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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To make him clean it up

470 replies

justawrinkleintime · 29/06/2021 13:24

I probably was but it was pissing me off.

I have three sons and all have been trained that when you’re peeing you aim for the toilet and if you miss them you clean it up. I leave an antibac spray next to the loo and since the age of about 5ish they’ve been taught to spray the antibac and on their own mess and wipe it up. Tbh it stopped them making a mess pretty quickly.

Anyway, my DS9’s friend is over a lot and pisses all over the loo and often the floor as well. I put it down to being in a rush and wanting to get back to playing etc.

I’d cleaned the bathroom this morning and ds’s friend proceeded to piss all over the toilet seat and on the floor. Literally minutes after I’d cleaned it - he was the first one to use it post cleaning.

I took him in and gave him the antibac and told him to wipe it up and clean it himself. He’s also 9 as well btw.

I was nice about it and said we don’t leave the toilet in that state in this house when we use it.

He went home about 15 min ago and his mum messaged me to say she’s appalled I made him clean it.

I’ve responded politely to say “it’s a shame you’re upset but I’m not cleaning up urine of someone old enough to know how to use a toilet properly...”

I’ve been unreasonable, haven’t i?

OP posts:
Shell4429 · 01/07/2021 12:44

No, you haven’t.

seashells11 · 01/07/2021 12:59

I'm amazed the boy had the gall to moan to his mum about it. He must really have thought he was badly done to. Well done for educating him Op.

billy1966 · 01/07/2021 13:51

His mother's outrage didn't last long🤣

SunshineCake · 01/07/2021 14:03

@bondgirl76

I have a really nice black granite floor..my husband and 2 sons regularly pee on the floor.It drives me mad...
Please tell us you tell them to clean it up?
Elfblossom · 01/07/2021 14:36

Unless you (are really odd and) have a urinal in your home - TELL THE MEN & BOYS TO SIT THE HELL DOWN!

There's factually & scientifically NO reason that penis owners should stand up to pee- in fact, it's healthier for them to pee sitting down as it empties the bladder more effectively & is better for the prostrate.

KatharinaRosalie · 01/07/2021 14:42

I'm actually getting quite pissed off here that so many men and boys feel it's fine to piss all over and have their or someone else's wife/mum mopping it up. They're facing it, it's not like they didn't notice the splashes. So what's the thinking? "Ah sod it, the women can do it"?

sue69m · 01/07/2021 14:43

Maybe his mum would like to come over & clean up after him?
Well done you! He's old enough to know & aim better

junipertree2 · 01/07/2021 14:49

Exactly how did you address this child, OP?

I mean, I agree with you confronting him, but were you pleasant about it or a bit harsh?

If you said ,'look, I know you probably aren't aware of this, but you made a bit of a mess using the toilet here, so if I give you a cloth and some spray could you clean it up and we'll say no more about it'? Or did you lecture him? If you were cross and exasperated (which is understandable as you aren't a bloody skivvy) then maybe it was more your tone he was upset by?

OnASpoonEdge · 01/07/2021 15:05

@junipertree2

Exactly how did you address this child, OP?

I mean, I agree with you confronting him, but were you pleasant about it or a bit harsh?

If you said ,'look, I know you probably aren't aware of this, but you made a bit of a mess using the toilet here, so if I give you a cloth and some spray could you clean it up and we'll say no more about it'? Or did you lecture him? If you were cross and exasperated (which is understandable as you aren't a bloody skivvy) then maybe it was more your tone he was upset by?

But he did know he had done it, he was aware. What would be the point in pretending that he hadn't? He'd been a rude child and was corrected.
MrsKoala · 01/07/2021 15:14

So what's the thinking? "Ah sod it, the women can do it"?

Ime there is no thinking. It’s just ‘there’s piss on the floor. I can’t be arsed to clean it up’ and then just walk away and forget about it. I don’t think they care whether it gets cleaned up or not.

nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut · 01/07/2021 15:55

@user163769379 if you'd have given me earful. You'd get one right back telling you how to teach your child some basic hygiene skills!

You'd also be told that your dirty child was no longer welcome as a guest in my home.

Not until he had the ability to go to the toilet without having someone clear up after him.

Who the fuck wants guests like that?

This^

I'd have been mortified if my son did that and the text would have been an apology for the manners malfunction. At 9 years old they are more than old enough to know that in someone else's house, if you can't aim reliably, you sit.

Thankfully the boys in our family are dragged up right and past age 5, have never left a mess to be cleaned up.

TheSunShinesBrighter · 01/07/2021 15:59

@sue69m

Maybe his mum would like to come over & clean up after him? Well done you! He's old enough to know & aim better
Well exactly. Maybe the OP should hand the mother/father anti-bac spray and wipes when they come to pick their little Prince up?
Original poster
justawrinkleintime · 01/07/2021 17:31

@junipertree2

“James, can I borrow you for 2 secs? You’ve left a wee mess in the toilet. There’s a spray there and the boys just spray and wipe down if it’s needs it when they’re done so it’s clean for the next person. Can you wipe down the lid and floor where there’s a mess please and stick the loo roll down the toilet?”

All of about 10 seconds.

OP posts:
youvegottenminuteslynn · 01/07/2021 19:05

[quote justawrinkleintime]@junipertree2

“James, can I borrow you for 2 secs? You’ve left a wee mess in the toilet. There’s a spray there and the boys just spray and wipe down if it’s needs it when they’re done so it’s clean for the next person. Can you wipe down the lid and floor where there’s a mess please and stick the loo roll down the toilet?”

All of about 10 seconds.[/quote]
If people still think this is belittling and berating then they are really reaching! This is entirely age appropriate and firm but fair, relaxed but clear. Sorry some people have acted like you screamed at him OP!

Original poster
justawrinkleintime · 01/07/2021 19:42

Defo no screaming.....

That’ll be the next time he does it 😂

OP posts:
Drovememad · 01/07/2021 19:50

@justawrinkleintime really no screaming??

I bet you rubbed his nose in it really!

Come on fess up!

Closetbeanmuncher · 01/07/2021 19:55

The mother will be still mopping up his piss when he's 40, he will also have no idea how to cook or wash his clothes because mummy dearest has always been there wiping his arse for him.

I can't stand women who parent boys this way, no wonder there is a constant stream of complaints on mumsnet of men not pulling their weight when it comes to housework.

Bridezillamaybe · 01/07/2021 20:05

I don't know about this one OP. Not exactly the same but when I was far too old I wet the bed in a friend's house. Her mother was so kind to me, as was my friend. They were so light-hearted about it, swiftly said they needed to change the bedclothes anyway and her brothers were always doing the same. They were lovely.

A year or two later I went to stay with a new friend after moving school. I had avoided sleepovers for this exact reason but had not had an incident since my other friend's house and hadn't at home for many years. It may have been the worry but it happened again. I went to tell the mother who looked horrified and said nothing just taking the sheets from me. My friend later scolded me saying her mother was very angry, it wasnt fair on her. I can clearly remember the humiliation I felt. I suspect that boy felt the same.

sassbott · 01/07/2021 20:06

Wetting a bed in your sleep vs. Pissing all over the toilet when you go to the toilet are two very different things.

One is completely accidental. The other is not.

junipertree2 · 01/07/2021 20:12

I'm sure you were nice enough OP. Strange that he reacted that way when kids are pulled up by teachers by behavourial things all the time. Would suspect that his mother is probably one of those parents picking arguments with teachers too.

Drovememad · 01/07/2021 20:24

@Bridezillamaybe don't be ridiculous, wetting the bed whilst asleep is an involuntary action. Pissing all over the floor whilst wide awake and doing it repeatedly is not an involuntary action. It's laziness!

PandemicAtTheDisco · 01/07/2021 21:41

@KatharinaRosalie

I'm actually getting quite pissed off here that so many men and boys feel it's fine to piss all over and have their or someone else's wife/mum mopping it up. They're facing it, it's not like they didn't notice the splashes. So what's the thinking? "Ah sod it, the women can do it"?
I'm really pissed off with the mother's who don't teach their sons properly. These boys are going to be our children's potential partners one day.

It seems like some parents just have such low expectations on their children's behaviour during their development. Calling a preteen a little boy is babying him. Calling a toddler or preschoolers a baby is the same.

My friend was teaching her sons how to pee in the toilet before they went to school. One has additional needs but he still managed to learn before started school.

KatharinaRosalie · 01/07/2021 21:46

I'm really pissed off with the mother's who don't teach their sons properly.

I would think fathers are better for this job? Unless of course the father in question can't see that he himself has pissed all over the toilet.

Original poster
justawrinkleintime · 01/07/2021 23:37

@Bridezillamaybe

Sorry but they’re not comparable other than they both involve urine 🤷🏻‍♀️

You didn’t consciously wet the bed Confused

If a child stated the night and wet the bed the only thing to do is clean it up and do so with discretion.

Pissing all over a toilet seat while fully conscious is a different matter entirely.

OP posts:
Original poster
justawrinkleintime · 01/07/2021 23:39

@Drovememad

Haha no, as much as some posters think I’m a old harridan, I was nice about it! 😂

OP posts: