Hi,
I met this guy about 6 years ago through a friend, who met as a group of us a few times and texted a bit but nothing happened between us, I never met him alone but it was clear he liked me, it was very brief and short lived though. we lost contact anyway and in that time he met somebody else and got engaged.
Fast forward to now he sent me a friend request on Facebook and sent me a message saying long time no speak. He explained that he’s no longer with his partner, went into detail about their nasty breakup etc and started being rude about her which I thought was inappropriate as I’d not seen him in years and I didn’t know her.
Then out of no where he put to me ‘you’re the one that got away’ ‘I always wanted you, you know I did’. We texted back and forth a bit and this is where it went from 0 to 100.
I told him I now have a 2 year old DD. He near enough straight away said ‘I’ll come up this week and meet her’ and he keeps asking about seeing me everyday. He says ‘come and see your man’
He told me he’s got cats and I said I’d love a cat if my Landlord would allow one he said ‘I’ll buy you a kitten if you’re allowed a pet’
He’s then gone on to say he’s got a caravan holiday booked at the seaside that he had booked in with his ex but he’s said me and DD can come with him ‘if we are lucky’. I didn’t say anything back to this and the next day he brought it up when I never agreed. ‘don’t forget you’re both coming away with me in October’
He also says things like ‘tell you’re landlord I’m moving in, I’ll get my bags packed’ I’d love to wake up to you every morning’ ‘you’d be lucky to have me, I’d always go out my way to put a smile on your face’ ‘I know how to spoil a woman’
Also I mentioned about a fishing lake near mine as he said he likes fishing and he put ‘you’re really making me want to marry you’
He said last night ‘he’s not stopped smiling since he messaged me and that he can’t stop thinking about me and it’s the happiest he’s felt in a long time. He put last night ‘I hope you’re thinking about me before you go to bed’
Aibu to think this is too full on? I’ve not seen him in 6 years and even then he barely knew me as we only spoke briefly and we’ve texted for only 2 days and he is saying all this among other things.
MNHQ have commented on this thread
AIBU?
Aibu to think this is too full on?
Luckystars1 · 24/06/2021 04:12
Evening, OP,
So sorry to hear this is happening to you. It sounds really disturbing. We don't think we have much in terms of content about this ourselves (and it's probably something we should look at as it's so often something women unfortunately have to deal with).
We've done a bit of an internet search though and the information from the Suzy Lamplugh Trust looks really helpful (both for you and anyone reading going through this), so you might like to have a look here: www.suzylamplugh.org/pages/category/national-stalking-helpline.
There's also this page from Victim Support: www.victimsupport.org.uk/crime-info/types-crime/stalking-and-harassment/.
Do let us know how you get on. 
Please PLEASE keep everything and log it with the police if you can. Similar happened to me about 18 years ago now, and he went from one sided nice-guy style lovebombing to threats very very quickly. Phoned me and left ranting voicemails, then crying voicemails, then back to angry ranting again. I'd led him on, I owed him, how could I do this, how could I ruin his life, we were meant to be, everything.
DH (boyfriend at the time) convinced me to go to the police and they took it seriously, I filled out everything for a first count of harassment, and they contacted him to tell him to basically stop or they'd take it further. I had one more message a week later I think, to say sorry and that he'd leave me alone now because clearly that's what I wanted 
. I didn't report that one but would have if he'd kept going. He didn't. That was it. I've not heard a thing in 18 years and I hope he dropped off the planet, if I'm honest.
Reporting it might make you feel you've got some power back, and some control over this. Don't let him convince you that you've caused ANY of this. You haven't. Your alarm bells have been ringing from day one because he's the one in the wrong. Hope you're ok, OP.
Time to report him now OP.
"Ive told you I don't want to stay in touch so any further messages will be considered harassment and I will report them to the police. I'm sure you don't want that so please respect my wishes to have no further contact at all."
Then follow through if you hear back at all. Which I'm sorry to say you will - he'll send a 'but of you just give me a chance' etc message.
He's a creep OP and the fact he constantly mentions your little girl makes me sick to my stomach.
Men like him are predators. Keep your daughter safe.
Call the Suzy Lamplugh Trust tomorrow - they are incredible and so supportive. I found them invaluable when I was being stalked. Life changing level of supportive.
https://www.suzylamplugh.org
Don't be put off by words like 'stalking' and wonder if you don't meet the threshold somehow - once you explain the content, frequency and unwanted nature of the messages plus the fact you have a child and she is mentioned by the person frequently, you'll be taken seriously.
It's so incredibly unsettling to be on the receiving end of this. You must take it seriously and then also do some work on your boundaries to stop this happening again. Men like him are dangerous, not just for women but their children too.
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That must have been so scary and disturbing. If you feel up to it, I would definitely suggest reporting it to the police. Look after yourself, OP.
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