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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Aibu to think this is too full on?

469 replies

Luckystars1 · 24/06/2021 04:12

Hi,

I met this guy about 6 years ago through a friend, who met as a group of us a few times and texted a bit but nothing happened between us, I never met him alone but it was clear he liked me, it was very brief and short lived though. we lost contact anyway and in that time he met somebody else and got engaged.

Fast forward to now he sent me a friend request on Facebook and sent me a message saying long time no speak. He explained that he’s no longer with his partner, went into detail about their nasty breakup etc and started being rude about her which I thought was inappropriate as I’d not seen him in years and I didn’t know her.

Then out of no where he put to me ‘you’re the one that got away’ ‘I always wanted you, you know I did’. We texted back and forth a bit and this is where it went from 0 to 100.

I told him I now have a 2 year old DD. He near enough straight away said ‘I’ll come up this week and meet her’ and he keeps asking about seeing me everyday. He says ‘come and see your man’

He told me he’s got cats and I said I’d love a cat if my Landlord would allow one he said ‘I’ll buy you a kitten if you’re allowed a pet’
He’s then gone on to say he’s got a caravan holiday booked at the seaside that he had booked in with his ex but he’s said me and DD can come with him ‘if we are lucky’. I didn’t say anything back to this and the next day he brought it up when I never agreed. ‘don’t forget you’re both coming away with me in October’

He also says things like ‘tell you’re landlord I’m moving in, I’ll get my bags packed’ I’d love to wake up to you every morning’ ‘you’d be lucky to have me, I’d always go out my way to put a smile on your face’ ‘I know how to spoil a woman’

Also I mentioned about a fishing lake near mine as he said he likes fishing and he put ‘you’re really making me want to marry you’

He said last night ‘he’s not stopped smiling since he messaged me and that he can’t stop thinking about me and it’s the happiest he’s felt in a long time. He put last night ‘I hope you’re thinking about me before you go to bed’

Aibu to think this is too full on? I’ve not seen him in 6 years and even then he barely knew me as we only spoke briefly and we’ve texted for only 2 days and he is saying all this among other things.

OP posts:
katedan · 24/06/2021 06:36

BLOCK this man sounds dangerous, you have a young daughter to protect, several red flags in what you have told us that are early signs of an abusive relationship.

Skysblue · 24/06/2021 06:39

He’s a creepy weirdo OP.

Run!!

Dippydinosaurus · 24/06/2021 06:40

He's eyeing up moving in with you. You're his next slave, cleaner, chef etc. Block

Lolalovesmarmite · 24/06/2021 06:41

Run like the wind.

Waspsarearseholes · 24/06/2021 06:43

He's got it all planned out in his head but the only little snag in his plan is he hasn't bothered to check if you'd like to get to know him. Not even meet him or start a relationship yet but literally just get to know something, anything about him. I'd take any talk of his ex with a pinch of salt too. For all we know she had no idea they were engaged, he could have just been someone she saw on the bus.
This guy is not only a creep and/or socially constipated but a complete weirdo and that could be very dangerous. Make it so he can't contact you.

romdowa · 24/06/2021 06:44

I echo what everyone else has said. This guy gives me the creeps and there is no way I would get involved with him. Just stop talking to him.

Ansjovis · 24/06/2021 06:45

More red flags than at a Chinese New Year party.

Zari29 · 24/06/2021 06:47

Why on earth are you still entertaining this?

Exactly!! All these statements from him and replies to your conversation. You are the one indulging and entertaining him. You don't need anyone here to tell you about the massive red flags flapping right in front of you.

MiloAndEddie · 24/06/2021 06:48

Is he still friends with your friend? Could you message them and see if he is batshit crazy? if he is usually sane and rational at least you know he’s not going to turn nasty.

I also think it’s never a bad idea for someone else to see this kind of behaviour in case something were to happen, like him turning up on your doorstep.

But seriously run for the hills and block him while you’re at it!

PeridotPenelope · 24/06/2021 06:49

Block him. No more contact.

I hope he doesn’t know where you live.

sbhydrogen · 24/06/2021 06:53

Waves all the red flags

Ohmygoshandfolly · 24/06/2021 06:54

He’s a creep. First red flag was slagging off his ex to you, always run a mile if any man does this. You need to protect your DD, block him everywhere please. I hope he doesn’t know where you live.

HollowTalk · 24/06/2021 07:01

Make sure you are the one who got away!

newnortherner111 · 24/06/2021 07:02

Yes, block him.

DotsandCo · 24/06/2021 07:03

You have to ask???? Where are your boundaries OP? 😱 This man is completely crazy! Do not engage any further. At all. Ever.

Menora · 24/06/2021 07:04

He needs somewhere to live, that’s why he’s doing it

Rowofducks · 24/06/2021 07:06

Run and never look back.

My ex was like this. I had known him for years and when I split from my oldest’s dad (she had just turned two) he started messaging me like this. I was young an stupid at the time having only had one boyfriend. Soon all the nice stuff turned into “I’ve done this for you so now you ow me”. I was with him for 10years and honestly I don’t think he knew a thing about me. He had this vision of who I was in his head and got angry when I didn’t fit his vision of a constantly happy sex doll.

So please see all those red flags and block him.

Sinner10 · 24/06/2021 07:13

Block him! I bet he is the reason the last relationship broke down.

Rainallnight · 24/06/2021 07:18

Just another one here saying he sounds mad and dangerous and you should have nothing at all to do with him.

LynetteScavo · 24/06/2021 07:20

He's even scaring me, and I've never even had a message from him.

You won't be able to talk your way out of this, you're going to have to say you've met someone else/ realised you're a lesbian and block him.

SmokeyDevil · 24/06/2021 07:20

I don't think he is unwell or crazy like others are suggesting, BUT he is either on a massive rebound or he's not telling you the truth about his 'ex'. Likely they are still together, but he knows they won't be soon and wants a back up slave. You're the back up slave.

Block him and don't talk to him again. He's love bombing you, although very badly, and will for certain let you down.

DumplingsAndStew · 24/06/2021 07:25

How romantic 😍

It sounds like true love 💘

If you're into serial killers.

CeeceeBloomingdale · 24/06/2021 07:29

Every time your respond to him he sees it as encouragement and the more he learns about your life and habits. This makes it easier to stalk you. Stop communication now without explanation and block.

LadyCatStark · 24/06/2021 07:31

Sounds like a classic case of love bombing to me.

PensionsYes · 24/06/2021 07:31

RUN