To send child to school with no breakfast.

[LittleBlackCat22]

I feel really guilty, although I know they have bagels in class in the morning plus snack at half 10.

She refused to get out of bed this morning until it was time to leave, then refused to get dressed. She was 25 minutes late for school and if she had breakfast too that would have made her even later! She’s 6, and seriously pushing boundaries atm. She loves school, so not a school issue. Just very much not a morning person.

@DinosaurDiana

She will be fine, but I would be letting the teacher know why she’s going to school with no breakfast. These things can get out of hand if your daughter tells school she’s been sent to school with no breakfast !

Yep! My daughter told her teacher she’d not had breakfast (she absolutely had!) Teacher collared me about it at pick up!

OP - just have a chat to DD after school today.
Explain it makes you sad and cross etc etc...
Check there's nothing going on at school.
Make a reward chart together.
My DD liked foxes, so I cut out a large fox, then chopped it up into bits. A leg, A tail, A body etc. Then each day she got to re build her fox until it was complete.
Another good one was a monkey climbing up a tree. Each stage of getting ready was a climb up the tree, until he reached the banana at the top - then DD got a reward.
DD could even make her own chart.

You should not feel guilty one bit.

If it helps teach timekeeping and that actions have consequences, your investment in being strict on this will be repaid many times over.

I'm a bit perturbed by the fact that those who have had breakfast can then have a bagel (carb city) as well as a morning snack.

Huh? The idea is to provide this in case dc have not had breakfast. Breakfast and a morning snack is the norm! OP is she not missing the bagels though if she's that late? No harm as a once off but my mum guilt would probably mean I'd get her to eat something, such as a banana or breakfast bar on the journey.

I definitely would not tolerate the not getting out of bed though. I'd have some consequences for that. Send her to bed earlier with the reason that she is obviously too tired in the morning and wake her earlier so lying about won't make her late. I think I'd have stood over her til she moved though. I hate being late for anything 😆

If she usually has breakfast and asked for something to eat this morning I think yabvu. Making her a slice of toast or giving her a banana takes seconds
If I were to 10 30 without food I feel very nauseous and headache y, not the best state for learning

Lots of people don't eat breakfast.

DD - now 12 - has never eaten breakfast unless it's a brunch type thing nearer to lunchtime.

It's not essential.

@RonniePickering

She refused to get out of bed this morning until it was time to leave

She’s 6? Bit weird you’re giving her the option to stay in bed until it was time to leave 😳
You need to nip that in the bud.

Get her up on time! It's not up to her what time she gets up.

If we all oversleep, I have cereal bars (without nuts) that ds can eat on the way.

Why no nuts? Nuts are a great breakfast item

@newnortherner111 If it helps teach timekeeping and that actions have consequences, your investment in being strict on this will be repaid many times over.
Did you misread six for sixteen!

DD never eats breakfast, DS2 sometimes skips it, but loss of appetite is a side-effect of medication. It won't kill her.

@Bouledeneige

Yeah its not ideal - but then not getting to school on time isn't either. I'm surprised about that really - I can understand being late because you forgot something but not being 25 minutes late because she wouldn't get out of bed. I think you really need to get on top of this as she will have you run ragged if you can't get her doing what she is told to do. There do need to be some rules - like going to bed and getting up for school. Getting out of bed for school is non-negotiable.

And that's from someone who is frequently accused of trying to be a 'cool mum' on here!

Try that with a child with ADHD.

What time is she going to bed? If she is in bed by a reasonable time, there is no reason she shouldn't be up with plenty of time to get to school by 8.40.

Must be tough op having a stroppy 6 year old whilst pregnant.

As others have said forget breakfast, but she does need to be at school on time.

You need to take control, now or she'll realise she is the boss and it will escalate.

Yanbu

I keep a supply of cereal bars in my handbag and bagels in the car for this purpose. They often eat breakfast on the way to school.

I totally understand why she hasn't had breakfast. She will survive. However, I'm a softee, I'd have grabbed a banana/apple on way out to eat on the walk/drive to school.

She goes to bed at 7, gets up at 8.

IME, 6 is a difficult age. With my DC it was like a resurrection of the terrible twos.

Actions = consequences is no bad lesson to teach your DD, OP. It's a cliche, but this too shall pass.

LittleBlackCat22 you can get everything needed for a star chart including rewards online.

Your partner can sort that out later on this evening while you are relaxing and NOT worrying about one missed breakfast.

It sounds like you have a perfectly normal, lovely family who are going through the motions of some pretty big changes for a 6 yo. Your DD is reacting exactly as she should.

Try the reward chart and see what happens.

@MarieIVanArkleStinks it’s hard isn’t it? We never had the terrible twos so this is hard for me to deal with as I’ve never had to experience it before!

Try that with a child with ADHD.

OP hasn't mentioned any ADHD or other additional needs?

My 5 year old is exactly the same OP we live 5 minutes away from the school and still manage to be late despite her waking up at 7am. Our issue is not the refusing to get up but refusing to get dressed, brush teeth, eat breakfast, put shoes on etc. 😒 When everything is a battle it takes alot longer (and you can't force a child to behave - sometimes as loveable as they are they really are little sods!). One day without breakfast isn't going to hurt her and there have been some big changes lately which explains why she might be acting out. Take a deep breath and know tomorrow will be better (probably )

Hopefully the mere threat of not being allowed to sleep up there will be enough! Without having to follow through.
If its the only time she has done it, dont go over board. Consequences and calm discussion is far better.

She was hungry and wanted breakfast but I said no as she was late because of her behaviour.

I'd struggle with that too... Logically one day without breakfast won't hurt her and she won't be hungry for long, but I'd still not like it.

I'd second the suggestion that her bed needs to change, though. It sounds like a shame, but you're going to struggle if you can't get her down from there.

I think getting your partner to manhandle the child's mattress into the floor so she has to sleep there is a smart move, though I'd give her one sad serious warning, as in, "Mummy can't pull you out of your bunk when you're not getting up by yourself, so if it happens again, you won't be sleeping up there any more until you are sensible."

As for having no breakfast, what option did you have - take her a tray in bed?! I think not.

Hugs, listening, and a bit of tough love is the best course, I think.

@LittleBlackCat22

I wouldn’t worry about today, it’s just one day. Does sound as though she’s struggling with the school move though? Maybe fixing that will stop the bed protest next time?