To be a bit miffed that dc school did no cards for Father's day

[Glitteranddirt21]

Just wonder if anyone's dc school do anything for Father's day. The school do a mother's day shop where for a non school uniform day they take in a small gift that they then select from a shop later and wrap for us and always get a lovely card made for Mothers day but realised today that they never do anything for Father's day not even a card.

Just make the card at home.

It's not the schools job to celebrate Mothers or Fathers Day.

My son was the only child in the class without a father. All the class had to make Father’s Day cards. I think it’s awful. I know children who have to make Mother’s Day cards at school too and they don’t have a mother but they have to fit in. It’s awful. Do this stuff at home in your own families. It’s not fair to make children feel so awful.

So essentially, the short version is “I don’t care about the feelings of children”.

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No it is the exact opposite!

For children from challenging backgrounds to grow up and become good parents and give their children the right upbringing with a family structure they missed out on. It is not so much how hard you fallen but how fast you climb up. Those who make it to be somebody in society from troubled backgrounds beyond their control are the new heroes and setting an example for their peers. Even if your dad is in prison today or your mother had multiple partners with many step siblings - do you want this demographic to trend and become norm and the majority?

Do you want social issues to be fixed or just continue to disintegrate?

but by pretending that fathers are less important in the life of children in general, you carry on with the ridiculous stereotypes that children are the mums problem and responsibility.🤷

So either both, or none.

If you must do a card, do one for a loved one, pet included. Many little kids will think about their hamster or their dog before they even consider a sibling or remember their parent.

@cocoloco987

The school should treat M and F's Day equally. No reason why good fathers should suffer because of bad ones

Jeez!!! Poor SUFFERING men (bet they don't give a shit actually). Forget the upset children who, for multiple reasons , have no dad around. Just think of the men!!!

This. Like are you joking?! Sorry but I could not care less about a father not having a card made by his child at school compared to the suffering a little one has to go through when everyone else makes a Father’s Day card and they can’t. Same for Mother’s Day - I don’t think we should do either.

Of course it’s nice to have a homemade card. People can make them with their kids at home if they would like to. I don’t like this selfish attitude that the feelings of an adult trump those of a (possibly bereaved) child.

@ResIpsaLoquiturInterAlia

We should celebrate Father’s Day and Mother’s Day as it is respectful and sets an example for the next generations to follow.

As I said up thread we were all created by a mother and father, even those that have blended family structures or play identity gender politics adopted same sex couples etc and other diversity of new legally recognised relationships structures.

What world do we live in if society today can not celebrate Father’s Day or Mother’s Day (or any other day eg LGBT+etc) openly and freely in a free open society because we have to pander to a minority sensitive types.

Yes I recognise those poor children with family members in prison (perhaps not killers, convicted paedophiles and rapists so much!) or those that do not know who their biological fathers are or from other challenging dysfunctional or war zone refugees backgrounds - may be unduly disproportionally impacted but they still need to respect fathers and mothers. What would that little boy or girl become when he or she becomes a parent? What is the expectation? There are of course sensitivities in a number of limited circumstances beyond one’s control but I urge mums here to think about what society you want today and for tomorrow’s generations. Not everyone is from a non nuclear family. Respect should be for all whether you have parents or not. New woke cancel culture especially with traditions enjoyed by successive generations is now a part of diversity but formerly the norm. Diversity means recognition and respect for all including the majority or minority.

Today is Happy Farther’s Day so Happy Father’s Day father with pride! Those who take offence or feel discriminated should have alternative appropriate arrangements as to not discriminate against those who want to celebrate a natural phenomena and being grateful to their fit for purpose caring and loving father. Today is for positive celebrating not highlighting issues in a negative manner. Let’s be respectful and if necessary agree to disagree. Seemingly this is the new Brexit, vaccination division and polarisation. Why unnecessarily divide when we can unite and be grateful for how we arrived on Earth! Compassion should be for all for the many and the few.

My dad fucked off when I was a baby and I've never met him. I'm 51. My step father sexually abused me. Decent father figures didn't exist in my life and that's the case for a lot of people today, of all ages.

I'm a now a mother of 3 and perfectly capable of being a compassionate, caring parent without having grown up with the insistence that I recognise my useless father/stepfather's existence by creating a card for men who didn't deserve it or considered my feelings and needs so unimportant as to desert or abuse me.

So, very politely, no. You can take that sanctimony and actually shove it. Who do you think you are?

For children from challenging backgrounds to grow up and become good parents and give their children the right upbringing with a family structure they missed out on. It is not so much how hard you fallen but how fast you climb up. Those who make it to be somebody in society from troubled backgrounds beyond their control are the new heroes and setting an example for their peers. Even if your dad is in prison today or your mother had multiple partners with many step siblings - do you want this demographic to trend and become norm and the majority?

Do you want social issues to be fixed or just continue to disintegrate?

What about bereaved children? That's not a social issue...it's not a cycle you need to break

Yes ds 7 made dh a card at school

Of course it’s nice to have a homemade card. People can make them with their kids at home if they would like to. I don’t like this selfish attitude that the feelings of an adult trump those of a (possibly bereaved) child.

What about the children that do want to make a card for their father or acknowledge someone else and have no other opportunity to do so? Do they not count and matter?

@ResIpsaLoquiturInterAlia

So essentially, the short version is “I don’t care about the feelings of children”.

————————-

No it is the exact opposite!

For children from challenging backgrounds to grow up and become good parents and give their children the right upbringing with a family structure they missed out on. It is not so much how hard you fallen but how fast you climb up. Those who make it to be somebody in society from troubled backgrounds beyond their control are the new heroes and setting an example for their peers. Even if your dad is in prison today or your mother had multiple partners with many step siblings - do you want this demographic to trend and become norm and the majority?

Do you want social issues to be fixed or just continue to disintegrate?

Right, so committing a crime and having children by multiple partners are as bad as each other?

What about my god son who was anonymous donor conceived and has two loving mothers? Should he have to celebrate Father’s Day in order to demonstrate respect to his elders?

This is so ridiculous. Even if you could guarantee that every child in the classroom had a father to give the card to, isn't there anything better the teacher could be doing with them? It's not hard to buy or make a card at home.

@ResIpsaLoquiturInterAlia

So essentially, the short version is “I don’t care about the feelings of children”.

————————-

No it is the exact opposite!

For children from challenging backgrounds to grow up and become good parents and give their children the right upbringing with a family structure they missed out on. It is not so much how hard you fallen but how fast you climb up. Those who make it to be somebody in society from troubled backgrounds beyond their control are the new heroes and setting an example for their peers. Even if your dad is in prison today or your mother had multiple partners with many step siblings - do you want this demographic to trend and become norm and the majority?

Do you want social issues to be fixed or just continue to disintegrate?

So you think upsetting an already traumatised child is a positive thing?

Ah, I keep forgetting that me not making mothers or fathers day cards at school led to society disintegrating. My bad.

Maybe you could take care of it yourself OP, instead of expected the school to do it for you ...

isn't there anything better the teacher could be doing with them?

Craft activities are fun. I don’t like Mother’s Day or Father’s Day cards but you don’t have to use every second of the school day for curriculum studies.

@showerbeer

isn't there anything better the teacher could be doing with them?

Craft activities are fun. I don’t like Mother’s Day or Father’s Day cards but you don’t have to use every second of the school day for curriculum studies.

So do craft that doesn’t involve making Mother’s Day or Father’s Day cards! If you must make a card, make it for the next person whose birthday you plan to celebrate.

Mother's Day cards can be part of an RE lesson.
We had an Eid card sent home this year. We're not Muslim.
It's not to do with celebrating as such, it's to do with how the school interprets the curriculum.

@ObviousNameChage

Of course it’s nice to have a homemade card. People can make them with their kids at home if they would like to. I don’t like this selfish attitude that the feelings of an adult trump those of a (possibly bereaved) child.

What about the children that do want to make a card for their father or acknowledge someone else and have no other opportunity to do so? Do they not count and matter?

Its the parents job to assist them in making a card, if that doesn’t happen its a failure on the parents, if they fail it shows their children don’t matter to them. A parent choosing to be a crap parent is not a reason to upset children at school.

@quizqueen

The school should treat M and F's Day equally. No reason why good fathers should suffer because of bad ones

@quizqueen oh dear. I've been on mumsnet a long while and I've seen a lot of thoughtless posts but this takes the .

Are you seriously worrying about the feelings of the 'dads' in this situation- rather than those of the children?

Should the children whose fathers have died, or left home be made to feel pain so that 'good' fathers who haven't died don't suffer?!

If children want to give a Father's Day card then they can do so without any input from school.

Personally I think these celebrations should not be part of school as it causes a great deal of pain to some children.

Loosing a parent is brutally hard. Let's help where we can by not rubbing salt into the wound within a setting that children can't escape from.

@HaveringWavering as I said in that post and all my earlier ones, I don’t think we should make MD/FD cards. I have to, because I’m told to by SLT, but I would happily forgo them as I don’t think they are fair on the kids.

The other poster seemed to be saying that making things was a waste of time, so I was just disagreeing with that. Not defending cards for these occasions.

@ObviousNameChage frankly, when they can make a card at home, then whilst their feelings matter - no, they are not the most important ones in that situation.

Making a card as a craft activity is probably fun the first time, not doing it twice a year every year! I'm not down on craft or art at all, but not sure why this activity would need to be mandated for all.

Oh sorry, I see you said “have no other opportunity to do so” - that is unfortunate, but as I said in a previous post, when I was an LSA I had a 5 year old who had lost her mum to a very aggressive cancer at Christmas and we did Mother’s Day cards and she got upset (although she was making a card for her dad). It was horrible. I’d say in that situation her feelings trump the other children’s.

In my school there was usually around a third of the class who didn't see their dads so we never did fathers day. One year there was a little girl who's mum was dead so we skipped mothers day that year. Much much better for a few parents to be in a tizzy than for a kid to sit there feeling like shit through an activity that really isn't necessary

@Iggi999 my class of UKS2 kids enjoy the cards but realistically, it’s because it’s not a “proper lesson” rather than any real joy at crafting so I am with you there!

If children want to give a Father's Day card then they can do so without any input from school.

These type of comments are just as blinkered , insensitive and privileged as the "everyone must make one " brigade.

Two sides of a shitty coin , that forgets various children,their needs,their vulnerabilities.

Just like not all children have two parents present in their life, not all children have the opportunity and choice of making/buying a card outside of school.