I have to decide by the end of summer 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Puttheneedleontheraquet]

Do I use my final embryo from ivf and try for a child?

I’m 43, with a 3 year old toddler Dd after years of trying.
We have ah embryo left. 43 is my personal cut off age to try again with the embryo. I would’ve tried last year, but Covid and I have long covid (getting better 🙏)
If it were to work, I’d have a baby at 44 and my now daughter would be almost 4…is this crazy? Should I be content with one? Am I too old? Won’t be offended at all if people think I am. I’m not sure what to do..so wish I was 33 and not 43

@PianoAndGuitar That’s just it, I couldn’t have my kids any younger, I so wish I was even 40 and contemplating the second..time is cruel

You have plenty of time to look into how you'll manage it, but I'm sure you'll be able to. Best of luck with whatever you choose

@NotRainingToday No, I wouldn’t start it all again at this age, definitely not. The embryo transfer would be an easier procedure and I’d have to prepare myself mentally for the likelihood that it wouldn’t work and to not get too invested etc.

I guess my only real issue is my age 😞

i am 43 and have a 1 year old and a 2 year old and another on the way, due in Dec. I also work fulltime. Do it :)

@bunnypenny Oh wow! You’re amazing 💜will you be 44 or 43 when baby arrives?

What does your clinic say about your age?

Your frozen embryo is a little bit like a donor egg, in the sense that it was generated a few years ago and therefore younger than you are IYSWIM

Or did you mean lifestyle rather than pregnancy itself?

@bunnypenny Do you worry about the future at all? That’s my main concern

@NotRainingToday Yes, the embryo was frozen when I was 39, and in good health etc, so I’m not too concerned about that. I’m also a little concerned but not massively about pregnancy but hopefully it would be ok.
My main issue is the future and being older when the child grows up etc

Having older parents might be mitigated somewhat by having a sibling.
Having to deal with your parents aging/ dying at a young age has got to be better if that is a burden shared.
Not that anything is guaranteed.
I’d go for it.
Good luck

I would do it OP I don't think 4 years is a big age gap there is 8 years between me and DB and we were naturally conceived. My Mom was 40 when my DB was born and I was 39 when my DS was born I'm 42 now (almost 43) and I am still actively trying for No 2.

I was born to an older mother and I think if possible, ensuring that your daughter isn't an only child is the kindest way to off-set the risks of you being an older parent. My parents are in their late 70s now, and my mum has been in bad health for years: its not really age related, but it would be nice to have a sibling to share worries with. That being said, I actually think having older parents was a positive for me: they weren't trying to arrange babysitters and go out clubbing, they both really leaned in to being parents and I definitely benefited from that. Im late thirties having my second, my husband is early 40s, and this is v much the norm where I live. I think in your situation, with a frozen embryo from 39 (so no further increased risks of a child with disabilities from being in your 40s) I would 100% go for it.

Two family members recently had their second children at 45 and 46 respectively, and honestly it is going really well for them. Four year gap for the second of those too and they love the new sibling. If you feel financially secure enough to bring in help, and the reluctance is about far away 'what ifs' rather than the fact that you're happier with one child than you expected and you don't actually want a second, then I really wouldn't hesitate.

Yes. I couldnt bear to think of a potential baby in limbo. But it's up to you.

Hi I'm 39. I had my first 3 children at 20,21 & 26. I'm now 39 with a 2 year old, a little younger than you. I also foster so currently we have 7 children in the house. I'm no more tired now than I was in my 20's however my age means I'm more laid back and enjoying my daughter more so than I didn't when I was younger because Ive done my growing up now!

Fingers crossed it all goes well for you xx

Definitely I would.

what will happen to the embryo if you don't?

Just try - you will always regret it if you don’t at least try.
I will have a 6 year age gap after 3 years of trying, miscarriages, covid related delays etc. Doesn’t matter, we are thrilled to be having another baby.

Is there a partner in the picture?

I would do it. If it works it will mean your dd is not an only child. If it works you will figure out the issues raised in posts above.

Depends on your circumstances..
Finance- can you comfortably afford another child?
Health- Are you OK with IVF impact on your health, as well as general impact of pregnancy on your body
Risks- statistically risks of disabilities are higher at this age/frozen embryo set up
Mental health- Are you going to cope well if there are issues with pregnancy/unsuccessful IVF
Time- Can you handle 2 children given work and other commitments

Realistically, the only reason to try for another child is a very strong desire to have another child. If in doubt I wouldn't do it

[quote Puttheneedleontheraquet]@bunnypenny Do you worry about the future at all? That’s my main concern[/quote]
i will be 43 when the baby is here, so 3 under 3 (it wasn't in my game plan, but here we are :D)

I worry about the future in as much as anyone does i think? i don't worry about ill health or old age, i worry more about needing to move to a better area with more space, making sure the kids are happy and safe, worrying about nursery fees etc. i try to take each day as it comes. we don't have a support network where we are so i worry about that but so far it's been fine. i can't worry about what i can't control!

Go for it ..you already have a young child and the gap won't be so big, they'll still be playmates

I wouldn't. I'm 36 and couldn't deal with a baby.

Well I suppose it's ur last try so just go for it and see if it was meant to be.

I think @bunnypenny is a genetic freak in terms of her energy levels Don't base on life decisions on what she can do

I had my son at 42. He keeps me young. He's now 12 and we have a fantastic relationship. I don't think it's ever crossed his mind that I'm an older mum, cause I'm not. I've made it my mission to be healthy and fit