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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Aibu to think this is too full on?

469 replies

Luckystars1 · 24/06/2021 04:12

Hi,

I met this guy about 6 years ago through a friend, who met as a group of us a few times and texted a bit but nothing happened between us, I never met him alone but it was clear he liked me, it was very brief and short lived though. we lost contact anyway and in that time he met somebody else and got engaged.

Fast forward to now he sent me a friend request on Facebook and sent me a message saying long time no speak. He explained that he’s no longer with his partner, went into detail about their nasty breakup etc and started being rude about her which I thought was inappropriate as I’d not seen him in years and I didn’t know her.

Then out of no where he put to me ‘you’re the one that got away’ ‘I always wanted you, you know I did’. We texted back and forth a bit and this is where it went from 0 to 100.

I told him I now have a 2 year old DD. He near enough straight away said ‘I’ll come up this week and meet her’ and he keeps asking about seeing me everyday. He says ‘come and see your man’

He told me he’s got cats and I said I’d love a cat if my Landlord would allow one he said ‘I’ll buy you a kitten if you’re allowed a pet’
He’s then gone on to say he’s got a caravan holiday booked at the seaside that he had booked in with his ex but he’s said me and DD can come with him ‘if we are lucky’. I didn’t say anything back to this and the next day he brought it up when I never agreed. ‘don’t forget you’re both coming away with me in October’

He also says things like ‘tell you’re landlord I’m moving in, I’ll get my bags packed’ I’d love to wake up to you every morning’ ‘you’d be lucky to have me, I’d always go out my way to put a smile on your face’ ‘I know how to spoil a woman’

Also I mentioned about a fishing lake near mine as he said he likes fishing and he put ‘you’re really making me want to marry you’

He said last night ‘he’s not stopped smiling since he messaged me and that he can’t stop thinking about me and it’s the happiest he’s felt in a long time. He put last night ‘I hope you’re thinking about me before you go to bed’

Aibu to think this is too full on? I’ve not seen him in 6 years and even then he barely knew me as we only spoke briefly and we’ve texted for only 2 days and he is saying all this among other things.

OP posts:
EmmaJR1 · 24/06/2021 14:32

I would run far and fast. Sounds like a right weirdo!

Smallredclip · 24/06/2021 14:33

So unanimous!

AquaTorfana · 24/06/2021 14:39

Block.

His number. His Facebook. Everything.

He sounds terrifying.

LowlandLucky · 24/06/2021 14:55

Whoa, take a break from FB after you have told him things are moving too fast and that you will be in touch if and when you feel you want to take things further. You have a child to protect, so don't feel bad about telling him to back off.

Theworldisquiethere · 24/06/2021 14:55

You’re only 23 now and haven’t seen him for years? So him being that much older means that he considers you his ‘one that got away’ despite the fact that when he knew you he was an adult and you were a teenager. That’s super creepy, added on to all the rest of his behaviour and his obsession with meeting your toddler…

Hawkins001 · 24/06/2021 14:58

Very unusual,

Higgeldypiggeldy35 · 24/06/2021 15:00

Definitely red flags flying all over the place. Love bombing, no boundaries, slagging off his ex, far too intense, emotional blackmail.....block block block

CorianderBee · 24/06/2021 15:04

He... isn't right in the head. Keep yourself and especially your child away from him.

Luckystars1 · 24/06/2021 15:20

Yeah that’s right, so I was 17 he will of been 21 when I first met him. I remember him putting his arm around me a bit without asking me which made me feel uncomfortable back then. We quickly last contact after all that. He has a younger brother who is closer to my age who my friend was seeing at the time but was short lived.

OP posts:
Luckystars1 · 24/06/2021 15:26

@Theworldisquiethere

OP posts:
ChargingBuck · 24/06/2021 15:31

@Luckystars1

Yeah that’s right, so I was 17 he will of been 21 when I first met him. I remember him putting his arm around me a bit without asking me which made me feel uncomfortable back then. We quickly last contact after all that. He has a younger brother who is closer to my age who my friend was seeing at the time but was short lived.
Are you still telling us more unsavoury details about this man because you're still thinking about him & haven't dealt with him yet?

FFS.
Send one of the succinct "go away now" messages upthread, then block.

& please, please, when you start thinking about him again, have a read of the 7-point plan I wrote upthread.

I'm not saying I know everything & you should do everything I tell you.
But I AM saying that you'll feel a lot stronger & more capable if you spend more time thinking about some of the resources I linked in that post than thinking about unsuitable men.

And I am ALSO saying that I think you will regret it if you don't block this awful man TODAY.

Unanananana · 24/06/2021 15:53

Why haven't you blocked him yet?? The mind boggles.

edgeware · 24/06/2021 16:27

So he was interested in you when you were a child and seems especially keen now he knows you have a child? Hmm. There are names for these people you know.

Maddox33 · 24/06/2021 16:28

Please, please block this man. You're the same as my DD and I'd give her the same advice if she was being pursued by such a creep. Flowers, kittens, fishing and marriage? A big round FUCK OFF should do it and don't engage with him ever again. He's a potential stalker. Be careful and think of your child.

CarnationCat · 24/06/2021 16:53

Block on everything.

He is an absolute creep.

Make sure you're extra vigilant about your and your DD's safety. I wouldn't be surprised if he turned up at your house. If he does anything like this, report to the police straightaway.

Loudestcat14 · 24/06/2021 17:15

Bloody hell, when I read your post I assumed you'd been messaging for a few weeks now but it's TWO DAYS. The stuff he's coming out with is insane and frightening, frankly. Please, please listen to what people are saying and block him now.

Member869894 · 24/06/2021 17:23

just say 'hi - I've been looking at our messages and dont think you are for me. I wish you well' . Then BLOCK..

I'ts a bit worrying that you even have to ask if this is normal. It isn't.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 24/06/2021 17:23

Please up your facebook privacy and other social media etc and block him on all because he can find out a lot more about you via that.

AryaStarkWolf · 24/06/2021 17:26

Ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun far far away

PS. I bet his ex wasn't the crazy one

Newkitchen123 · 24/06/2021 17:39

@edgeware

So he was interested in you when you were a child and seems especially keen now he knows you have a child? Hmm. There are names for these people you know.
As much as he's coming across as a weirdo 17 and 21 is hardly unusual. I had this gap at this age. I am now pushing 50 and bumped into him the other day and had a perfectly normal chat with him. There's a lot of things wrong with this man though. Run as fast as you can
OlivaX · 24/06/2021 17:39

Run for the hills!

toocold54 · 24/06/2021 17:43

It sounds like his ex has got a new partner so he’s trying to out do her to make her jealous.

EishetChayil · 24/06/2021 17:51

Delete and block, then put an ad in his local paper warning the women of the area off him.

Seriously, there should be a national network where women can report weirdos like this.

me4real · 24/06/2021 17:54

Creepy. Too pushy. Bin and block.

ihtwsf · 24/06/2021 17:59

I have no idea why the OP hasn't binned and blocked yet. It's not even borderline too much or borderline creepy or open to generous interpretation of his intentions - it's full on completely and utterly crazy and it should be stopped immediately.

Do not make the mistake of letting this continue because it perhaps makes you feel good to get attention from someone like this. All of this is fake. He needs somewhere to live. He will do anything to get that place to live. End of.