To be a bit miffed that dc school did no cards for Father's day

[Glitteranddirt21]

Just wonder if anyone's dc school do anything for Father's day. The school do a mother's day shop where for a non school uniform day they take in a small gift that they then select from a shop later and wrap for us and always get a lovely card made for Mothers day but realised today that they never do anything for Father's day not even a card.

Yes, sorry, I didn't read the whole thread @brittleheadgirl, how naive of me not to realise this would blow up into a bun fight over what we can and can't say or do.

For the record, my dad left when I was a baby, I lived in a tiny shit hole during my school years and I remember us having to illustrate where we lived, type of property, no. of rooms etc, which was humiliating as fuck when I'd been sent to a 'better' village college outside the city I lived and all my peers lives in big detached houses in the pretty village. There's always one kid that'll potentially be left feeling inferior or sad. It's life.

@Ingridla

Yes, sorry, I didn't read the whole thread *@brittleheadgirl*, how naive of me not to realise this would blow up into a bun fight over what we can and can't say or do.

For the record, my dad left when I was a baby, I lived in a tiny shit hole during my school years and I remember us having to illustrate where we lived, type of property, no. of rooms etc, which was humiliating as fuck when I'd been sent to a 'better' village college outside the city I lived and all my peers lives in big detached houses in the pretty village. There's always one kid that'll potentially be left feeling inferior or sad. It's life.

I'm sorry to hear that you had a difficult life as a child but this makes it more baffling as to why you can't see why people have responded the way they have on here?

Yes, years ago we just blindly assumed that all children had a traditional set up at home, thankfully times have changed very much for the better.

@singsingbluesilver

Biancadelrioisback you are absolutely right. There are lots of things I don't understand until I have the opportunity to consider other points of view. It is not unusual for me to change my point of view on threads on MN after reading input from lots of posters.

I'm the same! But sometimes I worry about asking questions as often you're torn apart for not considering every possibility or set of circumstances. I've learned loads since I joined MN and have chopped and changed my mind on certain subjects based on the information I read. It's good to have discussions like this so people have the opportunity to better understand things.

@ObviousNameChage presumably it wasn’t unclear, I just didn’t notice when I first read it - my fault!

Having experienced the recently bereaved child situation (more than once), I feel strongly about it as you do about the children whose situations you have experienced more. I think a previous poster’s idea about thank you cards at a few points in the year is a nice one. Having thought about it, it might be an idea to keep a few cards for various occasions in a drawer in case a child needs one.

Nursery did a card & baked biscuits for mother’s day, nothing for Fathers Day. School did cards for both.

There's some legitimate wickedness on this thread.

[quote showerbeer]@ObviousNameChage presumably it wasn’t unclear, I just didn’t notice when I first read it - my fault!

Having experienced the recently bereaved child situation (more than once), I feel strongly about it as you do about the children whose situations you have experienced more. I think a previous poster’s idea about thank you cards at a few points in the year is a nice one. Having thought about it, it might be an idea to keep a few cards for various occasions in a drawer in case a child needs one.[/quote]
Entirely fair enough. I also see how your comment that upset me (as you say we care strongly about some things) came to be and it's not what it seemed.

I suppose as long as we try to always remember that it's about the children and their needs a compromise/sensitive way to deal with such things can be found.

@ObviousNameChage I think you’re very right there. Keeping that at the forefront of our minds is important, and with that to drive our decisions we probably (hopefully) can’t go too far wrong!

@ResIpsaLoquiturInterAlia no one is trying to cancel father's day! You are making this bigger than it really is and keep mentioning "cancel culture" and "wokeness". That's not what posters are saying. It's about sensitivity to children who don't have a traditional nuclear family and also about not expecting schools to do everything!

Please answer this, you mentioned earlier memorial cards for deceased father's. Do you really think it's appropriate to ask say a 7 year old whose dad has recently passed away to make a card for him..in a classroom setting, away from his Mother who may comfort him, amongst children who might innocently ask why are you making one when you father has died? With no time or opportunity to talk to that child in depth and sensitivity about their loss? Honestly do you think that's a good idea?

Honestly if it's now considered woke to be mindful of the feelings of bereaved children or any children who don't have a traditional family set up then yep, I'm definitely woke, sign me up to that!

I am questioning the intent of some posters.

ObviousNameChage

If you're incapable of folding a piece of A4 paper and giving your child a couple of crayons that's your problem.

How fucking lazy are you?

@Comedycook

Honestly if it's now considered woke to be mindful of the feelings of bereaved children or any children who don't have a traditional family set up then yep, I'm definitely woke, sign me up to that!

Me too. Prefer to be woke than someone who doesn't give a shit about bereaved children.

@HahaAreyouSerious

ObviousNameChage

If you're incapable of folding a piece of A4 paper and giving your child a couple of crayons that's your problem.

How fucking lazy are you?

Not as lazy as you, since you either couldn't be bothered to read my posts or read them correctly.

I'm talking about children I work with not my own.

I am just imaging a whole load of very bemused fathers wondering why on earth anyone is getting all hot and bothered on an internet forum that they didn't get a bit a tatty paper with some glitter and balled up crepe paper stuck on it.

Any man who is a good man and father would be horrified at the potential hurt inflicted on any child made to create a Father's Day card.

My kid’s reception class made both mothers and Father’s Day cards. The fathers day cards all have ties on although I doubt any kid has a dad who wears a tie to work every day

@singsingbluesilver

I am just imaging a whole load of very bemused fathers wondering why on earth anyone is getting all hot and bothered on an internet forum that they didn't get a bit a tatty paper with some glitter and balled up crepe paper stuck on it.

Any man who is a good man and father would be horrified at the potential hurt inflicted on any child made to create a Father's Day card.

if this forum is anything to go by, you'd think many dads will be delighted that it's acknowledged they have nothing to do with school, and it's all the area of the mother who is the only one acknowledged there....and deal with it all.

Wow some of the comments. My child didn't make a Father's Day card, it's my responsibility as a parent to ensure he has a card to give his dad (we're divorced). I don't think I got a Mother's Day one either aside from a. Store brought card and I'm not fussed. My son is lucky to still have both his parents, albeit not together. There are many many children who aren't so fortunate, why on earth would I as a parent, want another child to feel bad because they had no mother/father to write a card too.
If you can't be responsible for your child buying or making a card, that's your issue, not the schools.

@ResIpsaLoquiturInterAlia

Just to put it out there in case I am misunderstood in my earlier up thread posts.

I stand by what I posted.

It is not the actual card or in class school activity but all about the significance and recognition of today as Father’s Day and other significant days to celebrate including Mother’s Day and indeed also other new development in legally recognised alternative adult lifestyles.

The card is in itself is of no massive significance as surely for a very child it is just another card, be it for father, mother, Christmas, new year, Easter, friend’s birthday or thank you card!

MumsNet is seemingly the online hub where the entitlement exceptionalism is norm ie pandering to that unique rare minority demographic and take away the feelings and enjoyment by the majority. So sure it is not ideal for that one child with no father or criminal father etc to be instructed to make a card or mark the day but what about everyone else. Do all their feelings don’t count. It’s not the card or arts and craft session it is cancel culture that is insensitive to the majority. The few children with unique circumstances (beyond their control) should be given special treatment to enjoy other things and not be a reason for cancel culture preventing others from what is right for them the majority of the class. Perhaps grandfather card alternatives if appropriate? Or if absolutely politically gender undefined a parents day card! Waiting for posters to now unnecessarily argue they never had a or two parents so how about grandpa or grandparent(s) card instead? This should be a happy celebration day not a day to bring up a troubled past. You surely want your child today to be a responsible and respectful parent tomorrow!?

ODFOD.

HTH

It's probably because they have a percentage of children without fathers around.

Dc always make Father's Day cards at school. It's a small school and I believe the vast majority live with both parents, if not their biological dad a father figure. But when I was at primary school (90's) I can't recall the class ever making Father's Day cards but we did make Mother's Day cards. I didn't have my dad around and quite a few of the class didn't either.

@Ingridla

Yes, sorry, I didn't read the whole thread *@brittleheadgirl*, how naive of me not to realise this would blow up into a bun fight over what we can and can't say or do.

For the record, my dad left when I was a baby, I lived in a tiny shit hole during my school years and I remember us having to illustrate where we lived, type of property, no. of rooms etc, which was humiliating as fuck when I'd been sent to a 'better' village college outside the city I lived and all my peers lives in big detached houses in the pretty village. There's always one kid that'll potentially be left feeling inferior or sad. It's life.

It is life. And so as adults if there is something we can do to help a child not feel so sad, then we should be doing that. Including not reminding them of an absent parent, whatever the reason for the absence maybe.

Not saying its their responsibility we always do it but occurred to me today that I have a selection of lovely cards made at school and he has none
So make them with your children at home?
Would have thought schools would be busy with catching up with reading and maths post lockdown.

I've come back because I've been thinking about your 'family unit' comment and how awful you sound.
You do know that a 'family unit' isn't just mum, dad and 2.4 kids?
A family unit can be literally any combination of adults and children, a single parent family, same sex couple family etc are all as much of a family unit as yours op.

I was thinking the same. I'd like to think dd and I are a family unit, it's quite illuminating to realise that others might see us as something less