To put my baby in nursery when I’m off work?

[Babymeanswashing]

I am a teacher, and will be working full time from September.

Nursery have offered two options. One is pay for term time only. DH wants to go down this road.

Second option is to pay 50% fees in school holidays, meaning baby can go 50% of the time.

I’d like to go for the second option, even though it’s more expensive. It would just give me a chance to get stuff done!

What would you do? I don’t think either of us are unreasonable, but I’m wondering what the consensus is.

I'm a teacher and my DDs attend all year round, gives me a chance to catch up on things when I'm off! If you can afford it, why not?

We can afford it but DH does like to save money where he can!

I think for me it would depend a lot on overall financial situation.

If I could comfortably afford to pay the 50% then I would. I would use the time to do chores, catch up on any work and go to appointments not suitable for a child. Doing this means in the holidays, weekends and days when DD is not at nursery can be spent doing fun things with DD.

If going for option 2 means making sacrifices financial, for example option 1 means you could afford a family holiday, but option 2 means you couldn't then I would go for option 1.

[quote MyDcAreMarvel]**@Mummytomylittlegirl* Well you obviously had a very easy baby/ child. I could never get much done. Even now Dd is 3 it’s a challenge. I’d much rather spend quality time with her playing and give her my full attention when she isn’t at nursery.*
No that really, and I had twins and five under the age of four at one point. That’s why I can’t get my head around not being able to get stuff done with one baby.[/quote]
Twins you say?

Yes there’s a few wonder mummies with twins aren’t there

If it's you plus TV turned on while you try to work and get things done versus playing out in the garden and doing lots of fun things at nursery, I'd take nursery every time.

And no, you can't just work in the evenings when your child is asleep after a full day doing lots of activities with them. As a way of life, this is soul-destroying, especially when babies and toddlers go through non-sleeping phases and you eventually get them to sleep at 10pm and then have three hours work to do after that. You need some time off too.

Oh my goodness- no contest go for the 50% holiday care option. If your little one is a baby as you mention it would be so unsettling for them having to get used to nursery again after each school holiday. I actually think that that would be the selfish option! Abd for you, 6 weeks of no childcare help at all would be exhausting, if you have another option. I think kindest to baby and kindest to you is the 50% option. It’s not selfish of you at all

I am a teacher too and I used to put my dc in 50% during the holidays. It meant I could get all the household stuff done and go to any appointments etc alone and then concentrate on them on the other days.

Wow, proof of how righteous a post can get about parenting/nurseries!! To actually answer your question I would go with the 50% option and say to your husband you will see how it goes for the first year. I think by doing it you will get a great idea of if your are using the extra nursery time efficiently to make the cost worthwhile against. But I do think the ratio of consistency for baby at nursery/time you gain getting tasks done that otherwise would be done evenings/weekends/baby in tow means you get more quality time with the baby and free weekends with family. Where i think if you didn't personally I would be thinking 'if baby was at nursery I could do xyz but now its baby in tow or do on a weekend when husband is able to watch baby'. Ignore all the unhelpful comments and do you.

Just saw that you can afford it but DH likes to save money. Does he understand how difficult settling into a new environment is for a baby or toddler? Having to do that 3 x a year when they can just keep the continuity of going 50% is just cruel

And after a 6 or even 3 week holiday it would be unfamiliar if not exactly new

Twins you say?

🤣

@Babymeanswashing

We can afford it but DH does like to save money where he can!

Yes but its not him bearing the impact of the saving is it? Does he have no outside interests? Is he going to pick up more around the house in the holidays so that you can get the school work done? Or is he happy for both of you never to have any time off?

What happens so often is working mothers bear the double load in a way that very few men do. Many men like to think they do, many women will say how great their partners are but every observational study on this shows that even where both parties say they do 50/50 the observations show women carrying the heavier load.

So really if he wants to save the money and you don't maybe the compromise is he picks up more of the domestic and childcare load so that you both genuinely get time off now and again. Personally I'd pay for the extra time and then if in year 1 you find you don't need it look to change the arrangement but don't give up the opportunity until that model is proven.

Hopefully after one year I’ll go down to three days a week anyway, so it won’t really be as pressing an issue. It’s just a difficult eleven months really.

@Babymeanswashing @MissChanandlerBong90
Yes twins, you know when you have two babies at the same time!

@Babymeanswashing @MissChanandlerBong90

Also, baby being in nursery for part of the holidays and you getting stuff done means less pressure on weekends and makes life easier for DH

Otherwise all appointments- dentist, doctor, hair etc, mean DH has to take time off to look after DC or it gets done on Saturday

You don’t work, do you mydc?

Haven't RTFT but I would absolutely go with the 50% but rather than shorter days I'd do two full days and one short day (that's if you were doing 5 full days).
This means your DC get to continue with their routine and socialisation while you are able to get all the boring chores done and some 'me' time too. On the days that DC isn't in nursery you'll have more time for some fun activities.

Best of both worlds!

I've always sent my DD in to holiday club even if I'm not working I have a neurological condition so need a break I was a SAHM until she was 3 , she's never minded she's an only child if she doesn't want to go she can choose not too now she's older . I say mum's not feeling well today and she knows to entertain herself.

@Babymeanswashing a quick check would show you that I do.

Also if your DH doesn't get the same holidays as you but will be booking some time off during the summer it would be nice to have a day to yourselves while baby is in nursery.

To me it's a no-brainer, definitely not worth stopping nursery just to save on fees!

How old is 'baby', more to the point how old will they be at the time you envisage?

I'm not making any judgements on you, I do believe parents need time to themselves and many have this already if they have grandparents who will mind them. Nobody thinks there's anything wrong with that, neither would they if you had a nanny working for you.

If your baby is quite content in the nursery, I see nothing wrong with you putting her or him there for some of the time when you are not working. You have to play it by ear.

You'll be a better mother if you get some you time. Especially if you're not stressed trying to get housework and jobs done on the days you have them so you can focus more on your child. Plus your child will benefit massively from being around other children, and the settling in period for them if they were off 6 weeks is confusing for them.