later.

Notimeforaname · 29/06/2021 15:06

Ugh I remember once my ex's father was eating his dinner,in the living room. Daughter in law came in with baby, sat across from him and proceeded to change a very smelly nappy right in front of his face. There were many other empty rooms in the house. Why 😫The poor man's face.

magicstar1 · 29/06/2021 15:08

She's an absolute dirtbird. I would have had to tell her to go to the toilets.

PurpleSplodge · 29/06/2021 15:09

They put up signs about this at our local soft play asking parents to use the changing rooms. I always wondered who would actually do that. Appears it is a common thing. Who knew? 🤢

FlaminEckVera · 29/06/2021 15:10

Ewwww, who DOES that? And who is voting YABU?! Confused

Cam22 · 29/06/2021 15:12

What revolting behaviour.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 29/06/2021 15:12

@FlaminEckVera

Ewwww, who DOES that? And who is voting YABU?! Confused
That thousands of dorty buggers
DreamingofGinoclock · 29/06/2021 15:12

Always use a baby change if in somewhere! If out and about (say on a par or at an attraction - but outside) I sometimes lay the pram flat and pop mat under little one and change in pram (would never do on a table etc where people eat / drink 🤢)

Sunshineandflipflops · 29/06/2021 15:13

Just because you become immune to your own baby's poo and wee, doesn't mean everyone else is or wants to!

I used to find it bad enough when we visited friends and they would just change their babies/toddlers dirty nappies on the living room floor in front of us rather than go upstairs or into another room. They would also throw the dirty nappies out of the upstairs windows on to the garden below until they could be arsed to put them in the outside bin.

ChocolateCakeYum · 29/06/2021 15:14

Rank, lazy, dirty and unnecessary.

The worst example of this I’ve encountered was a family who changed their sons shitty nappy on a Pizza Hut table and left it there while they carried on eating. We were right next to them. Yes I complained. We got our meal free and the family were asked to remove their health hazard.

Nocutenamesleft · 29/06/2021 15:18

@AnotherDayAnotherCake

🤮 YANBU. It’s gross. Like letting your child do a poo in the potty beside the table rather then take them to the toilet. Lazy parenting.
Oh. I saw that once. My mind boggled. The toilets weren’t 3 meters away! Plus why do you want everyone to see your child half naked? Never understand that

The table thing is disgusting. I’ve seen it once and gagged so loudly they went as soon as they’d finished. I didn’t even mean to. Total involuntary reflex. Makes me shiver even thinking about it now.

ButtercupBlue · 29/06/2021 15:18

@Inthemuckheap

Grim.

Who are the 6% who voted that it's perfectly reasonable to do this?

Probably others like me who have seen the rest of the thread calling us 'grim' 'disgusting' 'lazy' and 'revolting' and decided they'd rather not sign up for the insults.

Outside of the mn echo chamber I assure you that IRL I know plenty of others who have or would do this. But I'm sure someone will be along in a minute to say I must hang around with other 'animals' who have been 'dragged up'.

Tables get cleaned between customers and if you think changing a newnborn's nappy (on a mat no less!) is gruesome you'd probably not be pleased to learn of the germs that fester in ballpools etc at softplays!

Anyway I'm bowing out now since this thread wasn't actually about me and I was only giving my personal opinion and experience (not realising it was the wrong one, obviously! How silly of me!)