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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To send child to school with no breakfast.

235 replies

LittleBlackCat22 · 24/06/2021 08:56

I feel really guilty, although I know they have bagels in class in the morning plus snack at half 10.

She refused to get out of bed this morning until it was time to leave, then refused to get dressed. She was 25 minutes late for school and if she had breakfast too that would have made her even later! She’s 6, and seriously pushing boundaries atm. She loves school, so not a school issue. Just very much not a morning person.

OP posts:
diddl · 24/06/2021 10:03

What time does your husband leave for work?

Could he get her up before he goes?

diddl · 24/06/2021 10:04

@Beeeeeeeeeeeeeep

How does a 6 year old 'refuse to get out of bed'?
The same way as an adult?
Original poster
LittleBlackCat22 · 24/06/2021 10:04

No he leaves at half 5. She would need to go to bed as soon as she gets home from school to get up that early Grin

She likes a good 13 hours my daughter does. I’m very jealous.

OP posts:
aggathapanthus · 24/06/2021 10:05

LittleBlackCat22

.” But she like Gollum up there in her little lair and I can’t get to her.”

Much sympathy, but this did make me laugh.
Are you able to change the sleeping arrangements, for a normal single bed?

Mintjulia · 24/06/2021 10:05

She's 6. She doesn't get to refuse. You tickle her feet until she gets out of bed. And then you tickle her or play-threaten her with a cold wet flannel until she gets dressed.

If we all oversleep, I have cereal bars (without nuts) that ds can eat on the way.

Cam2020 · 24/06/2021 10:05

What a lot of fuss over one breakfast. I'm rarely hungry in the mornings and have always been that way. My mum used to try to persuade me to have breakfast, usually to little avail. I've made it to 40 in good health (half and full marathon runner) and have a degree from a RG uni, so I dont consider myself to be damaged 🙄

Original poster
LittleBlackCat22 · 24/06/2021 10:07

@Mintjulia I can’t reach her feet…

OP posts:
Grimacingfrog · 24/06/2021 10:08

Don't worry OP, it won't affect her future success. It's horrible though when they won't play ball. Do you give her options, like, you can either get out of bed now and have a proper breakfast or only have a piece of dried bread on the way to school. And then stick to it.

Hope you're feeling better now Flowers

SarahAndQuack · 24/06/2021 10:09

She might just not be hungry. I don't feel hungry when I first wake up; I never did. So long as she understands she's missed breakfast because she slept in, it's fine.

RichTeaCheddars · 24/06/2021 10:09

They have bagels in class and a morning snack. That IS breakfast. Totally sufficient for morning food. Lunch won't be far behind either. She'll be fine.

I know times have changed since the 90s but we didn't have any of that at school and we survived. No bagel, no snacks. Only lunch which was eaten at lunch. If we didn't eat breakfast we'd have managed till lunch (on the odd occasion) obviously not ideal but it's one breakfast, not every day

BigusBumus · 24/06/2021 10:10

@LittleBlackCat22 I'm so sorry I somehow missed the bit where you are pregnant and have morning sickness, so I apologise for saying you need to parent better. You have my sympathies, feeling rough in pregnancy is horrible.

Clickbait · 24/06/2021 10:11

I've never been a breakfast person, I didn't eat before school when I was 10 and I don't usually eat breakfast now. I know it's the most important meal of the day blah blah blah but I'm just not hungry at that time.

DeflatedGinDrinker · 24/06/2021 10:11

I voted YABU but mean YABU to be bothered about this one occasional.

LouLou198 · 24/06/2021 10:12

I would be more concerned she was 25 minutes late for school. This behaviour needs nipping in the bud, you won't have time for this carry on with a newborn. Wake her up at least an hour and a half before you have to leave. At 6 I would be expecting her to get dressed and make a simple breakfast eg cereal herself. Mine have gone without breakfast on occasions, but it's been their own fault for messing about. They soon learn!

MyDcAreMarvel · 24/06/2021 10:12

There are no circumstances where you deprive a child of a meal. Yes it would have made her later for school and what? You think her education would be be impacted? Your daughter is in year 1/2.

Comedycook · 24/06/2021 10:12

Get some breakfast bars and a banana to eat on the way to school if she'll eat them.

babbaloushka · 24/06/2021 10:12

@LittleBlackCat22

This is the first time she’s refused to get out of bed btw. I know I haven’t handled it perfectly. But she like Gollum up there in her little lair and I can’t get to her.
This made me laugh OP, they can be tricky wee bastards when they want to be, if she does get hungry she'll learn that she needs to be up in time to eat, no harm done!
Original poster
LittleBlackCat22 · 24/06/2021 10:14

@LouLou198 she does usually get up and get dressed and make her own breakfast.

I think people are misunderstanding. She didn’t reject breakfast. She was hungry and wanted breakfast but I said no as she was late because of her behaviour. That’s the guilty part. I would never force her to eat id she disnt want to.

OP posts:
ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 24/06/2021 10:15

YANBU

you say you feel guilty so it's all on her, you are not negligent or uncaring.
some kids are a pain when it comes to breakfast (or any meal) & some just not that hungry in the morning.

I'm not a breakfast person, up since 7.30am, not even hungry yet.
she'll be fine, but it's probably worth having a chat about what she wants and how to handle morning routine going forward

Shergill15 · 24/06/2021 10:15

I dont think her missing breakfast on one occasion will do her any harm, especially as she gets a substantial snack at school. Maybe have some things in she could eat on the walk/drive to school in case it happens again- fruit/cereal bar etc. Hope the morning sickness eases up soon x

Wimpund21 · 24/06/2021 10:15

If it's genuinely physically impossible for you to reach her op then you need to make other sleeping arrangements for her.

Apart from the angst about being late, not eating etc, more importantly is that it sounds very unsafe. What if there was an emergency and you had to get out of the house? What if she was ill or non-rousable?

6 is too young imo to be able to put themselves somewhere where an adult physically cannot reach them, what ever the reason is.

Blondeshavemorefun · 24/06/2021 10:16

I would have taken to school in pjs. I’ve done that before as child wouidnt get dressed. Next day got dressed quickly

Yours won’t starve not having breakie esp as snacks at school

Don’t be too hard on self

olivesnutsandcheeseplease · 24/06/2021 10:17

If it happens again- can you take her to school in her pjs and bring a bag with her school uniform in. Take her to the office and they will usually get a teacher to have a word. My friend did this as her daughter was so difficult at a similar age. The mortification factor meant it never happened again

Original poster
LittleBlackCat22 · 24/06/2021 10:17

If she wore pyjamas I would but she sleeps in her pants Grin

She’s a sweaty little piglet.

OP posts:
Hannsmum · 24/06/2021 10:19

My 7 yr old DD does this almost every morning. I drag her by her feet .

OP don't beat yourself up about it. You are not a bad parent and I think I'm even worse by forcing my 3 yr old to have breakfast before he goes to nursery because of this same feeling

It's just one off just drag her out of bed next time and be firm with herFlowers

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