Who gets children ready for school

[Rizzoli123]

AIBU

In our house its always me.
We have 2 boys.

My husband is still in bed till at least 5 minutes before they go to school. Am I being unreasonable to ask that he helps maybe just a little bit. I don't mind if he dosent help just sit up and engage with his kids!

Good split here. I get up early and go for a run then have a shower. DH makes breakfast. I make lunches. Both nag if needed for them to get up. I do hair (less of an issue for boys maybe!). I'm currently WFH so DH takes them to the bus on his way to work.

On days DH has to leave early I have to do most of it and its a nightmare. Although he still gets breakfast ready.

He WFH and can pick his own hours. I get up sort out kids, see them off to school, clean, have lunch, clean some more and then kids come home

You either live in a mansion or have ridiculously high standards. Or are finding things to do to fit the time available. There is no way you need to clean 5 hours a day. An hour a day should cover most of it and then you have 4 hours to spend doing whatever you want.

Whoever’s home here. Usually I do the bulk of the getting ready but DH does the school run. We are both working in/out of home.

It’s a bit mean of him not to help, but if you get 9-3 child free 5 days a week, that’s quite a lot of time.

How long does the school run take and what is their start and end times?

@Rizzoli123

Surely you aren't cleaning for 5 hours a day ? I think I'd stick my head in then oven. MORE TO LIFE THAN CLEANING

I usually do but I'm a sahm. My partner will do lunchbox though so that saves me some time in evening or morning.

I get ds uniform ready night before and put it in his room, he will get changed etc and I'll bring his breakfast up to him or he'll come down for it.

Sometimes if I'm really tired (currently 32weeks pregnant) my partner will tell me to stay in bed and he'll do it if he hasn't any early meetings.

what do you need help with? At 6 are they not getting ready themselves with just minimal supervision?
My ds is 5 and his stuff is laid out the night before. I get him up and jump in the shower. While I'm getting ready so does he. Surely at 6 your DC are dressing themselves and washing, teeth etc?
We then go down, ds has breakfast while I make lunch and have a cup of tea. We then leave. I'm also a sahm and I can't see why you would need help, especially as you have the entire day free after your DC leave?

I don't get peace. As soon as they are out the door I get ready. I then clean, eat a quick sandwich and then their back. How is that peace

How can that be true? They are gone for hours 5 days a week. Even if you you did the school run both ways and had a half hour journey to drop/collect that still leaves at least 5 hours each day. Most parents do not get that amount of time to clean and get ready.

My DP does it, but I do most of the dinners and all the bedtimes. We both work. I think as a SAHM it sounds reasonable that you do it.

It's always been me. DH does roll out of bed and drive DD either to school or lift share pick up point, but that's the extent of his involvement with school stuff..
I do lunches, organise all admin, all uniform, etc. We both work.
On the rare occasion he has done lunch, he doesn't do it how she likes (eye roll to both of them) and frankly I know she prefers me to do it because DH is pretty flaky about this (good in other areas, so I do let this one go) and I remember to do stuff.

I don't get peace. As soon as they are out the door I get ready. I then clean, eat a quick sandwich and then their back. How is that peace

Either you have the longest school run known to man, have the largest or untidiest/dirtiest house or are really bad at managing your time.

Are you seriously cleaning for the whole time they're at school?

Both of us. I do breakfast. I help dc5(3) dress while Dh does lunch boxes, the older 4 (11, 10, 8 & 6) are old enough to get themselves sorted now. We both supervise teeth. When I used to do the lunch boxes I'd do them the night before, Dh would help Dc5 while I was putting the food in to the boxes & then getting dressed. If he's leaving early he does his bits still, just earlier (& he'll often get Dc5 sorted too). It's only if he's away I do it all.

Can't see how you're cleaning all day (unless, as mentioned, you live in a mansion). I got back from school run at 9 & had finished the actual cleaning within an hour, I did some sorting out after as Dh has secured a tip slot for the weekend (a big thing currently, they're rare as hens teeth ) while I had some peace because Dc5 is in nursery all day. So I've been free since 11 & will be until 3, I'll fold the washing after lunch but that only takes 10 minutes.

Your free time is when the kids are at school.

His free time is before he starts his job.

Sounds fair to me.

I work. Chores, cleaning etc.. are all done BEFORE we leave for school or I leave for work.

You need to organise yourself a lot better, or if you enjoy a leisurely morning with the kids (fair enough) don't complain about your time.

Very very unfair to leave out the fact that you have 6 hours to yourself every school day whilst he's at work out of the opening post.

Although you have later posted that you get back, clean and have a sandwich and then they're back!! Um, what? Can you let us know how it takes 6 hours to clean and have a sandwich as that is completely relevant to who should do this task?

We do one child each - DH gets the baby ready for nursery/nursery run, I get the 5 year old ready for school. DH does most of the schoool runs as he has flexible working whereas I have to log on dead on 9am.

DH is up before us usually, so while I get things like lunch & clothes etc. he makes sure DD gets breakfast, toilet & teeth done etc. We share the school run depending on our schedule for the day.

So you clean your house non stop for 5 hours a day, 5 days a week? So you spend 25 hours a week doing housework in a house with 2 adults and 2 6 year olds who are at school all day? I think you need to Google the organised mum method, that’s excessive

You should be doing it. You get free time when your kids are at school 5 days a week. If you choose to spend a ludicrous amount of time cleaning instead of spending time on you then that’s your choice.

@cadburyegg

So you clean your house non stop for 5 hours a day, 5 days a week? So you spend 25 hours a week doing housework in a house with 2 adults and 2 6 year olds who are at school all day? I think you need to Google the organised mum method, that’s excessive

or get a job for these hours and employ a cleaner! You'll still be better off.

Not sure exh did a single get up for school routine in 14 years of education - tell a lie he did once, I went at 6am to a funeral, my DD's relished in telling me he was late dropping and late picking up!

My husband works abroad but when he is home we take day about getting kids up , breakfast and to school and same goes for bed time, turn about. We both need a break so we try to give each other as much as one as we can.

You spend 5 hours cleaning every day?

Me 99% of the time - and when he does 1% he seems to need praise for it!

With both parents working then tasks in the morning should be split and both people should be pulling their weight. However with you being a stay at home parent there is really no reason it shouldn’t fall on you most of the time, aside from the occasional day here and there where DH does it to give you a morning off.
You are making a complete martyr out of yourself by claiming you have no peace and never get a break when the kids are out of the house for a large chunk of the day.