Aibu to think this is too full on?

[Luckystars1]

Hi,

I met this guy about 6 years ago through a friend, who met as a group of us a few times and texted a bit but nothing happened between us, I never met him alone but it was clear he liked me, it was very brief and short lived though. we lost contact anyway and in that time he met somebody else and got engaged.

Fast forward to now he sent me a friend request on Facebook and sent me a message saying long time no speak. He explained that he’s no longer with his partner, went into detail about their nasty breakup etc and started being rude about her which I thought was inappropriate as I’d not seen him in years and I didn’t know her.

Then out of no where he put to me ‘you’re the one that got away’ ‘I always wanted you, you know I did’. We texted back and forth a bit and this is where it went from 0 to 100.

I told him I now have a 2 year old DD. He near enough straight away said ‘I’ll come up this week and meet her’ and he keeps asking about seeing me everyday. He says ‘come and see your man’

He told me he’s got cats and I said I’d love a cat if my Landlord would allow one he said ‘I’ll buy you a kitten if you’re allowed a pet’
He’s then gone on to say he’s got a caravan holiday booked at the seaside that he had booked in with his ex but he’s said me and DD can come with him ‘if we are lucky’. I didn’t say anything back to this and the next day he brought it up when I never agreed. ‘don’t forget you’re both coming away with me in October’

He also says things like ‘tell you’re landlord I’m moving in, I’ll get my bags packed’ I’d love to wake up to you every morning’ ‘you’d be lucky to have me, I’d always go out my way to put a smile on your face’ ‘I know how to spoil a woman’

Also I mentioned about a fishing lake near mine as he said he likes fishing and he put ‘you’re really making me want to marry you’

He said last night ‘he’s not stopped smiling since he messaged me and that he can’t stop thinking about me and it’s the happiest he’s felt in a long time. He put last night ‘I hope you’re thinking about me before you go to bed’

Aibu to think this is too full on? I’ve not seen him in 6 years and even then he barely knew me as we only spoke briefly and we’ve texted for only 2 days and he is saying all this among other things.

[grapewine]

You don't know this man. He appears to have this all planned out, except your just a fantasy in his head. He doesn't know you either. Terrifying.

Protect your daughter and yourself and block him. I really hope he doesn't know where you live.

[3scape]

At the you're the one that got away and telling you 'you knew it' I'd have run for the hills. The man has decked himself in red bunting.

[VaguelyInteresting]

Does he know where you live, OP?

If not, send him a single message to say that you’re disturbed by his behaviour and you are going to block him from all social media and phone accounts. That if he tries to make contact with you again, directly or indirectly, you’ll consider harrassment.

Then block and delete. from everything. And tell any mutual friends what’s happened and that you don’t want him to have any of your details such as address from them either.

[VickyEadieofThigh]

What all those saying "Run away NOW!" said.

BLOCK HIM AND RUN AWAY.

[ihtwsf]

He's split up with his partner. He wants a replacement ASAP. He's focussing on you. He's not interested in building up a relationship slowly and getting to know you etc.
It sounds like a very recent split as he had a holiday booked with her.
He wants a replacement girlfriend for sex, household tasks etc.

I'd also suspect him of being a hobosexual - a person who gets into a relationship with someone for the simple reason they need somewhere to live. No man "falls in love" faster than one who has urgent housing needs....

Send him a message saying it doesn't work for you and then block him on everything. Easiest way. Don't feel bad about it in any way. Block. End of issue.

[VaguelyInteresting]

If he does know where you live, that may push him to come and visit you. If that’s the case then you need to send a similar message but it would be worth blocking him but not deleting, so that you can keep an eye on his movements.

[theressomethingaboutmarie]

So many red flags, it's stunning. I also find it really interesting from the perspective of him telling you what's happening and how lucky you are....your feelings don't appear to come into this at all, which should tell you all you need to know.

[Threewheeler1]

Block him and run.
Terrifying.

[DaisyFeather]

‘Too much too fast’ indicates OP is interested but I’m not sure she is? So it gives him an opening to keep trying to break her.

Surely an, ‘you’ve misunderstood- I’m not interested in a relationship with you,’ is far more direct. And I really hope you’re not interested OP. This kind of man has already mapped out a delusional and sinister future for the two of you. In fact the three of you, which is utterly terrifying frankly. None of it’s real, but it is to him.

[KindnessCrusader]

I had a boyfriend like this. Exactly like this. Because my self esteem was so very low I thought his over attention was nice at first. It took me about 6 weeks to realise I wasn't into it. Getting away was hard. He wouldn't 'let' me finish it. He'd turn up at my house at all hours, send me presents and turn up at my work.
I've been married to someone else for 10 years now and my blood still runs cold when I think of that creepy man.

[doritodust]

Holy shit I barely got halfway through the OP and I thought ''Fucking run''

Do you really need us to tell you that though @Luckystars1 ?

He sounds like he's going through a mental health issue and that's giving him benefit of the doubt.

[Bexxe]

This sounds so unhealthy! This is typical smother you in a love bubble before showing tru colours - i would advise to run! If hes this weird straight away its only going to get worse!

[MadamBatty]

The expression ‘I know how to spoil a woman’ can be understood in different ways.

[championthewonderhorse70]

Good grief. He's bloody nuts.
I hope he doesn't know where you live

[IDontReadEyebrows]

@MadamBatty

The expression ‘I know how to spoil a woman’ can be understood in different ways.

Ain’t that the truth…

[Noodella18]

He's on the rebound - I'd steer clear. Break-ups can do funny things to people and he's not necessarily a maniac, but he's acting like one at the moment.

If you actually quite liked him before and would otherwise want to give him a shot I would probably say "I'm very conscious that you've just had a nasty break-up and it sounds like you need to process that before you can get into something with anyone. Call me in six months if you still want to, I'm not talking to you until then."

[Iwantcauliflowercheese]

So many red flags! Sadly he sounds as I'd he has MH problems and I'd steer well clear. I met a gorgeous man with a DS the same age as my DD. Went for a lunch date. Then he visited me at my house with his DS. Next thing, he rings to say he's booked us a holiday in the South of France with our DC. I dumped him straight away. Being rushed into holidays etc. made me feel suffocated. As a single parent with no spare cash, a holiday would have been wonderful, but not with someone so pushy.

[Gh0stontoast]

You’ve landed yourself an instant boundary-pushing cocklodger.

What a catch - not!!

[Borisjohnsonshairbrush]

Oh My lord above, he sounds like he's going to be like the hp from sleeping with the enemy.

I'm sorry OP but he isnt a full shilling, do what the other pp's have said and get him away asap

[Borisjohnsonshairbrush]

*him from

[DrManhattan]

I cant stand guys like this. If you tell him you aren't interested, he will send you a stream of nasty messages about how awful you are etc.
Run away as fast as you can. Don't get involved

[Folklore9074]

Block!!! Jeeze he’s a lot. Full on crazy vibes.

[Calmyertits]

Sounds like hes trying to love bomb you and get you to agree to let him move in, willing to bet he needs somewhere to live

[ElspethFlashman]

It's only been two days but it's been a day and a half longer than you should have stopped texting him

[bibliomania]

There is absolutely no way on God's green earth that this will ever develop into a positive relationship. He's trying to railroad you into a relationship - it's not like he's going to start respecting your boundaries if he succeeds, is it?

I think he may get nasty when you stop replying (because you really need to). If there's any chance of him turning up where you are, don't be afraid to call the police.