To hate it when people bang on about how they didnt need to 'try' to conceive

[SunflowerOwl]

Two pregnancy announcements from friends this weekend have included a comment along the lines of 'we were so shocked that it happened straight away!'.

I'm pregnant myself so it's not a jealousy thing but I just dont understand why that detail needs to be shared with others, especially as you've no idea how difficult others found it.

Am I just being a sour cow or is this becoming more of a thing?

@edgeofacoin I'm sorry but you can't compare not passing your driving test to not being able to have children. Infertility is like grief but it gets worse over time, there is no end in sight, only more pain, more failed treatments, your life is on hold and you don't know whether you'll be one if the lucky ones. It can take over your life and can make you very bitter, even the nicest of people. Some people are driven to madness with it, your friends are moving on with their lives, and you're left behind, you don't fit in anymore because of course their lives now revolve around their children. It can impact every single aspect of your daily life, its endless. I have 2 cousins in their late 50s who couldn't have children and when I told them I was pregnant they were so happy for me but both had a little cry and said that pain never leaves you. No children, then no grandchildren. It devastates lives. So leaving the room may be the only way some women can cope with seeing someone pregnant, she may have just miscarried, gone through another round of failed treatment. Its nothing like repeatedly failing your driving test or not getting the job you want, in fact that's extremely insensitive to even try to make comparisons.

I don't think you're being unreasonable. It's unnecessary for any couple to say things such as "we barely tried to conceive" or "we didn't even have to try" or even, "It just happened". Because obviously they did "try to" to a certain extent otherwise they wouldn't have conceived at all (it's not like theyre the virgin mary). The only instance when a couple isn't actually "trying to conceive" is when they're young like teenagers and don't know anything about the reproductive process but as adults we all know how the process works. Unless the couple "tried to not" conceive but ended up conceiving anyways through no fault of their own (birth control methods have failure rates) then they definitely put in the effort to "try to conceive" such as not wearing a condom or stopping the pill or ceasing use of other hormonal or nonhormonal birth control methods. I would stay away from people who brag like this, they seem full of themselves and thrive off the misery of others.

Because obviously they did "try to" to a certain extent otherwise they wouldn't have conceived at all

That’s not true. “Trying” implies effort. If you stop using contraception and bingo you’re pregnant, there’s no effort involved at all.

I know this is an old thread but one of my friends may have been bragging similarly to this. She's nearly 39 and had her first baby a few weeks ago. Her and her partner said they weren't trying but weren't avoiding (they'd been together 9 months when she got pregnant). Recently she said that they are just 'super bloody fertile'.

I didn't struggle myself however we did try for 2 months for dc1 and 5 months for dc2 so some actual trying was involved. I found ttc massively stressful even in just a few months. I was so anxious about whether it would happen or not. So I must admit, for my friend to be a bit boastful about her fertility and how they weren't even trying, does bother me somewhat. I would loved to have got pregnant without trying and all the what if stress.