To make him clean it up

[justawrinkleintime]

I probably was but it was pissing me off.

I have three sons and all have been trained that when you’re peeing you aim for the toilet and if you miss them you clean it up. I leave an antibac spray next to the loo and since the age of about 5ish they’ve been taught to spray the antibac and on their own mess and wipe it up. Tbh it stopped them making a mess pretty quickly.

Anyway, my DS9’s friend is over a lot and pisses all over the loo and often the floor as well. I put it down to being in a rush and wanting to get back to playing etc.

I’d cleaned the bathroom this morning and ds’s friend proceeded to piss all over the toilet seat and on the floor. Literally minutes after I’d cleaned it - he was the first one to use it post cleaning.

I took him in and gave him the antibac and told him to wipe it up and clean it himself. He’s also 9 as well btw.

I was nice about it and said we don’t leave the toilet in that state in this house when we use it.

He went home about 15 min ago and his mum messaged me to say she’s appalled I made him clean it.

I’ve responded politely to say “it’s a shame you’re upset but I’m not cleaning up urine of someone old enough to know how to use a toilet properly...”

I’ve been unreasonable, haven’t i?

If it was a one off then id say unreasonable, but since hes round a lot and keeps doing it, you were completely reasonable

Two of my SSs have no aim and I’m constantly cleaning up piss every time I go to the toilet off the toilet/floor and no matter how much I say to them ‘clean up after yourself’ it never happens and they don’t clean it up properly if I ask them to or they refuse so can’t really do anything, so just clean it as can’t be bothered with the arguments 😂 YWNBU OP, cleaning up other peoples piss sucks.

It's a 9-year old, we are not talking about a toddler who doesn't know better. Surely he saw the pee all over? And still figured that pff, justawrinkleintime can clean it up? If his parents are happy to do that, up to them, but he should know that random other people are not.

This made me laugh out loud . Of course you did the right thing . I am really grateful I only have daughters 😂

Lorw if you sent their df in with a cloth every time they will probably learn (be bloody well told) quicker...
Like shite would I be doing it...

It's not your job to parent him

I totally disagree. I never left my dd under the care of anyone that I didn't trust to "parent" her. If she doesn't like the rules of your house, she can keep her son at home, pissing all over the toilet seat.

We teach our children to behave well to avoid the mortification of their being told off by other people, but when that does happen, they certainly remember it.

Good for you OP, you weren’t being unreasonable in the slightest. Yes it was probably embarrassing for the boy, but he should be more embarrassed about leaving the toilet covered in piss. As for the mother, well if she’d have taught him to clean up after himself this never would have happened.

Good for you!!!! I once had a fully grown man piss on my bathroom floor, i kicked him out of the house because he laughed when I told him to clean it up. Dirty fucker.

I'm so proud of you OP. My boys are absolute slatterns but even they keep their toilet clean.

I would have brought it up with the mother. You should never embarass a guest like that. Especially a child.

@notanothertakeaway

I think YABU to humiliate a guest

I might have quietly said "Hey Joe, it's great to see you, next time you go the the toilet, please can you aim a bit more carefully, to keep the floor clean"

I wouldn't ask a guest to clean my bathroom

Same here. I'd have cleaned it up the first time (piss is piss and once you have kids you kind of become a bit immune to it...it's not like I'd be touching it with my bare hands) and then had a word about being careful when using the toilet that they aim in the bowl.

I wouldn't have given him a cloth and made him clean it up at 9 unless he had done it intentionally with a f*ck you on his face, but clearly I am the exception!

Lorw and their father thinks you should be wiping his sons' piss?

Personally, I would have dealt with it this time but then gone in to the DC and said something along the lines of "I've just remembered that I forgot to tell you where we keep the anti bac for cleaning any mess after we've been to the loo, let me show you" then given him a demonstration.

You think that is less embarrassing chesire?
Ushering a DS and his friend into the loo so that they can stand round watching you demonstrate wiping wee up?! 🤣

I would have gone into the room and said ‘I’ve just cleaned the loo and someone has made a mess. Whoever used it just now needs to sort it out. I’ve left wipes by the toilet’ and leave.

He's 9 - not a little boy at all. Pissing everywhere is a preschool behaviour, children with SENs, bladder issues or my drunk ex.

@Coyoacan

It's not your job to parent him

I totally disagree. I never left my dd under the care of anyone that I didn't trust to "parent" her. If she doesn't like the rules of your house, she can keep her son at home, pissing all over the toilet seat.

We teach our children to behave well to avoid the mortification of their being told off by other people, but when that does happen, they certainly remember it.

Totally agree, I'm sure we all had experiences of being told different house rules e.g. "take your shoes off", "no running" as well as casual things like "stop kicking the door" or "please help dry up" at other people's houses. I can't see how this is different. TBH if word does get out at school I think you'll be carried shoulder high by the other mums!

I do think there's an element of sexism to this, boys pee FACING THE LOO they can see where they're peeing, yet many of you would think it's not his job to aim. I bet if a girl came over and e.g. dripped period blood on the seat (some 9 year olds have periods) you'd have a quiet word with her so she could be aware and not do it again, and that's far more accidental.

If my son had come back and told me his friends mum made him clean up his wee I would've said "I should hope so too!" And " you'll be more careful next time! "
My dd is in reception and someone made a mess in the toilets and the teacher took them all in there to see it and said "this is unacceptable!" So a 9 year old should be able to take it!

If there is a next time, tell her you'll have to call her to collect him if he wants to wee. Otherwise he shouldn't come. Defend your position, don't roll over! Did your son/ sons say anything to him?
You have done the world a favour potty training someone's else's child!

Good grief! You’d think from her reaction you’d rubbed his nose on it or something! What a weirdo!!! You taught the kid a basic life skill! Well done!

What a horrid horrid thing to do - humiliating a 9 yr old like that! If you'd handled it well/sensitively he wouldn't have felt humiliated and felt the need to tell him mum about it.

I'm surprised all you got was an angry text from his mum. If you'd done that to my son you would have got a right earful.

By all means you can make him clean it up, but do it sensitively! Totally shameful, disgusting way to treat a guest.

His mother should be grateful you have taught her son a useful life skill.
Any future partners of that child when he grows up will also be thankful

If you'd done that to my son you would have got a right earful

Nice

You were definitely NOT being unreasonable! She needs to teach her kids some basic sanitary behaviour, I think you're brilliant

YANBU at all. The child:s Mum should have taught child to use toilet properly. Unless 9 year old had additional needs then should be quite competent cleaning up wee. My child with additional needs occasionally dribbles a bit on seat but knows to wipe it up with toilet paper, spray and wipe again, then wash hands properly too. Then he proudly tells me to look at what a good job he did cleaning it up.

Well done OP. You are my new heroine.

OMG that’s brilliant! I applaud you! You are 100% NOT being unreasonable.