DD wants boob Job

[Neapolitanicecream]

DD is 19 years old, very upset at being flat chested and is wanting implants. She is pretty but is only focusing on this issue she can’t afford it anyway, but is thinking of a loan cries about it. Any advice WWYD ?

I would have jumped at the chance at that age. I didn't have boobs really until I was about 25 and spent years feeling like crap about it. If I had the time again they would be done life is so short!!

I was flat-chested as a teenager and it did make me miserable, but like a few PPs I grew to like my figure at university. I remember the number of arsehole comments I’d get from men when still at school - the awful entitlement! I shudder to think what it’s like for teenagers online, now.

Going on the pill made my breasts a little bigger. Please let your daughter know that this will not stop her from being sexy, sought-after and admired- she can learn to make it part of her look. Perhaps go for a proper bra fitting? It makes a big difference - 28 back rather than 32, for example.

If she going to do it. Just make sure she doesn’t get them too big! I have considered having a reduction before.

It’s so sad how society (men) puts so much pressure on women for having boobs that are too small or even too big!

@Funfortheroad I have to agree. A school mum "confided" in me that she'd had a boob job, obviously not realising she'd been the talk of the playground since she'd had it done.

Not necessarily in a bad way, some thought it was good for her, some wondered why etc, for some it was just an opener to a discussion on cosmetic surgery in general but people had DEFINITELY noticed, they just hadn't told her they had.

Each to their own, but every surgery comes with a risk and I think that people assume "cosmetic" surgery just isn't the same as any other operation where they slice your body open. It is.

Agree this thread is massively depressing - “yay choice!” - why are people cheering this on rather than encouraging a young woman to focus on improving her self-esteem? Talk about turkeys voting for Christmas.

I waited till after children, in my 30s.

I was always upset at being flat chested but I also worried about breastfeeding. After breastfeeding DC2 and sure I didn't want any more children, I waited a year. They remained flaps of skin, DH has bigger moobs. In my case, with implants I still don't fully fill an A cup bra. You couldn't tell, but I gained a sense of femininity and confidence which is priceless.

Life is too short to be miserable. It's not as vain or shallow as people make it out to be. DH was strongly against it then... but reaps most of the benefits now! I always wanted to feel like a normal woman and not a freak.

It's been good so far, 5 years on. I hope they last till menopause fingers crossed, after which I'll remove them if needs be. I'm saving up for that.

I had a breast enlargement when I was 27, I'm now 46, I've exclusively breastfed two children to natural term, and had no problems at all with my implants.

Just wanted to offset the naysayers on the thread, but I would agree that some counseling would probably be helpful, however if she is completely flat like I was, then an enlargement might change her life as much as my surgery did.

Literally cannot believe the women on here talking about girls wanting bigger boobs to be 'sexy'.

Some people are happy with smaller boobs, maybe they suit their frame, maybe it's something they haven't thought about.

Some people find their lack of breast upsetting and with it being 2021 want to do something about it.

I wanted mine done ever since it was apparent they were not going to make an appearance. I waited until I was 21 but actually I think i probably should have got them done when I wanted them at 18. I don't feel any differently now to I did then. I love them and it's a total myth that they 'need redoing every 10 years' or whatever.

I am by no means sexy. I had them done when I was 21 and the first person to see them was when I was 24 and I went on to marry him. They are a small C cup and look completely natural. I find it so insulting when women who either have ample boobs or who have never had issues with their boobs weigh in on conversations like this.

I would support your daughter and make sure she goes to the best possible place.

There are risks involved, she'll need to be financially secure throughout her life to replace them when needed. I wouldn't want her to go abroad for the procedure, do lots of homework on her surgeon especially around after care if they encapsulate.
A Tip if going ahead - have them placed under the muscle for a more natural look.

God. Show her the litigation there has been on breast implants. With pictures. Make her watch the interviews. Especially about the implants that failed during flights and the others where the wring kind of implant material was used and it posioned thenwkmen slowly. Remind her that those women too thought they had done the research and found a good surgeon.

Talk to her about how breastfeeding physically works, explain what mastitis is and how having carved up her breasts will not be helpful if she becomes a mother.

Amazed by the number on people supporting unnecessary surgery for the vanity/insecurity of someone who is barely an adult. Anaesthetic carries risks, any surgery can go wrong, fake boobs and scars are not as attractive as healthy small breasts.

@Crimblecrumble1990 of course women with bigger boobs may not completely understand your situation from the same point of view but if you post on a forum surely we can give our advice and opinions?? No one is saying it’s not important just that it should be properly considered.

Why does she attach so much value to breasts? Surely she must have something else in her life to focus on than a secondary sexual characteristic.

I agree. She needs to work on her self esteem.

I think some people should switch off 'botched' and not comment unless they have first hand experience.

Of course your DD will be able to breastfeed after a breast augmentation. These are things she can discuss at a consultation.

I am 36. From 16 - 24 I would cry my eyes out that I couldn’t afford to do it. From 24 - 34 I got obsessed with being the lowest weight possible so it wouldn’t matter that I was flat chested and couldn’t afford a boob job because I had abs and was the muscly sporty one 🤦🏼‍♀️. A round of CBT and medication for BDD later (that I am not on anymore) I’m glad I didn’t do it. I’m not sure why I’m writing this, other than to say she might not actually go through with it in the end and if she has other body image issues it might be worth exploring CBT, it did wonders for me. Saying that if they announced a 100% safe way of increasing cup size by 2 that would last forever, I probably would do it - so I guess you’re never free 😞 wishing you both all the best x

I am a bare 34B ( could probably wear an A) AND am a real pear shape so most definitely not in proportion but on a good day and in the right clothes I feel damn sexy thank you very much. Just looking around the women I know, sexiness is only rarely to do with having X type figure or X type face. It's about zest for life, energy, fun, carrying yourself confidently and frankly, looking like you'd be good in bed.

I would caveat my support with waiting until at least 21 though. I had mine when 26. Don’t regret it but think 19 would have been too young, it is quite an emotional roller coaster.

I’d support her, help to find a very good surgeon and pray she didn’t go too big. I’d try and put her off as much as possible though!

It’s a huge, life changing decision. They’ll need to be ‘redone’ every few years, they may go hard, it’s not cheap! Are they even in fashion anymore? Most people seem to regret getting them. Why does she want them, could she wait just a couple of years…. If she gets fed up of them, they’ll need to be removed and that brings its own problems.

I’ve a friend that had the op at age 21, she didn’t research the first surgeon and he put in huge implants and she developed capsular contracture. She had another op with a very good surgeon at around age 32. She’s 45 now and thinks she may need a new pair before age 50, but really doesn’t want to go through another op.
Saying that, she doesn’t regret the op as they give her so much more confidence.

It is a lot about being sexually appealing though, isn’t it? It’s why I feel devalued and slightly freakish (as a kind PP said about her figure before its surgical enhancements) with my extremely small breasts. I feel other women judge me as lesser, and men can sneer. It’s like the “ugly” judgement which is always used to shut women up. We are judged on our sex appeal; it bleeds over into everything else too.

This could be regretted. The breasts are a major erogenous zone and if she is not sexually active yet she might not realize that. Breast surgery can interfere with sensitivity and also affect breastfeeding. Also, this kind of preoccupation with physical appearance is troubling. I would not be paying for this, and would make sure she thinks about it for a very, very long time and after getting full information.

Make sure she knows that it’s not as simple as just having a boob job. They need surgery again to replace the silicone (no expert) I believe. As others have mentioned it can effect other things and cause side effects and Illnesses. At 19 I think it’s way to young to make such a big decision like that. Hopefully when she is older she can see that she can be happy and confident without having bigger boobs.

@fretnot unfortunately this is very true and so sad! But it also happens when you have boobs.. I am 32ff and constantly get judgey stares from men and women who think I’m trying to steal their men.

Having a boob job won’t solve this, if anything it will add to the problem by reinforcing it. I think 19 is too young. As other posters have said maybe she should have counciling first

I would support her but suggest that she does her research first, and maybe waits for a bit to see her body changes anymore. Life is too short to feel shit about the way you look, and if she genuinely believes it will make her happier then I would support it. I don't think it's about appearing sexy to men but it's probably more to do with confidence and femininity. I'm 36 and I don't have boobs, and I would be lying if I said that it has never bothered me. I have definitely felt like I'm less of a woman because I'm pretty flat chested, but it's never bothered me enough for me to want surgery. However, if someone is utterly consumed by this and feels that the only way to be happy is to have surgery then I'd say go for it, if they have the finances to do it safely.

If she's already pretty then what is the urgency with the boobs, especially if she can't afford it yet? No problem with the boob job, but I think it's a big decision at 19. She should wait until she saves enough money and that will also give her some time to confirm this is what she wants.

Also, there is so much focus nowadays on the body size, but it's often forgotten that other things such as speaking voice, posture and choice of clothes can massively change the perception of beauty. So there are other ways for your daughter to improve her look - if that's what she is worrying about - before jumping into the surgery.

@fretnot

It is a lot about being sexually appealing though, isn’t it? It’s why I feel devalued and slightly freakish (as a kind PP said about her figure before its surgical enhancements) with my extremely small breasts. I feel other women judge me as lesser, and men can sneer. It’s like the “ugly” judgement which is always used to shut women up. We are judged on our sex appeal; it bleeds over into everything else too.

Fuck 'em I say, the judgey women and the sneering men. Anyone who would be that rude is undeserving of consideration. I actually think smaller boobs are really sexy, especially as you get older and don't have the same sagging issues as others might. Not having to/not wearing a bra is very sexy with the right clothes. Think Lupita Nyong'o, Keira Knightley, Gwyneth Paltrow, Natalie Portman, Kate Moss....

@Whattheactualfk

Boob jobs aren't benign, they carry risks and side effects - some women can't breastfeed and it's harder to detect breast cancer with implants. You need a GA so there's a small risk of death and other complications from anaesthetic. The operation could go wrong and cause deformity. She could bleed post op, have a wound infection or a blood clot.

Nowadays most boob jobs include implants placed under the pectoral muscle and below the breast glandular tissue, so they do not interfere with mammograms at all. Submuscular implants also should not affect breastfeeding. However, implants placed over the muscle ('subglandular') do require a special mammogram technique and are more likely to interfere with breastfeeding.

Complications from GA for elective breast surgery are vanishingly rare. It certainly is true that complications can arise with the breast augmentation though, and it's wise to be aware of these.