To make him clean it up

[justawrinkleintime]

I probably was but it was pissing me off.

I have three sons and all have been trained that when you’re peeing you aim for the toilet and if you miss them you clean it up. I leave an antibac spray next to the loo and since the age of about 5ish they’ve been taught to spray the antibac and on their own mess and wipe it up. Tbh it stopped them making a mess pretty quickly.

Anyway, my DS9’s friend is over a lot and pisses all over the loo and often the floor as well. I put it down to being in a rush and wanting to get back to playing etc.

I’d cleaned the bathroom this morning and ds’s friend proceeded to piss all over the toilet seat and on the floor. Literally minutes after I’d cleaned it - he was the first one to use it post cleaning.

I took him in and gave him the antibac and told him to wipe it up and clean it himself. He’s also 9 as well btw.

I was nice about it and said we don’t leave the toilet in that state in this house when we use it.

He went home about 15 min ago and his mum messaged me to say she’s appalled I made him clean it.

I’ve responded politely to say “it’s a shame you’re upset but I’m not cleaning up urine of someone old enough to know how to use a toilet properly...”

I’ve been unreasonable, haven’t i?

@Thewarrenerswife

Here’s the definitions. Asking a child to please wipe where you weed on the floor, here’s the spray and toilet roll doesn’t really fit either berate or belittle, unless you are given to hyperbolic overreactions.

Of course if you’re happy to clear up perfectly functioning people’s urine for them then crack on. But don’t complain when you use a public loo and someone has pissed all over the place because the child that is never told to not do it and made to clean up after themselves is the adult that treats public conveniences like a shit hole.

I mean, is this not exactly what is termed ‘natural consequences’?

I'd just get some loo roll, wipe it up and flush it. I'd assume it was an unnoticed mistake, it would take seconds and I'd totally forget about it. However, an adult doing this is not the same as a child so it's not really relevant in this scenario. My dad did it a few times so I asked him to sit, but that's because he's here often. If it was a child I'd probably make a discreet mention to the parents.

Anyway, I’m out. Rest assured that your little cherubs invitations will dry up the longer you allow them to behave like savages in other people’s homes.

I would have called them all in and pretended I didn’t know who had done it and reiterated that whoever makes a mess cleans it up. I would have then cleaned it myself.*
That way he’s should get the message without you singling him out. if he did it again I’d just say whoever last used them toilet please can you clean up.

As if all the other boys didn't know who had been last.
That would have been public humiliation.
The OP, instead, told him privately to clean after him.

[quote JackieTheFart]@Thewarrenerswife

Here’s the definitions. Asking a child to please wipe where you weed on the floor, here’s the spray and toilet roll doesn’t really fit either berate or belittle, unless you are given to hyperbolic overreactions.

Of course if you’re happy to clear up perfectly functioning people’s urine for them then crack on. But don’t complain when you use a public loo and someone has pissed all over the place because the child that is never told to not do it and made to clean up after themselves is the adult that treats public conveniences like a shit hole.

I mean, is this not exactly what is termed ‘natural consequences’?[/quote]
Pretty sure that at the point OP gave him anti bac and told him they don’t piss on the floor in ‘this house’… as if he lives in a urinal, that he felt pretty ‘little’. And there’s no nice way to say it, and he clearly felt berated as he went home and told his Mum was a freak show it was.

I don’t think anyone’s cherubs will be queuing to go round OPs house once word gets out. Hardly made to feel welcome.

Adults pissing all over the floor? Know many? Bizarre analogy…. lest we forget this is a 9yr old child 🙄

@Thewarrenerswife well feel free to put your own meanings and feelings and tone etc. based on what OP said. That’s part of what I mean by ‘hyperbolic overreactions’.

And no, I don’t know any adults that piss all over the place, but lucky you to have never experienced a public toilet where someone has done just that!

So get away with your face you know just as well as I do that it happens often.

Hardly made to feel welcome

Omg now I KNOW you’re on a pisstake!

[quote JackieTheFart]@Thewarrenerswife well feel free to put your own meanings and feelings and tone etc. based on what OP said. That’s part of what I mean by ‘hyperbolic overreactions’.

And no, I don’t know any adults that piss all over the place, but lucky you to have never experienced a public toilet where someone has done just that!

So get away with your face you know just as well as I do that it happens often.[/quote]
You know hyperbole means to exaggerate right? And she did actually take him into the loo and tell him to clean his own pee because this house doesn’t ‘do that’.

Sooooo it is what it is. No exaggeration… that’s what she actually did to her 9yr old sons friend over a bit of pee splash. No need for hyperbole… because she actually did that. Other people don’t do that because it’s weird.

Everyone cheering on here is like those people in customer service who want to say go fuck your self to the rude client. They don’t do it, because they know it’s wrong. But when Brenda who’s having a nervous breakdown does just that, they all cheer and say ‘right on!!’. Not because they really think it’s right on… but because it’s fun to watch someone actually do it.

It’s not fun - he’s 9.

Yes I know what hyperbolic means. That’s why I used it @Thewarrenerswife. Do you struggle in general with reading comprehension?

And the reactions I’m referring to are yours, you know, where you say the child was belittled and demeaned after a gobby gloatfest from the OP? Not OP’s reaction which I think was perfectly in line with what occurred. Which wasn’t a ‘bit of pee splash’ (to be clear, this is you not using hyperbole, this is you belittling what the OP actually said which was ‘piss all over the toilet seat and on the floor.’ Which happens a lot as the child is over a lot).

And me pointing out that a child who does this will likely become adult who does this is less relevant than your Brenda in the shop example but whatever.

He's only 9. I don't think he will be back. But maybe that's for the best.

I should learn not to bite.

I apologise for my snark @Thewarrenerswife. But I still completely disagree with you and think you’re being contrary for the sake of it.

How come we aren’t allowed to complain when a builder leaves shite all over the toilet?

My daughter had her friend round to play the other day. She’s 7.5. She went to the toilet and when I went in after her the toilet was a mess and there was poo all over the seat and bowl.

There is absolutely no way I would have called her back in to clean it up. No way. I just cleaned it up and pretended it never happened. Like normal people do.

If you'd done that to my son you would have got a right earful
Given the appalling aim of this filthy, untrained nine-year-old, what makes you think her ear wasn't full and unpleasantly warm already?

@youvegottenminuteslynn - I assure you I did not! I mentioned it nicely - he grudgingly cleaned the seat but not the rest! I won't be doing it as luckily I have my own (clean) bathroom!

I don’t think anyone’s cherubs will be queuing to go round OPs house once word gets out. Hardly made to feel welcome.

If the boy and mum spread the word around it's them who will look bad, on two accounts.

@Anythingelseintheboxpandora

How come we aren’t allowed to complain when a builder leaves shite all over the toilet?

Err....When did THAT rule come in? Not "allowed" to complain about a builder leaving shite all over the toilet?

Of course you complain, and loudly too unless you are a weak "dont like confrontation" making excuses for no back bone person. You obviously have never seen the threads about builder's "penisy hands" all over the house when they havent washed them after using the loo

Nope not unreasonable. I have two boys. Neither miss the toilet. The eldest is disabled and still manages to get It in the toilet . Where my DH works, there one bloke that’s always pisses all over the toilet and the floor, he never cleans it up. It’s disgusting.

@Thewarrenerswife

Absolutely!

@JackieTheFart

I should learn not to bite.

I apologise for my snark @Thewarrenerswife. But I still completely disagree with you and think you’re being contrary for the sake of it.

It’s okay to disagree. I am not being contrary, I genuinely think OP was out of order, and as a parent, I know the conversation at the school gates once a story like this broke. The whole thing makes her sound unhinged.

Let’s be realistic, and get our general comprehension right. When OP says “piss all over the toilet seat and on the floor.” it’s that word you love to bandy… hyperbole. Because unless he went in there with the intention of actually urinating everywhere but the loo… it was a bit of pee. If he’d genuinely pissed all over the toilet seat and the floor, he would have needed more than some anti back and loo roll to ‘wipe’ it up.

I’ll say it again. All this over a bit of pee.

@MrsKoala

It’s a yabu from me. I’m cringing at the thought of asking a guest to clean up.

I remember going to a friend’s house about the same age and not flushing the loo after a wee (something I was taught to do in my house). I was escorted to the bathroom and informed that it wasn’t the done thing in that house with some disapproving faces. It was really humiliating and I still remember it. If it were me a quiet word with the parent would be better.

My son who is 8 would dwell on this and it would upset him a lot. However, he sits to pee so he is conscious of making a mess and says ‘better to be safe than sorry’.

You remembering this is a good thing. You were taught to flush the loo but chose not to so in someone else's house. That was a grim thing to do (children are often a bit gross so no judgement there). You learned a valuable lesson about how to behave as a guest that you still remember.

Shame is an important thing in society as it teaches us how to act to others. Similar to how pain teaches us not to touch hot things. I still curl up with embarrassment remembering some of the things I have done in the past. Who doesn't?

She was taught NOT to at home. There's nothing "grim" about not flushing the loo after a little wee. Honestly, some people are so precious!

Maybe I misunderstood (the phrasing is not 100% clear) but the point still stands. You learn how to act in society as a result of often embarrassing errors. You don't act the same as a guest as you do at home in many ways.

I totally disagree. I’d have remembered it and learned the lesson equally but without the sense of panic and shame if the parent had either mentioned it to my mum and she could have told me or if they’d spoken to me quietly more sensitively. Frog matching me to the toilet to point at wee with head shaking and disapproval simply taught me that some people are just cunts. It also taught me never to humiliate a guest and how not to be a host.

@Thewarrenerswife once a story like this broke are you for real? 😂😂

Anyway he was back in the house last night playing with DS.

And btw, even if you had “toileting issues” with your pee aged 9 I’d still expect you to wipe the pee down. It’s not a hard task and it’s just basic hygiene.