Aibu to think this is too full on?

[Luckystars1]

Hi,

I met this guy about 6 years ago through a friend, who met as a group of us a few times and texted a bit but nothing happened between us, I never met him alone but it was clear he liked me, it was very brief and short lived though. we lost contact anyway and in that time he met somebody else and got engaged.

Fast forward to now he sent me a friend request on Facebook and sent me a message saying long time no speak. He explained that he’s no longer with his partner, went into detail about their nasty breakup etc and started being rude about her which I thought was inappropriate as I’d not seen him in years and I didn’t know her.

Then out of no where he put to me ‘you’re the one that got away’ ‘I always wanted you, you know I did’. We texted back and forth a bit and this is where it went from 0 to 100.

I told him I now have a 2 year old DD. He near enough straight away said ‘I’ll come up this week and meet her’ and he keeps asking about seeing me everyday. He says ‘come and see your man’

He told me he’s got cats and I said I’d love a cat if my Landlord would allow one he said ‘I’ll buy you a kitten if you’re allowed a pet’
He’s then gone on to say he’s got a caravan holiday booked at the seaside that he had booked in with his ex but he’s said me and DD can come with him ‘if we are lucky’. I didn’t say anything back to this and the next day he brought it up when I never agreed. ‘don’t forget you’re both coming away with me in October’

He also says things like ‘tell you’re landlord I’m moving in, I’ll get my bags packed’ I’d love to wake up to you every morning’ ‘you’d be lucky to have me, I’d always go out my way to put a smile on your face’ ‘I know how to spoil a woman’

Also I mentioned about a fishing lake near mine as he said he likes fishing and he put ‘you’re really making me want to marry you’

He said last night ‘he’s not stopped smiling since he messaged me and that he can’t stop thinking about me and it’s the happiest he’s felt in a long time. He put last night ‘I hope you’re thinking about me before you go to bed’

Aibu to think this is too full on? I’ve not seen him in 6 years and even then he barely knew me as we only spoke briefly and we’ve texted for only 2 days and he is saying all this among other things.

[4PawsGood]

Does he know where you live?

[Aprilx]

He sounds like he could be dangerous to me. Why have you let it carry on this long?! 😳. You need to stop this right now.

[CupOfTPlease]

Jeez. The one he was engaged to had a lucky escape.

Cut all contact now. Don't let him know where you live and don't let your daughter meet him.

He sounds possessive and bloody weird!!

[Eeerrrr]

He is clearly lonely, upset, cannot bear living alone and hence desperate to replace his ex ASAP.

Why would you entertain this?

Block and move on.

[Dillydollydingdong]

He's a scary stalker. Quite dangerous. I hope he hasn't got your address.

[HelgaDownUnder]

Somewhere, there is a very relieved ex-fiance, enjoying her freedom.

[EnjoyingTheSilence]

@HelgaDownUnder was just thinking the same

[BillyIsMyBunny]

Yes this is ridiculously full on. Unfriend, block and forget about him!

[Unanananana]

All this in two days?

Have you replied to any of this or is it just a stream of his conciousness? Why haven't you blocked him? You haven't spoken to him for years so what loss would it be?

Finding it all hard to believe tbh. Sounds very far-fetched.

If its true, its beyond love-bombing. Its plain scary. I hope he doesn't know where you live.

[Just10moreminutesplease]

That’s menacingly full on —and he sounds like a knob—.

Run OP.

[AliceLivesHere]

He is basically trying to push you into a relationship with him.

Tell him you don't want a relationship with him (if that is true) and then decide if you wish to carrying on communicating with him. I wouldn't personally because he sounds controlling and sounds extreme.

[nimbuscloud]

All very odd ...

[tenlittlecygnets]

A bit too full on?? He sounds insane and desperate. And pushy.

You don't owe him anything. I'd block him ASAP.

[MsTSwift]

Sounds like the opening scenes of one of those Netflix thrillers and the audience are all shouting “noooo don’t do it you fool”

[Roodicus21]

He sounds very immature. Also like a predator. I'm sure you're not the first his used those lines on!

[BrownEyedGirl80]

I hope he doesn't know where you live

[MattDamon]

He sounds like he needs a new place to live and thinks you're it.

[StuffinThePuffin]

He sounds scary. Stay away from him

[Ponoka7]

He could be telling you what he thinks single mums want to hear because he wants to set you up as a fuck buddy (but you'll think that you are in a relationship), or he's an abuser and is reeling you in. Why posters are saying to ignore and not be truthful, I don't understand. Nor do I understand why you aren't putting him straight. Do that and then block him. He isn't a friend, he's up to no good, there's no reason to have contact with him. Learn some boundaries and assertiveness, if not for yourself, then for your DD's sake.

[airtar]

I'm afraid these all do seem like warning signs and red flags.

He sounds very intense - what looks like 'love bombing' at the beginning of an unhealthy/abusive relationship.

He seems like the sort of person who when describing his ex might refer to her as 'crazy' or a 'psycho'. To make out she's responsible for all that went wrong etc.

I rarely give advice on Mumsnet. In fact, I never do. But in this case I really would back away. I wouldn't be surprise if he became really persistent if you try to back off. Equally I wouldn't be surprised if he then says some nasty things to you too.

Right now there are so many warning signs which you clearly feel uncomfortable with otherwise, you wouldn't be asking on here.

Trust yourself. You know this doesn't feel right.

[Doublestar]

God, he sounds like my sisters new bf. He's love bombing you. RUN!

[Gah81]

Reading what he had written to you gave me the chills. Please don't give him your address. I agree with others who said block him.

[Standrewsschool]

“He's even scaring me, and I've never even had a message from him. “

Me too. Seriously creepy. Possibly you were flattered initially that he took time to find you and say how much you meant to him. However, this isn’t just love bombing, it’s a nuclear explosion! Don’t engage any further.

[postitgirl]

OP google 'love-bombing' - all the signs are there, this guy cannot be trusted and could in fact be dangerous. I'd block block block. Be careful.

[Doublestar]

Just want to add - for the sake of your dd PLEASE do not go any further in communicating with this nutter.