DD wants boob Job

[Neapolitanicecream]

DD is 19 years old, very upset at being flat chested and is wanting implants. She is pretty but is only focusing on this issue she can’t afford it anyway, but is thinking of a loan cries about it. Any advice WWYD ?

@Neapolitanicecream

DD is 19 years old, very upset at being flat chested and is wanting implants. She is pretty but is only focusing on this issue she can’t afford it anyway, but is thinking of a loan cries about it. Any advice WWYD ?

But at a guess she's in proportion to her body shape and size, they suit her, and therefore she is the only one noticing or caring (other than the occasional misogynistic/abusive bloke who she doesn't want in her life anyway and who would make shitty comments on her body whatever she looked like).

Clothes hang nicely on her, she doesn't have health problems or back pain. Implants require replacement in future which means further surgeries and costs. They also make cancer screening more difficult.

If she hates herself she'll still hate herself afterwards - she'll just modify the focus and have negative thoughts about people knowing she's had surgery, making comments, being stared at, judged because some people do judge openly on this. If she has poor self-esteem would she cope with random strangers making comments on her "fake" body? I've seen it happen a lot.

Dealing with radical change to her body isn't easy even if it's a wanted change. Scars are permanent, they don't always heal neatly and can be itchy and uncomfortable long term. Surgery can be traumatic.

These are all factors that she needs to weigh up. Not just risks and costs of surgery.

Surgery isn't a magic fix for self-esteem issues. They need to be addressed first otherwise they'll follow her. My advice is to support her to address them before pouring energy and resources into surgery.

I would discourage it. I was similar as a teenager and did lots of research but I had no money and by my mid 20s I stopped caring so much about it. I think as a teenager, your body changes so much so she'll naturally be very body conscious. It's normal but major surgery like that should be the last resort. A lot of them go really wrong, she risks being left in pain or deformed. Even if it all goes well, she then needs to have them replaced mid 30s. That's another major surgery, another cost, more risk etc etc. Also remind her 1 in 8 women get breast cancer, it's really not a good idea to mess with your body in such a drastic way.

Just remind her that you only regret what you don’t do in life. Hope she is happy once she has the surgery

Three of my DD'S friends have had implants. They waited until they were in their 20's. Two have breastfed without any issues. I'd support her to do research, but work on her self esteem as well. It could give her a good work ethic and focus her saving.
My DD has said that she might in the future, for now she wears Primark maximise bras.

@Lotsolove

Just remind her that you only regret what you don’t do in life. Hope she is happy once she has the surgery

That’s a nice phrase but not really true is it! Lots of people regret lots of choices they’ve made in their lives!

@NameyNameyNameChangey

If she wants it, it's her body and her choice.

Of course it is ultimately her decision. But choices don't occur in a vacuum and do have consequences.

Assuming capacity, we are all free to make our own decisions whether they are considered wise or not, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't offer support to people we love to explore why they feel driven to something so extreme and see what their alternatives to improve their quality of life may be. When someone is distressed it can be difficult to do those things alone.

Tell her to wait. I was an A cup til I was 21 and matured late to a C.

If she feels the same at 23 make sure she does her research on clinics carefully

@Lotsolove

Just remind her that you only regret what you don’t do in life. Hope she is happy once she has the surgery

That's not remotely true though.

I had mine at 19, I was extremely small chested and had a small waist but had a large lower half and was unevenly balanced. It was the best thing ever for my self confidence and my clothes looked how they’re supposed to look.

At 36 hardly anyone knows I’ve had it done. I look completely normal and for me it was never oh look at me, quite the opposite I just wanted to blend in.

My mum was very supportive and we visited a few surgeons until we found the right one. Let her do it and support her through it. it really can be miserable & I don’t know anyone who has ever regretted it.

@schoolsoutforever

I have and always had small breasts. I was very self conscious when young, maybe 15-20, due to a couple of asshole comments, but by the time I was in my early twenties I had reached a peace with it and rarely have I thought about it since. Now I am glad that I didn’t change my body - I can wear pretty much anything and feel comfortable and I genuinely am glad that they are smaller now. I would second the person who said counselling first before surgery; it seems so invasive when there may be a psychological fix first.

Similar story here. Hated them in my teens, slowly got used to them in my twenties and was glad I didn’t change my body. Now after breastfeeding two kids I like them less again, but hope to grow to accept and love them again!

It might also be worth looking into people that say implants were causing them to become unwell & as others have suggested the complications that can occur, the upkeep (how often do they need to be changed?) and the positives.

I felt exactly the same as your dd all through my teens and twenties. Finally took the plunge in my 30’s and wish I had done it sooner- it’s changed my life and given me a sense of freedom that I never had before.

Instead of feeling shame, I feel like my shape is more in proportion and socially acceptable. It’s been a huge relief and six years on I have no regrets.

Watching with interest as my DD of the same age has mentioned wanting a nose job. We have the same nose which is a kick in the teeth, but I have wondered if I should help her get one. Not easy seeing them suffer.

I had mine done in 2009. I was happy at the time but they look shit now. I've put weight on and they're not perky anymore, I couldn't breastfeed and I'm dreading having them out. DD also likes to jump on me and dig her elbows into my tits aswell which kills.

I'd let her make her own choices. It's hard when you're young and pretty and see imperfections in yourself but she also needs to think 10, 20, 30 years down the line. Will she be able to afford to get them replaced/removed in the future?

I would maybe help her get therapy for her feelings about her looks.

I was that girl and had the boob job at 18. I know she can legally do it but I really recommend she waits a few years. I had complications - ended up having 5 operations before I was 28. Lost all feelings in my nipples, was concerned about breast feeding and it didn't work properly, sleeping on two lumps of plastic - plastic can come between you and other people. I have auto immune issues and can't be sure not triggered by implants. No one told me they needed to be changed every 10-15 years. Ended up having them out for good at 45 and left with saggy bits where they used to be. I don't have issue with plastic surgery - but with breast implants its the foreign object in your body that is the difficult bit and causes problems.
Unfortunately, its the very flat chested woman where they don't have much fat where breast implants look like two balls. Its the women with a bit of breast who want to go bigger who end up looking more natural which really isn't fair! I only had 200ml which is not big - just something to put in my bra to feel more 'normal'. But they were never 'normal'.

If she is miserable, then be supportive. I got a boob job at 19 and havent looked back. It really gave me a confidence boost and improved my life so much.
I was told i have to replace them some time down the line, but im mid 30s now and havent had any issues.
Breastfed 2 babies with no problems. My boobs look more perfect than ever even now after pregnancy and breastfeeding, while all my friends are complaining about theirs.
I would do it again in a heartbeat.

I went from A to a big B/C depending on the bra cut. So not huge.

I would want to get to the root of why she is so upset about it.
Does she think it'll change things SO much for her in a positive way? Or if she gets her boobs done will she then start worrying about her nose or thighs or hair?
Is she doing it as she thinks it will make her more (or less) noticeable by others?
Where does the feeling they are 'too small' come from?

This thread is so depressing. I cannot believe the replies.

This is major surgery with lots of potential complications and is certain to impact for the rest of her life in terms of repeat surgeries and other issues.

And for what? Why does she want this? Because our society makes her think that being as sexy as possible is her main goal in life and worth risking her health for. Not to mention spending a load of money on it.

And if she doesn't do it you can guarantee she'll still have no shortage of suitors because men actually aren't that picky when it comes down to it.

I'm not meaning to criticise your daughter or anyone else who goes down this path but I just wish we lived in a world where this was seen as the madness it is.

Make sure she researches Breat Implant Illness before she makes her decision, it can be debilitating for many women.

Side effects from breast implants include:

Chronic fatigue and headaches.

Persistent joint and muscle pain.

Unexplained respiratory difficulties.

Hair loss and frequent skin rashes.

Chronically dry mouth and eyes.

Poor memory and concentration.

Depression, anxiety, and insomnia.

What if she gets bigger boobs, but loses her hair, struggles to breathe, is permanently shattered & depressed?

It's a serious operation and she needs to know the cons as well as the pros.

Going against most posters here but it’s pure vanity - why buy into the idea that oh yes there is “something wrong” with her boobs? There isn’t. I was an A cup at that age. Boob jobs weren’t commonplace then and I’m extremely relieved they weren’t.

while all my friends are complaining about theirs.
I would do it again in a heartbeat

Your friendship group must be very different to mine!

Make sure she knows everything.

Boob jobs need replacing usually every 10 years. So that's thousands to pay every decade or so. Even when you have young kids. If you don't have the money the NHS will remove but not replace.

Make sure she knows about the safest implant options. Silicone v saline. That she knows which ones are shown to cause cancer or rupture.

The risks of surgery and infection afterwards. The recovery time. That she looks at the difficult healing and possibility of big scars and even death.

If she knows all of the information then it's up to her if it will make her happy.

DO NOT let her fly to Turkey etc for a cheaper job. Make sure it's in the U.K. and with a reputable surgeon.

I had a boob job at 21 and don't regret it but I'm glad I was living in France at the time. The surgeons tend to do much more conservative boob jobs. When I suggested going a little bigger my surgeon pointed out that I'd have a hard time finding clothes that would fit me well, it would look unnatural and a host of other reasons not to go bigger. I'm glad I listened and now I'm 34 I love that nobody knows I've had it done unless I tell them. I was really really flat chested but didn't have the willowy figure that normally goes with it.

@belimoo

This thread is so depressing. I cannot believe the replies.

This is major surgery with lots of potential complications and is certain to impact for the rest of her life in terms of repeat surgeries and other issues.

And for what? Why does she want this? Because our society makes her think that being as sexy as possible is her main goal in life and worth risking her health for. Not to mention spending a load of money on it.

And if she doesn't do it you can guarantee she'll still have no shortage of suitors because men actually aren't that picky when it comes down to it.

I'm not meaning to criticise your daughter or anyone else who goes down this path but I just wish we lived in a world where this was seen as the madness it is.

Agree 100%.

This should be about supporting your daughter to love and appreciate her body, not stuff it full of plastic to conform to porny norms.

And to people that say 'nobody can tell' - yes we can. It's just that nobody says 'Hey, I can tell your boobs are fake'.