Aibu to think this is too full on?

[Luckystars1]

Hi,

I met this guy about 6 years ago through a friend, who met as a group of us a few times and texted a bit but nothing happened between us, I never met him alone but it was clear he liked me, it was very brief and short lived though. we lost contact anyway and in that time he met somebody else and got engaged.

Fast forward to now he sent me a friend request on Facebook and sent me a message saying long time no speak. He explained that he’s no longer with his partner, went into detail about their nasty breakup etc and started being rude about her which I thought was inappropriate as I’d not seen him in years and I didn’t know her.

Then out of no where he put to me ‘you’re the one that got away’ ‘I always wanted you, you know I did’. We texted back and forth a bit and this is where it went from 0 to 100.

I told him I now have a 2 year old DD. He near enough straight away said ‘I’ll come up this week and meet her’ and he keeps asking about seeing me everyday. He says ‘come and see your man’

He told me he’s got cats and I said I’d love a cat if my Landlord would allow one he said ‘I’ll buy you a kitten if you’re allowed a pet’
He’s then gone on to say he’s got a caravan holiday booked at the seaside that he had booked in with his ex but he’s said me and DD can come with him ‘if we are lucky’. I didn’t say anything back to this and the next day he brought it up when I never agreed. ‘don’t forget you’re both coming away with me in October’

He also says things like ‘tell you’re landlord I’m moving in, I’ll get my bags packed’ I’d love to wake up to you every morning’ ‘you’d be lucky to have me, I’d always go out my way to put a smile on your face’ ‘I know how to spoil a woman’

Also I mentioned about a fishing lake near mine as he said he likes fishing and he put ‘you’re really making me want to marry you’

He said last night ‘he’s not stopped smiling since he messaged me and that he can’t stop thinking about me and it’s the happiest he’s felt in a long time. He put last night ‘I hope you’re thinking about me before you go to bed’

Aibu to think this is too full on? I’ve not seen him in 6 years and even then he barely knew me as we only spoke briefly and we’ve texted for only 2 days and he is saying all this among other things.

[Elderflower14]

Stop encouraging him. As others have said I really hope he doesn't know where you live.. Block him and move on!!

[SnoopyLights]

He's rude about his ex and pushy and overbearing with you.

You hardly know him, it's been six years since you last had contact, and it's only been two days of contact now and he's telling you that you'd be lucky to have him?

Don't let him anywhere near you or your daughter.

[HideousKinky]

The phrase "I know how to spoil a woman" alone makes me shudder.
He sounds really creepy

[AbsolutelyPatsy]

i also think he needs someone to live.
he sounds so desperate

[JustATypo]

He sounds terrifying and completely unhinged, let this go on too long and you’ll get even more freaky stalking messaging and he’ll turn up to pick your kid up from day care because he’s convinced he’s the daddy. Jesus OP, I hope he doesn’t know where you live, shut it down FAST before he gets even crazier. There is nothing cute or endearing about this behaviour, it’s batshit crazy, stay well away.

[bert3400]

He sounds absolutely unhinged. This is not normal behaviour and you should make no further contact. I really hope he doesn't know where you live

[ByeByeMissAmericanPie]

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

Red flags all over this. Just run.

[Elys3]

I would do what you can to protect yourself and your child. Can you say to him that you’re not up for a relationship and then stop engaging? If he acts strangely or turns nasty, contact the police.

[Pottedpalm]

Why are you even asking? You know this is all wrong.

[peachyandkeen]

This is truly terrifying behaviour. I am aghast that you even need to check that this behaviour is too full-on OP. Please, as others have said - think of your daughter - if not yourself. Men like this are dangerous and often volatile.

Shut it down. And take a look at your own boundaries and self esteem - reflect upon them. I say this with kindness.

Good luck.

[Mookie81]

@Tossblanket

Jesus.

His ex is probably rolled up in a carpet somewhere.

I'd give him a miss.

sorry hut this made me laugh

[HoppingPavlova]

Why do you need to ask whether this is abnormal behaviour?

[Jumpingintosummer]

Run for the hills!

[Daisy829]

He sounds controlling. Do not get involved. Run as fast as you can.

[gotalottolose]

I agree with others who say it sounds like he just wants a place to live.

I’d guess at best you’re going to end up with a cocklodger. At worst, abuse. He has no boundaries and sounds unstable. I bet as soon as his illusions are shattered in any way and things aren’t perfect, he’ll flip.

[Whyemseeaye]

Standard love bombing. Run a mile. Any man who contacts you out of the blue, promises you the earth and blames their ex for everything is man to avoid!!!

[tara66]

You did remind him that you had not even seen each other for 6 years, that you hardly knew each other anyway and are actually total strangers now? I also think he is to be avoided.

[ApolloandDaphne]

You need to tell him you are not interested then block him. I hope he doesn't know where you live?

[JadedStrumpet]

He sounds absolutely terrifying.

I'm genuinely concerned about your boundaries if you have even ask if you ABU.

Block him on everything immediately. Nothing good will come of staying in contact with this man. You have a child to think of. Protect them by not giving this crazy bastard another second of your time.

[Anniegetyourgun]

OMG. What they all said (except the ones who said he might be nice under all the crazy). This might be the beginning of a beautiful romance if it were a romcom, but it's real life, and you have a small child. Just... don't. And don't tell him any more about where you live. I bet he's checking out houses near fishing lakes at this moment.

You are not responsible for his happiness. You are responsible for your and your child's welfare. Not saying he's necessarily dangerous in a psychopathic sense, but emotionally he's not going to do you any good. Trust the nest of vipers. We know stuff. Some of us have been there, others have seen it play out and it never ends well. (Ask his ex...)

[Naimee87]

I agree with the previous posters. It would be different had you met more than a few times and agreed you enjoyed each others company. But even after a first meeting this type of behaviour is insane. And i think its a very good thing you haven't met and can knock this on the head without ever meeting. I would seriously consider blocking him and cutting all contact. I realise it is a pretty harsh thing to do as perhaps there is some good in him but this is completely too much by a stranger. Also agree with protecting your daughter an not letting anyone into her life that you cannont trust.

[HoneyzAiy]

You need to stop texting him immediately. Just block the guy. Pretty much everyone on this post has said that this is a huge red flag so listen and cut off contact. This is not the kind of person you want to be messing with, especially when you have a young child. Do not, under any circumstances, let this man into your home and near your child. Also, work on your boundaries.

[tommyhoundmum]

Red lights flashing. Get yourself out of the situation as politely as possible.

[TimeIhadaNameChange]

Block him, and tell mutual friend before they get used as a flying monkey.

I went through similar a few years ago: mutual friend, met in group, fancied me at first sight, he got married but pursued me anyway. I was flattered even though it was too full-on, but I wanted to keep him as a friend, and not annoy our mutual friend by pissing him off too much. I should have told MF what was happening and blocked Perv sooner than I did.

It eventually happened when he wouldn't listen to what I was saying and assumed we would be meeting up regardless of my saying I didn't have time. When he finally got the message he threw a tantrum. Not attractive in the least.

Don't let it get that far, especially with a young child in tow. Just ignore, block, and get your MF's support.

[Grimacingfrog]

Block him and whatever you do don't tell him anything else about you and your daughter. Red flags aplenty!