I get it. On the hand you don't want to put your anxiety on them, on the other it is wise to be vigilant along the lines of 'foresight is better than hindsight'.
Mine is summer born and not sixteen yet, though left school.
I explain now that I need someone's number (or address) still, if she doesn't make it home I need to know what her steps were, just in case. Perhaps because I'm a single parent we are more close knit?
Thankfully she has a few close friends and before the pandemic I know them slightly from sleepovers having chatted at pick ups and drop offs when they were younger.
Someone on here explained they operated a 'no questions asked pick up policy'. basically what it says on the tin, they can phone if they get in a pickle or feel uncomfortable somewhere and I will not tell them off, just turn up. I've explained this to my teen and she liked it.
Finally, and I don't wish to fuel anyone's anxiety. But for the first time in nearly ten years of being here we had a stabbing on our street (its a long street) this week. I understand these are common in other areas but it gave me a shock. The one who did it was a teenager and under eighteen. Thankfully the victim didn't die. The person who did it was bailed and probably given a community sentence.
I've had conversations with parents I know about it and we agree that as long as we can, and especially with young men, though also young women obviously, we need to talk about things like knives if we can. And even check if we can that they are not carrying knives and who they are with. Likewise as possible educate ourselves and keep an open mind about country lines activity.
So I suffer from anxiety too, I empathise, however, there have been times when it is an advantage, as painful as it is, as I have anticipated a situation something which someone who was more naive would not have noticed.
And things like that affect people from all areas. Sometimes I think economically better off communities are more at risk as their kids are not so street wise. I know that is a stereotype if you like, but we all operate with them to some extend.
I don't check my daughter's phone. Feel like it is better to have the trust and the coversations there instead, about porn, risks online, what they have learned in school etc.
Finally and sorry for such a long post we've had conversations about what they are allowed to do when they are sixteen as opposed to fifteen. There are some misconceptions about this, but if you get the information from a fact checking organisation like fullfact.org.
or Family Lives it helped me anyway.
It is a bit tricky when some in group are already sixteen and some only fifteen.
And always tell them if they are in a group to stick together and not seperate even if they have an falling out (which happens).
And make sure they are confident about phoning 999 if someone needs it or gets hurt. That is what it is there for.