To put my baby in nursery when I’m off work?

[Babymeanswashing]

I am a teacher, and will be working full time from September.

Nursery have offered two options. One is pay for term time only. DH wants to go down this road.

Second option is to pay 50% fees in school holidays, meaning baby can go 50% of the time.

I’d like to go for the second option, even though it’s more expensive. It would just give me a chance to get stuff done!

What would you do? I don’t think either of us are unreasonable, but I’m wondering what the consensus is.

She will be 9 months when I go back, so nearly 11 months by the first half term holiday.

Sorry mydc I don’t tend to stalk people on here.

You’re self employed, which is great. You’ve obviously got a lot on, but you do have a tiny bit more flexibility than I do.

I was a FT teacher with a baby (and then a toddler and a baby) with no family around. I love my kids and I love being with them, but I'd take the 50% during school holidays without blinking.

A) have you ever, as a teacher, NOT worked during school holidays? It's either a couple of days on reports, or catching up with marking, or in school at the chalkface doing revision sessions/exam results, or setting for next year after doing exam results analysis, or cleaning my classroom. Having the 50% option would allow you to do this.

B) I know exactly what it's like - term time you're getting home after a day at work, tea, play, kids to bed, then starting to work again at 8pm-midnight. Living for the school holidays when you can go to dentist/hairdresser/clothes shopping/visit a friend/sleep. If you have a couple of days in the holidays to do that, you will be able to spend the other days actually doing nice stuff with your child. Days out etc.

C) I love my kids and I enjoy spending time with them. I'm also a person with my own interests and needs. There is nothing wrong with building some opportunity for this into your life.

D) I don't think people who have family help always understand how hard it is without. I couldn't pop to the shops (or pop anywhere - it was an epic trip out or do without), or have someone watch baby for 30mins while i went to doctors, or have someone take baby for a walk while I lay on the bed crying, or on the sofa watching NOT cbbc.

In conclusion, I'm sure I don't actually have to tell you that you are allowed to have some time to yourself to do whatever you want. It doesn't mean you don't love your child. Also, and I have quite a bit of professional experience in this, there are lots of benefits to spending time in nursery with other adults and children. Your child may even enjoy it 😉.

kolo yes to all of that but especially d.

In my NCT class, ALL the other women have their mums help for one day a week. I don’t have that option. And I think you don’t either unless you didn’t used to post on TES?

(The above may make no sense!)

I don’t understand these people who have a problem with parents putting their kids in nursery so they can have some time to themselves Why is time alone w problem? I mean if your kid is there because you’re working, they’re not going to have a better time there than the kids whose parents aren’t working. So why is one acceptable and one not? I literally never stop and my child free days are busier and more productive than my non-child-free days, ‘time to yourself’ does not equal ‘sitting on arse’ - and even if it does for someone, why is that a problem? Everyone needs chill time.

Oh and PS your kid doesn’t care what you’re doing while they’re at nursery, so I don’t know why unrelated adults would care either!

Tbf I am sitting on my arse at the moment, but you know

I started DS in nursery at 12m, a whole month before I went back to work. So that he could have some time to do short sessions and days to settle in, instead of having to go straight into his full three days, and I was around if he didn't settle... and also so that I could have a blissful few weeks of sitting around on my bum, playing videogames, napping and having long baths, after 12 solid months of parenting a baby during a pandemic largely isolated from everyone else.

It was absolute bliss, like oh my goodness!

@Babymeanswashing

Tbf I am sitting on my arse at the moment, but you know

Well me too but it is lunch time!

You are lucky to find nursery that does term time only. I used to have to pay whether I sent my kids in or not.
50% sounds ideal to be honest. Gives you flexibility of being with baby and getting things done (or not lol)

DH wants to go down this road.

So long as it is affordable and he is providing all the holiday childcare, it seems fair enough to me. He is a great father.

Wot, wait, you mean he wants you to do it all throughout your holiday?

Yeah, right.

50% perfect. You get quality time with your child and time to do other things, while. the child doesn't need resettling done Sept.

@Babymeanswashing

Yes there’s a few wonder mummies with twins aren’t there

I've got a friend with two sets of twins, so she had 4 under 3 at one point. I'd say from observing that she survived by having a strict routine and being very organised. I don't think she had the luxury of being a bit lax like I did, my 4 had big age differences so I had a 20 year old and a new baby and two in between so a bit different to 4 under 3.

She was also very willing to accept offers of help which I think sometimes we are reluctant to admit we need. Not sure if it goes for all mums of twins but it worked well with her.

I have no help.

I was a SAHM and I put my ds full time into nursery. It was the best thing we could do. My ds just needed that stimulation and social aspect that I couldn't do at home, and I was just losing my mind as he is an extremely clingy baby and still even now at 5yo. My ds was extremely happy and I felt so much better for having that break every day. My dh was very supportive of this as he knew how intensely clingy ds was. It worked very well for us. I would go with the 50 % option for sure.

Go for the 50% through the holidays.

At the end of the day that would be no different to non teacher workers who have to keep them in for almost the whole summer.

I personally think it's better they are having fun at nursery than being plonked with TV at home whilst you try to do jobs with them at home or dragged around doing errands. My dd lives nursery she'd be much happier playing there and having quality time when she's at home.

Personally I would always choose the term time option but money would not come into it. I miss my kids every day at work, I love my time off with them and wouldn't miss it for the world.

Surely I dont have the only 4 & 2 year old who love helping with the jobs at home? They love a bit of hoovering, 2 year old wipes up well, they both like doing laundry. 4 year old particularly likes the spray mop

I’ve no idea. It’s not so much about chores at home as school work, tbh.

Using the childcare because you need to work is different. If you have to work you may have no choice but to use it.

Well, I’m not going to clarify what I mean, it’s pretty obvious.

It's like everything really op

You do you.

If you need that time, have that time. It doesn't really matter what anyone else would do.

Using the childcare because you need to work is different. If you have to work you may have no choice but to use it

Why is it different? Because it gives the main carer a bit of time off?

We had no family nearby but one of the striking differences between parents raising children alone and those with family was the extent to which those with family took it for granted and discounted it as help.

No worries about doctor, dentist, odd evening out or even a regular day a week of childcare because a handy DGP or sibling or aunt was around to help. None of this was ever considered to be odd or even an issue.

But a woman paying cash for a bit of time so she can get other jobs done or go to the dentist in peace is somehow immoral.

I would do the 50%

But then if I have a day at home and then DC are at childcare I don't feel guilty about putting a box set on or catching up on sleep sometimes.

@RockingMyFiftiesNot I'm not here for a discussion re teachers holidays. The OP asked a question. I answered my personal opinion on it!
I have a lot of friends who are teachers and I have been told many times by them the only holidays that they fully get are the 6 weeks summer holidays they do work some of their holidays. A lot of parents only get 5.6 weeks paid holiday per year and have to take them at certain times for Christmas! So they do struggle to be able to have school holidays off with their children!
@Babymeanswashing Teaching holidays are lovely. I’m sure anyone who wants them can look into training as a teacher

you asked about opinions for your plans for nursery while your off work not about going into teaching.

I can’t make head nor tail of that metallica

Countless threads on here of women absolutely desperate for a minute to themselves, yet this thread would have you never believing that 😄

Why is it different? Because it gives the main carer a bit of time off?

We had no family nearby but one of the striking differences between parents raising children alone and those with family was the extent to which those with family took it for granted and discounted it as help.

No worries about doctor, dentist, odd evening out or even a regular day a week of childcare because a handy DGP or sibling or aunt was around to help. None of this was ever considered to be odd or even an issue.

But a woman paying cash for a bit of time so she can get other jobs done or go to the dentist in peace is somehow immoral.

Yes - I find it very strange. People seem to get very upset by the idea of a woman taking time off from parenting, and particularly triggered by her paying money in order to do it.