To send child to school with no breakfast.

[LittleBlackCat22]

I feel really guilty, although I know they have bagels in class in the morning plus snack at half 10.

She refused to get out of bed this morning until it was time to leave, then refused to get dressed. She was 25 minutes late for school and if she had breakfast too that would have made her even later! She’s 6, and seriously pushing boundaries atm. She loves school, so not a school issue. Just very much not a morning person.

I'm sitting her open mouthed at some of the comments. If you were posting that she is late for school every morning or misses breakfast every morning, I would understand some of them, but it's one day. It may never happen again, if it does, that's the time to start thinking of strategies. We're all allowed an off day, even 6 year olds. I think it's good that she wanted breakfast and was hungry, that means she's already had a consequence for her behaviour.

I suggest you put it out of your head @LittleBlackCat22, and try to enjoy your day. Hope your pregnancy sickness eases up soon.

[quote Lagomtransplant]@3scape

A moderately active 6 year old requires 1600 cal/day. A breakfast should be 25% plus 100 cal a snack, so up to 500 cal at that point. A bagel (250 cal) and a snack totals up to 350.

A single apple or a brioche 95-140 calories puts you in a neglect zone. Please consider food issues counselling.[/quote]
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHA

"Neglect zone" - Lagomtransplant get a flippin grip... As if one breakfast skipped equates to either food issues nor a pattern of nutritional neglect. Here in the UK, we have far more food than we actually need. A skipped meal is not a reason to call Barnados...

Give your head a wobble.

Pretty much cross posted with you @Dahlietta!

@chasingmytail4

I'm sitting her open mouthed at some of the comments. If you were posting that she is late for school every morning or misses breakfast every morning, I would understand some of them, but it's one day. It may never happen again, if it does, that's the time to start thinking of strategies. We're all allowed an off day, even 6 year olds. I think it's good that she wanted breakfast and was hungry, that means she's already had a consequence for her behaviour.

I suggest you put it out of your head @LittleBlackCat22, and try to enjoy your day. Hope your pregnancy sickness eases up soon.

I'm laughing at the lunacy.

@nameisnotimportant

I always choose sleep over food, she's a smart cookie

I would too. Some of us aren't food-centric.

OP, she needs to go to bed earlier (tonight) she needs to learn a) you're the alpha b) she plays up and actions have consequences ie bed at 6pm.

You're pregnant - you're perfectly capable of parenting. No is a complete sentence.

Set the alarm on her ipad for 6am 620 and 630am she will get up then

Yeah she will be going to bed straight after dinner today and won’t be allowed out to play with her friends.

Oh @SaltAndVinegarSandwiches can you post the recipe for the muffins! Sounds yummy

OP so sorry to hear about your stressful morning! So grim to be sick and pregnant and have an uncooperative 6 year old (especially a suddenly uncooperative one)!

I would try to talk it through with her after school calmly (maybe sit down together with juice and biscuits). "Do you remember what happened this morning? Why did you choose not to get out of your bed? Why did you think that was a good thing to do? What consequences were there because of your decisions?" (no breakfast, very late for school, Mummy sad and worried). I realise that her answers may be "don't know" for things, but she is definitely old enough to be thinking about the consequences of her actions going forward, eg:

• If you don't get out of bed when you need to, then you'll not get breakfast and have to wait for school bagel.
• If you keep refusing to get out of bed in the mornings, then we'll have to take your big girl high bed away and you'll have to sleep on a bed closer to the floor.

Also, don't despair! You are not neglecting her, she will not have starved, and you will be able to get this sorted out.

Not ideal but far from extraordinary or rare! Pre current lockdown home schooling we normally do a military style morning rush with best endeavours to squeeze in any light breakfast be it warm milk and fruit or just a grab and go yogurt drink. We walk for maximum Covid security (avoid public transportation) as local journey too short for hassle of traffic and parking saving five minutes of the commute. Now with home schooling and working at home/living at work allows a bit more flexibility for a proper mid morning full cooked or hot breakfast. Child fights sleeping early as it’s warm and light until way past bedtime and hence a struggle to rise nice and early and so morning rush with minimal food consumption. Presumably food and water breaks are adequately provided in school so light or no breakfast for a young child is not ideal but fine if collecting at the end of the school day with a supplemental packed lunch.

Lol @ the judgy judgment on this thread,
OP don’t feel guilty! She knows the routine, was offered food in the routine, made a choice - if she felt hungry, she’d be up, and she won’t do it again! Or, she’s happy to cope without breakfast, and will do it again🤷‍♀️
They are little buggers, but if they need food they will get themselves moving!

I know a parent who at 30 min before school starts grabbed a child by the scruff of their pyjamas out of bed with one hand and stated that if they weren't dressed for school in 10 mins they would be placed in the same manner in the car and dropped off in school like that. They were never late for school not even once. Sorry but being late for school because of not being dressed is not on.

I never ate breakfast before school, made me vom. Mum gave up when I was about 7 and we were both happier. I ate fruit sometimes at break.

Missing breakfast one morning because she refused to get out of bed is fine, and you definitely don't need to feel guilty! Warn her next time that if she doesn't get up in 10 minutes you're going to throw a wet flannel at her. Works for my son (my mum says to the same thing me as your dad said to you haha).

@Whoarethewho I had a similar scenario with dd2 last week

Me - if you aren't ready we'll be leaving as you are, even if that's just in your pants

DD2 - you can't make me get in the car

Me - yes I can, I'll carry you if I have to

DD2 - well you can't make me get out the car

Me - I'll phone the head teacher to come out and get you

Never seen anyone get dressed so fast with the prospect of being collected in her pants by fair but very firm HT. 😆 Helps that I do nearly always follow through so it was a very real threat for her. (Not sure if I'd have gone through with it if it hadn't worked though)

cocoloco that's spectacular!

So....am I the only one who wouldn't need to be able to physically reach a 6 year old to get them out of bed, because my tone of voice does the trick?

Seriously OP. Missing breakfast one day isn't an issue. Your six year old not doing what you tell her to is. You've got to have some authority over her - if she doesn't respect you at 6, she certainly won't at 16.

My little one is the same, I just give him either cocoa or fresh orange to drink for the energy/ vitamins and figure there's always snack time and lunch....I was always the same as a child safety I get it. Nothing to worry about, as long as breakfast is offered the rest is up to them

She apologised when she got home. She’s having an early night and hasn’t been allowed to play out with her friends.

@RichTeaCheddars - I'm not sure that's was the norm. Me and all my friends had snacks from home or the tuck shop during the 80s and 90s for morning break. My DD had fruit and salad veg provide by school in Infants, then a tuck shop in Juniors but due to Covid they now bring their snacks from home

The OP has said her DD wanted breakfast but there wasn't time so not that she wasn't hungry. But I agree I'm sure she was fine with the food provided by school!

@LittleBlackCat22 - hope you have a better morning tomorrow! The morning sickness certainly doesn't help!

I don't think this is so much about the OP not being able to get her daughter to do as asked I think it was a tough morning with OP being sick and time ran away. I mean you start by asking nicely then more firmly but if you start puking after the asking nicely bit, the asking firmly may happen a bit late!

OP glad she apologised. She may be feeling happy about being a big sister but even a tad put out x

@LittleBlackCat22

I read a lot of the thread (and all of your posts) but I lost the will you live with many of the posts!

It was one morning she refused to get out of bed. She's 6, you've moved house, she's at a news school and she has a baby brother on the way. She's not being 'naughty' she's going through a lot an expressing some control the only way she can, it's normal.

Unless her Dad isn't there at night, you don't need to change her bed, healthy kids really don't need lifting out of bed at her age, so no need to worry about the couple of hours when he's at work. Find your 'voice & tone' and that's that sirted.

Don't feel guilty she didn't have breakfast SHE is the one refusing to get up in time.

IF it hapoens again, simply tell her what the consequences will be fit being late to school. Just be calm and tell tell her whatever fits the bill, something like fir every 5 minutes she's late, she loses an afternoon of 'playing out'.

But she's really not being naughty she just doesn't have a much better way of controlling her life so is taking control where she can! A house mive a school move and the excitement but unknown factor of a baby brother....