Bridal couple requesting no "boxed gifts"... Is this normal or cheeky?

[weekendbreak101]

I'm invited to the wedding of a friend. Not a particularly close friend but we've known each other a long time.
On the invitation, the couple have requested "no boxed gifts"..
Can't help feeling this is a bit cheeky... I presume they mean no kettles, toasters, crockery sets and that kind of stuff but to rule out anything that comes in a box??
Feeling a bit annoyed, as I feel it's an indirect way of saying "we prefer money or vouchers". Surely it should be up to the guest what they want to give (or can afford to give) as a gift?
What are other peoples' thoughts on this?

Going back to the point about this being normal on Asian wedding invitations (I'm talking about Indian, Pakistani, Bangladeshi, Sri Lankan), these weddings tend to have hundreds of attendees. Literally anyone who is a friend of a friend of a relative will be invited. People can be old school in their thinking, you really don't want to receive 4 toasters, so it's better to state that you would prefer money if a gift is given.
It has been mentioned many times on the thread this is normal tradition in Eastern Europe and Ireland. I haven't heard of a gift list in Ireland since I was a DC and couples didn't live together.
I was surprised when I first read about wedding poems and the anger it caused on MN.
Some people will still buy a gift over money that is lovely as long as 100 people don't buy a similar gift.

I tell you what IS cheeky @weekendbreak101- posting and never coming back to acknowledge the hundreds if people who have been kind enough to answer your question

@EmeraldShamrock sorry I didn't read the whole thread. I had not realised that about Irish and Eastern European weddings, that's really interesting.

@ExpulsoCorona Yes it is the norm in a couple of places

There's a number of cultures where money as a wedding present is traditional.

I don't think this is cheeky at all.

I wouldn't give them any gift at all. If they ever are cheeky enough to ask why you didn't give them a present, just say "you asked for no gifts".

I understand why people don't want to receive fifteen kettles, but I asking for money does seem distasteful to me. I can't really explain why but it does. I never know how much to give either.

@KarensGobbyChops

The best gift giving is thoughtful though isn't it? from someone who knows you well and loves or likes you - why would that end up in a charity shop?

Unless you're a complete randomer or plus one.

And even then, who buys things like toasters for weddings anymore ? Maybe my DGM's generation at a push.

Because lots of people are nowhere near as good at choosing presents as they think they are, and being close to someone doesn't mean you're skilled at expressing that via the medium of consumerism. And our average dwelling size is the smallest in Europe, so for many people getting married, space is really at a premium and they wouldn't actually be able to store a load of 'thoughtful' gifts.

I wouldn't give them any gift at all. If they ever are cheeky enough to ask why you didn't give them a present, just say "you asked for no gifts".

I think most people would prefer that rather than, as @BoaCunstrictor said, a present that is no-where near as good as you think it is.

I never know how much to give either
Give the value of the kettle, toaster or other ' thoughtful gift you would have bought.

Knowing how much to give is tricky. You don’t know what the standard is and what everyone else’s donation will be.
Will the Bride and Groom deem your donation not enough as they will know how much they would expect given peoples circumstances. 🤷‍♀️

@Sparklingbrook

Knowing how much to give is tricky. You don’t know what the standard is and what everyone else’s donation will be. Will the Bride and Groom deem your donation not enough as they will know how much they would expect given peoples circumstances. 🤷‍♀️

Even if they do, what can they do about it? Make you puke up all the food and drink you had?

If they get pissy, they suck and that's their problem.

I don’t mean that really @ObviousNameChage not that they would ‘get pissy’ and definitely nothing to do with puking not sure what that’s referring to.
More silent judgement over the amount being unexpectedly small (or large).

@GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER

I don’t know whether it’s still done, but at an outdoor village wedding do in Cyprus years ago, when the couple got up to dance (slowly) guests went up and pinned money on to the bride’s dress. Excellent idea, I thought. It looked like quite a respectable haul.

I've heard of this at other weddings. Do you think there's a tactic with the denominations?! So if you're giving less, you go for multiples of £5 pound notes to look like more, or does that end up as a pinning nightmare and it's £50s only...?

@GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER ooh that's interesting!

There was an old tradition in certain parts of my home (EE) country where to ''help the B&G start out in life'' they would have them dance and have 2 trays set up and men/women would come up to either steal the bride or groom to dance with them by putting any amount of money in the tray and the dance would go on until the next person put some money in and stole the B or G from them and so on.

It's actually looked really fun as I watched in on my parents wedding vid. At one point an uncle barely managed to walk up to my mum when he was cut off by her godfather who put money in just after him so he didn't even get a dance

[quote doritodust]@GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER ooh that's interesting!

There was an old tradition in certain parts of my home (EE) country where to ''help the B&G start out in life'' they would have them dance and have 2 trays set up and men/women would come up to either steal the bride or groom to dance with them by putting any amount of money in the tray and the dance would go on until the next person put some money in and stole the B or G from them and so on.

It's actually looked really fun as I watched in on my parents wedding vid. At one point an uncle barely managed to walk up to my mum when he was cut off by her godfather who put money in just after him so he didn't even get a dance [/quote]
We have a "steal the bride" custom too. She is actually taken away, to a club or something similar and only returned after the groom pays the "ransom". Normally it involves alcohol. The haggling can be quite funny as can be the realisation she's gone even if it's expected.

[quote EmeraldShamrock]@ExpulsoCorona Yes it is the norm in a couple of places [/quote]
Yup. Most people see the practicality of it...

Ha! We have steal a bride too! The groom needs to find her quick because he pays the bill as well😂

Traditionally people were giving the practical gifts to start a home, but a while ago it just naturally changed into money. No one moans including the older gen. It's practical