I have to decide by the end of summer 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Puttheneedleontheraquet]

Do I use my final embryo from ivf and try for a child?

I’m 43, with a 3 year old toddler Dd after years of trying.
We have ah embryo left. 43 is my personal cut off age to try again with the embryo. I would’ve tried last year, but Covid and I have long covid (getting better 🙏)
If it were to work, I’d have a baby at 44 and my now daughter would be almost 4…is this crazy? Should I be content with one? Am I too old? Won’t be offended at all if people think I am. I’m not sure what to do..so wish I was 33 and not 43

Go for it! You won’t know if you don’t try.

Wishing you good health, hope you’re completely better soon.

Will you always regret it if you don’t try?

I think you should go for it. It may work or it may not but I think you’ll forever be thinking I wish I’d gone for it.

Yes go for it.

I think in your position, I would at least try. I can see what a hard decision it is!
My parents were both 42 when I was born OP and my mum was never in the best of health, but here I am 66 years later on mumsnet...

I would.

I'd go for it

Go for it!
You don't want to regret not trying

If you're both in agreement, I would. I'm 40 and we have a 3 year old. We're still not sure if we'll try for another, but if we wanted to and didn't at least try I'd always be wondering. Your DD will be in school by the time the baby comes around, pretty much, so easier to work the routine around the baby for much of the day.

I would.

In your shoes I’d 100% give it a go. Good luck whatever you decide?”!

I was you and I didn't because I couldn't face going back to having a tiny baby at that age. But it's a very personal decision and I wish you luck as it's not an easy one to make

I say go for it (if your partner agrees). I don't think 44 is too old or a 4 year gap is too big.

Go for it! My friend conceived her second baby 10 years after she had her first DC following a few rounds of IVF - she was 43. She's now waving her off to primary this year and looking absolutely amazing - and with a ready made babysitter waiting in the wings

I wouldn’t.

My reasons are-

I’m not particularly fit and wouldn’t have the energy to run around after a toddler at 45.

I wouldn’t want to worry about young adults securing jobs and housing when I’m hitting 70.

My parents were older parents and I don’t think it benefitted them or me.

I have no support around me from family, it’s just me and DH.

I don’t want a child (the big decider, obviously!)

But you’re not me, and you want a baby.
Plus, you have the embryo on ice. That probably changes things a bit psychological too.

Do you feel like you’d be physically and financially up for it? Can you picture supporting a young adult past retirement?

Go for it!

It wouldn’t be right for me but I had my kids much younger. But for you, you had a child at 40, so what’s a few more years. If you would like another child, you should definitely try. I hope whatever you choose, that you’re happy.

Will you regret not trying if you don't? That would decide for me, if I'm financially secure enough to have another child.

3 years difference really doesn't make a big difference in your life. If you were happy with a baby 3 years ago, it's not much different today.

If you were really exhausted and struggled, it will be hard.

At 4, your daughter should be at nursery and give you a bit of time to yourself.

I would try. Can you get any help (cleaner, au-pair?).

I'd go for it for sure! I have a very 'no embryo left behind' approach to my IVF, but aside from that I think the 'what if' would be really hard to deal with. It may be that it doesn't work but at least you'll know you've closed the door on that chapter in a definitive way.

I don't think you are too old, and agree with the comment that would you regret it if you did not try.

@khakiandcoral I was very exhausted, but friends who had babies at 26, 33..said feet were too during the first few years 🤔 I could maybe afford some help if things got hard, we live away from family though, so don’t have that luxury.

I wouldn’t. Just the fact that you’re unsure and vacillating would make me doubt that it’s a good idea. I think you have to be completely committed to the idea of bringing a child into the world. The indecision would make the decision for me.

@OffRampHilton I worry a lot about all those things

If you think you would like to go for it, then do! Otherwise you'll never know.

However, I would be sure to think through all the consequences. If it doesn't work out, would you be disappointed enough to try again, with a fresh IVF and all that goes with it?