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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Aibu to think this is too full on?

469 replies

Luckystars1 · 24/06/2021 04:12

Hi,

I met this guy about 6 years ago through a friend, who met as a group of us a few times and texted a bit but nothing happened between us, I never met him alone but it was clear he liked me, it was very brief and short lived though. we lost contact anyway and in that time he met somebody else and got engaged.

Fast forward to now he sent me a friend request on Facebook and sent me a message saying long time no speak. He explained that he’s no longer with his partner, went into detail about their nasty breakup etc and started being rude about her which I thought was inappropriate as I’d not seen him in years and I didn’t know her.

Then out of no where he put to me ‘you’re the one that got away’ ‘I always wanted you, you know I did’. We texted back and forth a bit and this is where it went from 0 to 100.

I told him I now have a 2 year old DD. He near enough straight away said ‘I’ll come up this week and meet her’ and he keeps asking about seeing me everyday. He says ‘come and see your man’

He told me he’s got cats and I said I’d love a cat if my Landlord would allow one he said ‘I’ll buy you a kitten if you’re allowed a pet’
He’s then gone on to say he’s got a caravan holiday booked at the seaside that he had booked in with his ex but he’s said me and DD can come with him ‘if we are lucky’. I didn’t say anything back to this and the next day he brought it up when I never agreed. ‘don’t forget you’re both coming away with me in October’

He also says things like ‘tell you’re landlord I’m moving in, I’ll get my bags packed’ I’d love to wake up to you every morning’ ‘you’d be lucky to have me, I’d always go out my way to put a smile on your face’ ‘I know how to spoil a woman’

Also I mentioned about a fishing lake near mine as he said he likes fishing and he put ‘you’re really making me want to marry you’

He said last night ‘he’s not stopped smiling since he messaged me and that he can’t stop thinking about me and it’s the happiest he’s felt in a long time. He put last night ‘I hope you’re thinking about me before you go to bed’

Aibu to think this is too full on? I’ve not seen him in 6 years and even then he barely knew me as we only spoke briefly and we’ve texted for only 2 days and he is saying all this among other things.

OP posts:
TimeIhadaNameChange · 26/06/2021 09:53

Please tell your mutual friend. Don't let them become a flying monkey.

Flowers500 · 26/06/2021 11:38

Huge huge congrats on standing up for yourself, want to give you a hug. Stay strong and learn from this!

Elys3 · 26/06/2021 15:15

What Chargingbuck said. Well done, just keep those messages and continue to block him. Don’t respond.

Still1nLove · 26/06/2021 15:22

Listen to him, he is telling you who he is. He doesn’t respect your boundaries, he loves the idea of you and what he perceives a relationship with you would be like.
What was your response to his last message?

NeedNewKnees · 26/06/2021 16:13

Good on you, OP, for enforcing your boundaries! Screenshots in case you need them, and block that butthead.

I hope you have a great butthead-free weekend.

browneyes77 · 26/06/2021 22:16

Agree with everyone else.

IGNORE & BLOCK

As others have said keep any messages for evidence, as this constant messaging, when you’ve made it clear to him you’re not interested, is harassment.

Also, is there anyone outside of MN that you can discuss this with? I think it would be a good idea to make a close friend aware of what’s happening with this guy, just so you have that support if he persists.

AllGirlsMum · 26/06/2021 23:52

YANBU, he sounds seriously creepy, block and move on!

Luckystars1 · 27/06/2021 18:07

Ok so he keeps finding ways to contact me. Starting to freak out.

‘If you let me in, you’d be very lucky to have such a sexy, nice guy in your life’ ‘if we arrange something though and you ever let me down I’ll bury you in your own garden’ with laughing emoji.....

Honestly starting to get really concerned now about his intentions, how can anybody this it’s acceptable to say things like that to someone?

OP posts:
Luckystars1 · 27/06/2021 18:10

Not to mention ‘if you give me a chance, we’d be together by October and I’d be taking you and your little one away’

Honestly.

OP posts:
CallmeHendricks · 27/06/2021 18:12

Jesus. This is the stuff horror films are made from.

iloverock · 27/06/2021 18:12

I think I'd be considering calling the police. Don't respond to him at all

Standrewsschool · 27/06/2021 18:21

I think it’s time to call 101 and to get their advice. Screenshot every message.

How is he contacting you?

acatcalledjohn · 27/06/2021 18:25

‘if we arrange something though and you ever let me down I’ll bury you in your own garden’

I'd go to the police with this.

He sounds like a wannabe Fred West.

peachyandkeen · 27/06/2021 18:25

Yes I strongly agree with other posters. Please contact the police and report him. He is making you feel unsafe and you have a child.

How did he contact you this time?

Isthisit22 · 27/06/2021 18:26

I'd try one last message-
if you contact me again I will contact the police. You are harassing me.
Then if (when) he does, ring 101 and report. They have been tightening up on harassment/stalking recently.

acatcalledjohn · 27/06/2021 18:27

No, no more chances. He's threatened death. No more messages, just the police.

rooarsome · 27/06/2021 18:32

Please report him OP. This is not ok.
Thanks

PewdiePug · 27/06/2021 18:43

OP I have been on Mumsnet for years but have only posted once or twice, however I feel compelled to after reading your updates.
I work for the police, taking 999/101 calls. PLEASE report this to your local police, this will be taken seriously. I don't want to worry you but this sounds like it could possibly turn nasty very quickly, and you need to safeguard yourself and your DD.

Luckystars1 · 27/06/2021 18:47

Absolutely. And the way he tried to play it down with a laughing emoji like it was funny. Making me feel on edge. I’m so glad he doesn’t know the exact location of where I live, very unsettling

OP posts:
ApolloandDaphne · 27/06/2021 18:52

This is becoming very chilling.

Trudij123 · 27/06/2021 18:57

Honestly don’t get why people do this.

Hope you’re ok @Luckystars1 I’m glad you’re keeping all the messages etc

SisterMonicaJoansHabit · 27/06/2021 18:58

One simple message back - please stop contacting me now. I will report this to the police if you do not cease to attempt to communicate with me.

Then the moment he inevitably replies, log the entire thing with 101.

Luckystars1 · 27/06/2021 18:59

@PewdiePug

Yes, I will do. Thank you. I actually feel really sick and on edge after reading that message.

OP posts:
PurpleyBlue · 27/06/2021 19:00

I wouldn't reply, the police should be able to advise you. Keep safe Flowers

missmarplesapprentice · 27/06/2021 19:02

Hi OP, you’re doing the right thing by keeping messages but I would also consider contacting the non emergency police number or even their online chat facility if they have one. The messages are escalating and they will be able to advise and offer help. You won’t be wasting their time, they will take you seriously. These messages are chilling and it’s better to be safe than sorry.