Offered a new job, DH walked out

[NorthSew]

AIBU?

I have been working from home for the last 3 years.

Before this, my DH and I ran a business together for 6 years (I was more a silent partner.)

Recently, I've been offered a job at the local university- a job I think I would really enjoy and excel in.

I told him over dinner and he said "oh I am sure you will make lots of new friends and meet new people."

To which I responded "it's not really about that, but, yes, it would be nice to make some friends."

I don't have many here.

He got up and walked through to the kitchen. Then left the house. When I heard him leaving I asked him where he was going but he didn't answer. It's possible he didn't hear me.

I feel stupid now.

Maybe he’s rushed out to buy some champagne to celebrate?? Clutching at straws!

I am a bit surprised nobody else has picked up that we are missing some key information.

Unless you are some highly sought after specialist in your field you dont just get offered a job. You must have taken the time to look for the position, apply and interview.

It sounds like this has come totally out of the blue for him. What is the backstory? Did you keep this whole process a secret?

That's the most pathetic thing I've ever heard. You should lock the door behind him. This doesn't bode well, does it?

He can walk out forever!!

Do you feel stupid because you've just realised you've been married to an insecure dickhead for all these years? Well you've got some way to go to catch me up - I was married to one of those for almost a quarter of a century. Note the past tense. It took far longer than it should to realise that, like they say about alcoholism, I didn't cause it, I couldn't control it, I couldn't cure it - but I could remove the problem from my life. So I did.

Congratulations on your new job. You have nothing to feel stupid about. His reaction is concerning. Is he often like this? Does he like you having no friends because that is not normal.

Perhaps he just needed some head space a bit tough to imply that your unhappy with your current situation. Definitely take the job but allow him to talk.

Did he not know you'd applied, OP?

If not, why not? Is it because you knew he'd react like this?

It really might be chocolates and champagne? (He loves you. This will make you happy.) If I were you, I'd hold that thought and refuse to think anything else. How can it be a bad thing?

You must know why he felt like that ? It can't be out of the blue

LTB

Maybe he thought OP was just playing at getting a job, but didn't actually mean it. Now he knows she wasn't.

Either he doesn't like it that you'll have a life of your own that doesn't revolve around him, or he's miserable in his job and is jealous that you've got a shiny new one.

Is he always so weird?

Congrats on the job 🥂

WTF. Unless he has some rational explanation, this is a real concern.

I agree.
He’s either upset that this is the first he’s heard about it and you’ve decided to leave the business without letting him know. Or he’s a jealous, controlling twat. But it’s hard to say without more information.

@PicsInRed

Has he always been a controlling and jealous man?

This. It sounds like you are isolated and your husband wants it that way

Anyone else wondering ifbopbwill come back with something like

'He is upset because in every other job I have had, I have an affair'

Or something that totally flips this on its head.

Hopefully he keeps walking. What a horrible little shit.

Ooh this is like one of those bad American movies where the DH’s body has been taken over by aliens.
They’ve just called him back to the mothership and op is currently trying to rescue him from alien clutches.
Ok not very likely but doesn’t look like the op is coming back to tell us.

Has he come back yet @NorthSew? Has he explained why he walked out?

I think you should have discussed it with him first. As I would have expected him to talk over with you a proposed change of job. Seems to be a communication problem.

You haven't given us much to go on, but this hints at him being controlling.... is he?

Congrats on the new job! Don't let your DH put you off if that's what you want to do.

That’s very strange behaviour on his part. Has he come back?

Congrats on your new job...its a pity your husband doesnt feel the same way. Really confused as to what his issue is

Do you know how many middle aged men nip out the shop for wine and never come back?

Not enough.

Hes weird

WTF! Is he controlling and jealous? Let's hope he doesn't come back.