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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To put my baby in nursery when I’m off work?

333 replies

Babymeanswashing · 23/06/2021 08:17

I am a teacher, and will be working full time from September.

Nursery have offered two options. One is pay for term time only. DH wants to go down this road.

Second option is to pay 50% fees in school holidays, meaning baby can go 50% of the time.

I’d like to go for the second option, even though it’s more expensive. It would just give me a chance to get stuff done!

What would you do? I don’t think either of us are unreasonable, but I’m wondering what the consensus is.

OP posts:
TreeSmuggler · 23/06/2021 19:21

This thread is really unusual because these type of threads usually get 99% of responses in favour of the nursery, same with threads where the parent says they are tired/overwhelmed, on maternity leave but also have an older dc, or don't have to work but want to.

Heyha · 23/06/2021 19:26

@TreeSmuggler

This thread is really unusual because these type of threads usually get 99% of responses in favour of the nursery, same with threads where the parent says they are tired/overwhelmed, on maternity leave but also have an older dc, or don't have to work but want to.
I think you're right, and I'm afraid I think the difference here is that it's a teacher that's posted and it's the usual mumsnet subconscious bias against teachers at play from some (not all, obvs, there's plenty of more carefully thought out replies too!)
Cornettoninja · 23/06/2021 19:27

@TreeSmuggler

This thread is really unusual because these type of threads usually get 99% of responses in favour of the nursery, same with threads where the parent says they are tired/overwhelmed, on maternity leave but also have an older dc, or don't have to work but want to.
Honestly? I think it’s down to the difference in the day/night time MN crowd (I nibble throughout the day Grin).

It makes sense to me that more working mums MN in the evening.

Treaclepie19 · 23/06/2021 19:37

I definitely think do the 50%
You need time to do your work over the holiday. It's not like a teaching stops over the holidays really is it?
(Ex teacher, now SAHM but 100% see where you're coming from)

tubbycustardtummyache · 23/06/2021 19:42

If you can afford it I’d definitely do a couple of shorter days a week over the holidays for continuing

I pay full time nursery fees but will be putting dd in some of the time in the holidays while I get some one to one time with the school age one and also hopefully time to exercise
Your sanity is important too. Don’t feel guilty!

Frankola · 23/06/2021 19:49

I have my DD whenever I have time off as we do it around school calendar. I really look forward to it.

I'd love to have school holiday allowance and I'd love to have my DD all that time.
I think you're really lucky to have that option.. they grow so fast
I

Original poster
Babymeanswashing · 23/06/2021 19:50

I don’t consider it luck, I chose to train as a teacher. You can do that too.

OP posts:
AbitSceptical · 23/06/2021 19:55

I put my kids in nursery one day a week when I didn't work at all. They loved it and I got lots done on my days 'off'. I also got a break so I was able to be a more positive, energetic person when I was with them. My DH worked long hours and I had no family support so if it weren't for nursery they'd have been with me 24/7. Everyone needs a rest sometimes.

Dangermouse80 · 23/06/2021 19:57

It is not wrong to want some time to yourselves. That way when you are with them you can be a better parent. I have done this with all 3 and it suits us all.
Lots of parents spend lots of time with their children whilst resenting they can't get other things done. Do what is right for you.

Narwhalsh · 23/06/2021 20:16

You will be judged/flamed and be made to feel guilty for whatever you do as a working parent so do what you think would be best for you! If I were in your shoes and could afford the holiday time then I would be taking it. Your baby will have a great time in nursery, the continuity of care and routine will be very important and it allows you to have some time to yourself-win win!

TreeSmuggler · 24/06/2021 05:28

@Babymeanswashing

I don’t consider it luck, I chose to train as a teacher. You can do that too.
Grin Exactly, unless I've missed the news that all the teaching schools in the UK are closed to new admissions, everyone in this thread can get in on this.
Waxonwaxoff0 · 24/06/2021 05:55

You do what you want to do. Why are people so bitter about the holidays teachers get? There's nothing stopping you training to be one. Get over yourselves. (I'm not a teacher).

MondeoFan · 24/06/2021 06:04

For me personally I wouldn't do it but I guess 1 day a week or 1 day here and there wouldn't harm.
I hate to think of her there whilst you're at home

Zorinindustries · 24/06/2021 06:19

I'd do 50% for continuity for DC. 6 weeks off is far too long for them, it will probably take them ages to resettle.

If possible I'd chose 2 full days a week, or 2 or 3 half days.
That way, they stay in a routine, you get some time, and everyone is happy.

MartyHart · 24/06/2021 06:25

@MondeoFan

For me personally I wouldn't do it but I guess 1 day a week or 1 day here and there wouldn't harm. I hate to think of her there whilst you're at home
Why? Will some harm come to her? She's at nursery for goodness sake not up a chimney.
Nonamenoplacetogo · 24/06/2021 06:34

I’m a teacher but my kids are now older. Go for the 50% so you can get the house sorted and plan for September.

Tumbleweed101 · 24/06/2021 06:35

Keep in mind that nursery is a busy place and children need down time at home too . Children who do full time hours with us seem exhausted by the end of term just like adults are in full time work. They do a lot and learn a lot a nursery but they have to follow our routines and share all day and it can be tiring for them.

I'd probably do term time and pay for odd days as needed if the nursery cater for that (we do). Settling back in shouldn't be a huge problem if they are already well settled now. Most of ours came back without tears from the covid lockdown break.

Mintyt · 24/06/2021 06:43

I used to be a child minder I had my friends little one on a Friday, her DH worked away, she would get on top of the house work and school uniforms, have a bath and get sorted for her H to come home. Once my others friends got wind they started to book days for me to have their child ( these are children I knew and they knew me and my home) while they had a "day off". I completely get it. It's win win you get on with your stuff or just rest and the child keeps routine doing stuff they like, do the 50% and count your blessings I would

TentTalk · 24/06/2021 06:52

I'd do the 50% in the holidays m parents need a break too

Brown76 · 24/06/2021 07:02

50% option, which leaves you with 6 weeks holiday with your children, the same as most parents.

WhenwillSleephappen · 24/06/2021 07:14

As a fellow teacher and with children who are awful at sleeping I say put her in for 50% during the holidays.

you may need to use the time to sleep / do work / catch up on things you haven’t done during term time.

Why feel guilty? With rest or preparation for the term ahead, you’ll have more time to focus on her.

I know some teachers manage to get it all done during term time, but I usually have plenty to do in the holidays and if you give yourself some extra time your less likely to burn out.

WhenwillSleephappen · 24/06/2021 07:15

@WhenwillSleephappen

As a fellow teacher and with children who are awful at sleeping I say put her in for 50% during the holidays.

you may need to use the time to sleep / do work / catch up on things you haven’t done during term time.

Why feel guilty? With rest or preparation for the term ahead, you’ll have more time to focus on her.

I know some teachers manage to get it all done during term time, but I usually have plenty to do in the holidays and if you give yourself some extra time your less likely to burn out.

*you’re less likely to burn out
vickyq1983 · 24/06/2021 07:22

God some people on here saying once you have children you don't deserve / shouldn't have a break. Ridiculous! I quite often require some time alone so I can recharge and be the best parent possible. My mental health would be shot to shit if I didn't have a break.

OP 50% sounds fine to be, it will allow you to get things done and be a better parent when your child is at home. Also continuity during 6 weeks of holiday would be very important for my child although maybe different for yours. If you feel you need a break don't let others tell you that makes you a bad parent.

Whatkatyforgottodo · 24/06/2021 07:26

Also a teacher (though part time) and I would say definitely do it! I’ll be honest, I am in awe of mums who go back to teaching full time, I could not physically have done it. Please do not let anyone on here make you feel bad about your choices, as you’ve said, you don’t have to use all the 50%, but it’s there if you need it (which I think you will!)

Jangle33 · 24/06/2021 07:26

Lots of people send their kids to nursery whilst they’re not working. Personally I just wanted to spend that time with my kids. Being a teacher is full on, id be wanting to spend the holiday time with them.