Who gets children ready for school

[Rizzoli123]

AIBU

In our house its always me.
We have 2 boys.

My husband is still in bed till at least 5 minutes before they go to school. Am I being unreasonable to ask that he helps maybe just a little bit. I don't mind if he dosent help just sit up and engage with his kids!

Get up early and get out of the house 2-3 days per week and leave him to it. Go to work or have walk or go to a cafe and have a nice breakfast. If he won’t volunteer then make it happen. But also ask yourself if you want to be with someone who you have to force to do their fair share or parenting

But also ask yourself if you want to be with someone who you have to force to do their fair share or parenting

OP is a SAHM of school aged children and husband already does pick ups and cooks dinner. So he should do 100% of the money earning and 50% of childcare on top?

This is, bizarre.

If you are wealthy enough to only need 2-3 hours a week of paid work between you and have 2 children at private school could you not just get a cleaner?

You are making a choice to clean every room daily. I don't even use every room daily so not sure why or how you can need to clean so much.

Cleaning one hour per day is more than enough.

I always do but that’s because DH has to leave for work at 6:30. If he’s off then he does it. I would not be happy with your situation.

I do the days I'm taking ds
Dh does the days he is

@Manteo

If you are wealthy enough to only need 2-3 hours a week of paid work between you and have 2 children at private school could you not just get a cleaner?

It's clearly alll bollocks

Never had to get my school aged children dressed, just reminders about how much time they had left. They also made their own breakfasts, ie cereal or toast (occasionally needed help pouring milk if it was a new bottle as 4pints is quite heavy)

Joint house joint kids, all chores shared more or less equally. I’m the better cook, other half is good at DIY so it’s not 50/50 on each thing but in terms of time spent it is.

I do mornings, DH does most of the evening activies. Maybe that's the compromise you need to come to
DH isn't a morning person and if he was just sitting up talking to us while getting ready I think it would actually piss me off.

I do wish people would read the thread. Op does nothing else alone apart from the mornings and cleaning the house.

My DH gets up first, lets the dog out, brings me coffee and sometimes unloads the dishwasher. Then he takes the dog for a walk. I get the kids ready and fed, but sometimes he brushes their teeth. I’m not sure it is completely even but I love him so much for that morning coffee!

Depends. At first DH was still working in the office and I had a late start so he would be out of the house before 7am. He would do all the pick up and clubs in the late afternoon though.

When he started wfh (nothing to do with covid, happened already years ago), he would still do his normal early start but would have breakfast with DD while I would feed the pets, get bags/lunch done. I had breakfast when DH was in the shower.

I would then drop DD off and later DH made sure she left on time when she was allowed to go on her own.

Unless there is an issue like a. telco. with Asia at 7am (happens every. 2-3 months for a week) I expect him to be present and help without me asking.

I am in your situation, DH has a lovely leisurely morning in bed, getting ready and having a shower 4/5 days a week. He does often help at the end with teeth and hair whilst I finish getting ready. He works full time and I work part but I had to argue with him for one regular week day where he gets up. We both get up one day a week as the cleaner comes so need to tidy etc for that. But I do generally get a lie in and he gets up sat and sun.

DH, he gets them up, washed, dressed, breakfasted, feeds the dog, empties dishwasher, does school run then wakes me up with a cup to tea and the newspaper
Two/three days a week I work and am up and out before he wakes up, on those days generally I try and get the 5 year old washed and dressed. I take DH a cup of tea as I leave.

My dc are 3 and 6 and husband gets them fed dressed and ready in the mornings and I get up between 10-20 mins before it’s time to leave. However I do shift work and often not finished/home until 12:30/1am

I get up to sort the animals, OH gets up with DD and gives her breakfast. I get back and have a quick shower, then herd DD into her uniform and I do her packed lunch while OH ensues she’s cleaned her teeth, puts on sun cream, etc.
I then do the school run while OH gets a shower, it’s a bit of a tag team effort

I'm a SAHM and DH usually works away so it's mostly all me. If he's here chances are he's leaving around 5:30/6 so he'll unload the dishwasher and make a drink for anyone who's awake before he goes.

There's not much to do though really. Youngest are 10 and 9 and have been coming downstairs showered, dressed and teeth done for years. They unload the dishwasher while I make breakfast and lunches if they're having a packed lunch.

I do it 100% of the time even on weekends I get the children dressed and washed, I’m a SAHM.

That's a lot of cleaning!! I'd cut back on that and go and do something nice for you during the day like see a friend for coffee or go for a walk.

Your h might think that getting the kids ready is your job as he works and you don't. And he makes dinner?

How do you split things at weekends?

I would be so annoyed at that.

I get up and make the kids brekkie & pack everyone's lunches while partner gets ready. He then comes down and gets them dressed etc while I get read and then we're off to work.

I think it should be a joint effort. Why should it all be down to you!

Perhaps missing the house but how on earth does every room need a 30 minute clean every day?! A bit of a tidy perhaps, but a clean? Have a rest from it, you'll not notice any difference!

Missing the *point

@proopher you aren’t missing the point. It’s all just weird. Cleaning 4-5 hours a day for no reason at all and a DH that works 2-4 hours but doesn’t seem to do much else.