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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DD wants boob Job

182 replies

Neapolitanicecream · 23/06/2021 21:51

DD is 19 years old, very upset at being flat chested and is wanting implants. She is pretty but is only focusing on this issue she can’t afford it anyway, but is thinking of a loan cries about it. Any advice WWYD ?

OP posts:
namcybotwinbloom · 24/06/2021 20:54

@tallduckandhandsome

Yes I am ok thank you for asking.
My implants are still in.

It was very hard though. At one point they thought one the infected one needed removing. If that happens then they can't replace for six months.

Thankfully it all turned out ok but for me one looks different. No one else can tell but I can. That has been the bane of my life ever since. Hence I want them done again but knowing the risk I literally annoy go through it again.

namcybotwinbloom · 24/06/2021 20:55

@tallduckandhandsome literally every day I'm on the mirror looking so from one complex to another

CoopsMalloops · 24/06/2021 21:13

Please read up on Breast Implant illness before your DD decides. I have had mine for 9 years and I need them out of my body ASAP.
Look into fat transfer instead of having toxic bags inside her body.

Hanhan99 · 24/06/2021 21:16

I am pretty sure OP won’t read any of this..

GerryManderson · 24/06/2021 23:25

@theleafandnotthetree I'm so sorry I caused you upset with my comment, I really didn't mean to whatsoever. I was just trying to say that OP's daughter might want to wait a few years in case her natural body develops which is what happened to me. So sorry I offended you and anyone else who rread my comment. I will make this my last post on MN as all I seem to do is offend people here. Sorry again.

theleafandnotthetree · 24/06/2021 23:38

[quote GerryManderson]@theleafandnotthetree I'm so sorry I caused you upset with my comment, I really didn't mean to whatsoever. I was just trying to say that OP's daughter might want to wait a few years in case her natural body develops which is what happened to me. So sorry I offended you and anyone else who rread my comment. I will make this my last post on MN as all I seem to do is offend people here. Sorry again.[/quote]
Oh gosh, you neither offended nor upset me my dear, please don't go! We ALL are guilty of feeding into narrow notions of femininity, womanliness etc with no malice intended. You often, for example, hear people on threads discussing weight, curves etc speak about very slim women in a way which can be quite unintentiinally derogatory (boney, skinny, nothing to grab hold of, etc.). We're good Smile

FrankButchersDickieBow · 24/06/2021 23:43

Rather sad that your opening statement describes her as 'pretty'. As though well she looks good. That's what you think counts then?

Wonder where she got the idea that appearances are more important than what's inside?

Quaggars · 24/06/2021 23:44

Make sure she knows about any risks, but at the end of the day at 19 she's an adult and it's completely up to her, not really anything you can do.
Her body, her life.

pinkgin85 · 24/06/2021 23:47

It's a tough one...I have always been small chested, but back when I was her age social media wasn't a thing and I never minded it, plus push up bras are fine for appearances under clothes. But now I'm in my mid 30s I'm really happy about my small A/B cups because no sagging or back issues and I can still go bra less. I don't know what I would do if I were going through it all now though

DdraigGoch · 25/06/2021 01:54

I would say that 19 is too soon for drastic measures. Her body is still developing and her breasts may yet grow a little further. Not only that, her post-pubescent body will still be very new to her and it would be worth her giving it time to get more used to it.

If she still wants surgery, she shouldn't rush in. Instead she should spend time consulting a number of different surgeons and then have a cooling off period before committing.

DdraigGoch · 25/06/2021 01:55

@FrankButchersDickieBow

Rather sad that your opening statement describes her as 'pretty'. As though well she looks good. That's what you think counts then?

Wonder where she got the idea that appearances are more important than what's inside?

From society.
Chunkymenrock · 25/06/2021 02:01

Give up guys, op has long gone. Suspicious they were a troll wanting to salivate over the subject. Sad

DoNotEat · 25/06/2021 03:40

@Clappingforjoy

If its making her that miserable then she should go for it. She will end up doing it at some point anyway
God no. Loads of people have them done and regret it. I'd be getting her some counselling and working on self esteem.

19 year old having implants means body isn't even fully developed, replacements every 10 years, scarring.
I'd be getting her to watch the program Amy Child's did where she talks about her surgery and how much she regrets all if it.

chillibeansauce · 25/06/2021 06:16

I was also very flat chested but waited until I was in my mid thirties before having a boob job. The operation transformed my body shape in a very positive (and natural looking) way. I should have had them done years before. Support her OP and make sure she does lots of research and goes to a reputable clinic.

chillibeansauce · 25/06/2021 06:18

Ps I had mine inserted under the muscle, which is super painful in recovery, but looks a lot more natural. I managed to breast feed my child and they still look amazing 10 years on.

philosopherspebble · 25/06/2021 06:24

@YukoandHiro

Tell her to wait. I was an A cup til I was 21 and matured late to a C.

If she feels the same at 23 make sure she does her research on clinics carefully

This. I didn’t have much to speak of at 19. Was a C cup by my late 20s (and still slim). Then even bigger after having a baby. Our bodies change.
justanotherneighinparadise · 25/06/2021 06:37

Get her to watch some episodes of Botched so she understands that they’ll need renewing every X amount of years and the importance of finding an excellent surgeon just not the surgeon she can afford.

TheReluctantPhoenix · 25/06/2021 07:16

I would definitely not support it.

Because, aside from cost and medical risk, what comes next? People have imperfections (if you can even call it that), and some spend their whole lives ‘fixing’ them.

Talk to her about valuing herself, and that worthwhile men will not be measuring her bust.

superspreader10kids · 25/06/2021 07:20

Its fine for people to say that she should be interested in other things but at 19 if thats all she's focused on then that ain't gonna change.... May as well help her get it done for the peace and quiet.

theleafandnotthetree · 25/06/2021 09:04

@superspreader10kids

Its fine for people to say that she should be interested in other things but at 19 if thats all she's focused on then that ain't gonna change.... May as well help her get it done for the peace and quiet.
Yeah, stop her nattering on and on by getting her to a surgeon. I'm no mother of the year but Jesus.....
Divineswirls · 25/06/2021 09:30

If she's tall and slim she'll get lots of modelling jobs being flat chested so should give that a go first.

If that's not an option then yes a boob job is the way forward if it's making her so unhappy.

Although lots of girls will be wearing padded bras and chicken fillet inserts who are equally as flat as her.

CounsellorTroi · 25/06/2021 10:51

@Quaggars

Make sure she knows about any risks, but at the end of the day at 19 she's an adult and it's completely up to her, not really anything you can do. Her body, her life.
Legally she's an adult, but how many times have I read on here that the adolescent brain isn't fully developed until the mid 20s?
skybluee · 25/06/2021 14:30

When I was in high school I very much wanted a boob job and I'm now so so glad I didn't get one. As I got older I simply accepted my shape and now am ultra happy with it, wouldn't change anything about it or make my boobs bigger even if I had the choice now. I think it was pressure from the conversations I was around/constant talk about small boobs being undesirable, etc. Everyone was obsessed with wanting bigger boobs. As an adult I don't have this mindset at all.

Like other people in the thread I find it really sad society has pushed people to this. If you're healthy that's what matters and should be celebrating - healthy boobs - not criticising the shape, size etc.

I think being a teenager is too young to have a life changing operation like that.

I don't really agree with surgery for purely cosmetic reasons. There just is too much risk. Reconstructive is different.

tillytoodles1 · 26/06/2021 22:52

My daughter had one as an 18th birthday present from us.

Fairdosmun · 26/06/2021 23:15

@tillytoodles1

My daughter had one as an 18th birthday present from us.
Parenting fail