To be a bit miffed that dc school did no cards for Father's day

[Glitteranddirt21]

Just wonder if anyone's dc school do anything for Father's day. The school do a mother's day shop where for a non school uniform day they take in a small gift that they then select from a shop later and wrap for us and always get a lovely card made for Mothers day but realised today that they never do anything for Father's day not even a card.

@quizqueen you are an absolute idiot

[quote showerbeer]@HaveringWavering as I said in that post and all my earlier ones, I don’t think we should make MD/FD cards. I have to, because I’m told to by SLT, but I would happily forgo them as I don’t think they are fair on the kids.

The other poster seemed to be saying that making things was a waste of time, so I was just disagreeing with that. Not defending cards for these occasions.[/quote]
Fair enough, I didn’t make the connection with your previous posts and that one read as if you were suggesting making those cards even though you didn’t like them, because you wanted to promote craft.

On a separate note, isn’t art part of the curriculum anyway though?

This thread. I can't decide if some posters genuinely believe the things they are posting here - that 'good' fathers have the right to a card made in school. That the rights of these men are more important than the emotional well being of children. That there must be parts of the country where it is impossible to purchase a card or card making facilities for yourself. That it 'woke' to protect hurt children from further potential hurt by simply missing out on an optional craft activity in the classroom.

Perhaps some posters are choosing to write such things because they want to provoke more outrage. Or maybe they do actually believe these things?

We did Mother’s Day cards this year, but not Fathers’ Day. I have a child who’s father died very recently, so it was just a no go this year. In previous years, I’ve had classes where we’ve avoided Mother’s Day cards for similar reasons. As parents, you aren’t aware of the home situations of the other children in the class, so there might be a good reason for not doing them. We try to use our judgement.

I’m not going to do Mother’s Day next year after reading all this.

Suits me! It’s quite stressful and it takes up quite a lot of time. More time for SPAG and target hitting. The important things.

All those plant pots, bulbs, card and glitter come out the class budget so it’s a win win situation.

@LoopTheLoops

I’m thrilled that my kids school didn’t do Father’s Day cards, their father is absent, what do you suggest for kids whose fathers are absent having to sit their and watch other kids make Father’s Day cards? I was so relieved they didn’t do it

Exactly this. Or you know, children of two mothers etc.

@HaveringWavering Good point - I remembered we actually make our cards specifically link to the DT curriculum, or so I’m told… how much real NC link it has is open to debate!

DD's nursery gave out sunflowers on Mother's Day (the kids had planted them in a plastic cup, with a little card with a poem on) and they did cards for Father's Day.

I can see why some schools/nurseries don't do that though as it must be upsetting for kids who don't have a dad or father figure around.

@showerbeer @SimonJT

I love how you both just assumed that the children can make a card at home or that they have another parent available to take that responsibility,whether they're willing or not.

And even if there is a parent/carer but they are unwilling to , that is not the child's fault.

I have children that only have one parent, I have children that are in foster care, I have children that live with grandparents, I have children whose parents hate each other and would never do /buy a card for the other, I have children that never see their mother the list is long.

And yes , to me they matter just as much all the other children. Their need to love,acknowledge and express that love whomever they aim it at , is just as important as other children's needs.

@singsingbluesilver

This thread. I can't decide if some posters genuinely believe the things they are posting here - that 'good' fathers have the right to a card made in school. That the rights of these men are more important than the emotional well being of children. That there must be parts of the country where it is impossible to purchase a card or card making facilities for yourself. That it 'woke' to protect hurt children from further potential hurt by simply missing out on an optional craft activity in the classroom.

Perhaps some posters are choosing to write such things because they want to provoke more outrage. Or maybe they do actually believe these things?

perhaps people are writing from a privileged position. Their children have an active/good dad and were expecting a homemade card from school to compliment the other things they've bought/made at home and were disappointed that they didn't get one, probably not considering that some children may have very difficult/non existing relationships with their dad or suffered from the loss of a dad.

I will admit that this was me, and I was disappointed, but reading this thread has massively opened my eyes. It's not always easy to be empathetic when you haven't considered some of the possibility.
But we now know for next year and won't question why or be 'miffed'

Mothering Sunday began as an explicitly religious event of the 16th Century, with no connection to mothers at all. The word "mothering" referred to the "mother church", which is to say the main church or cathedral of the region. It became a tradition that, on the fourth Sunday of Lent, people would return to their mother church for a special service. This pilgrimage was apparently known as "going a-mothering", and became something of a holiday event, with domestic servants traditionally given the day off to visit their own families as well as their mother church.

Father's Day was first celebrated in 1972 when US President Richard Nixon signed a declaration for it. The history of Father's Day dates back to 1908 when Sonora Smart Dodd celebrated it to honour her father. Father's Day is celebrated to acknowledge the efforts of fathers and to thank them for their efforts.

Possibly why Mothering Sunday is celebrated more. We were always told the context of it at school, how the servants returned to their home towns and villages.. It’s been a tradition for 500 years, whereas Father’s Day is relatively young, and probably has the MD of Hallmark Cards behind it to make it official!

@quizqueen

The school should treat M and F's Day equally. No reason why good fathers should suffer because of bad ones

Oh, mate...

Biancadelrioisback you are absolutely right. There are lots of things I don't understand until I have the opportunity to consider other points of view. It is not unusual for me to change my point of view on threads on MN after reading input from lots of posters.

My child's school does both. I think to do one and not the other is really odd. Reading responses today, I think schools should probably stop doing both.

Here's the thing: I cannot for the life of me understand why some people are so desperate about a card their child has been made to make at school.

Why is having one of these things so important to you? If your child, once s/he's old enough, makes one of her/his own volition at home - fabulous! Lovely!

But you're getting het up about a thing the child was directed to make in school? And into the bargain, not getting het up about how it might affect the children without said parent in their lives?

Just to put it out there in case I am misunderstood in my earlier up thread posts.

I stand by what I posted.

It is not the actual card or in class school activity but all about the significance and recognition of today as Father’s Day and other significant days to celebrate including Mother’s Day and indeed also other new development in legally recognised alternative adult lifestyles.

The card is in itself is of no massive significance as surely for a very child it is just another card, be it for father, mother, Christmas, new year, Easter, friend’s birthday or thank you card!

MumsNet is seemingly the online hub where the entitlement exceptionalism is norm ie pandering to that unique rare minority demographic and take away the feelings and enjoyment by the majority. So sure it is not ideal for that one child with no father or criminal father etc to be instructed to make a card or mark the day but what about everyone else. Do all their feelings don’t count. It’s not the card or arts and craft session it is cancel culture that is insensitive to the majority. The few children with unique circumstances (beyond their control) should be given special treatment to enjoy other things and not be a reason for cancel culture preventing others from what is right for them the majority of the class. Perhaps grandfather card alternatives if appropriate? Or if absolutely politically gender undefined a parents day card! Waiting for posters to now unnecessarily argue they never had a or two parents so how about grandpa or grandparent(s) card instead? This should be a happy celebration day not a day to bring up a troubled past. You surely want your child today to be a responsible and respectful parent tomorrow!?

@ObviousNameChage I didn’t realise you said children who had no other way to make one, hence why I responded to that in my other post, so don’t try that. There are plenty of children who won’t have the opportunity to do that, and that is shit. In an ideal world those children would be identified and given the opportunity to make something out of class but I know first hand that’s not realistic! Please don’t assume I am not experienced in working with vulnerable children.

We will have to agree to disagree. I feel the pain of a recently bereaved child sitting through a session where every child has to make a card is something that should be avoided at all costs.

I think yabu as it’s basically the other parent’s job to do (if they want there to be a card) not the school’s.

I also can see it upsets children who don’t have a father around, although making it for a father figure seems to be a positive new trend.

My son made a very lovely card for his dad at his school, lots more written in it than my Mother's Day one! He's in reception. Sorry you didn't get one, maybe informally ask the school if there's any reason they didn't partake this year?

@Ingridla

My son made a very lovely card for his dad at his school, lots more written in it than my Mother's Day one! He's in reception. Sorry you didn't get one, maybe informally ask the school if there's any reason they didn't partake this year?

Great idea Have you bothered to read the thread? I'm the person you would be asking tomorrow, please don't.

As a teacher whether I do anything on these occasions is really dependent on my class.

I haven’t done mother’s day or father day cards for the last few years as I’ve had children that both occasions would deeply upset. We do do thank you cards at various times in the year though to give children a chance to make things however.

DS made cards for both Mothers Day and Fathers day this year (in Reception).

YABU. My children are fortunate enough to have a loving involved mother and father. My appreciation of a lovely handmade card will never trump protecting a small child’s emotional well-being. I’d hate to be in a relationship with someone who was miffed the school didn’t make a card; lack of empathy is not an attractive trait.

This is really not about sacrificing the needs of the many for the needs of the few. It's about taking sensible decisions about a non essential school activity to avoid unnecessary upset.

Maybe there are some who would try to turn this into a woke gone mad argument - but I think they would be missing the point spectacularly.

@showerbeer it was literally in my first sentence. But I do apologise if I was unclear.

Tbh I don't know what my school would do in the case of a recent(parent) bereavement as it hasn't happened yet in the time I've been there.

As an aside, I always try to give time to children when they ask to make a birthday for their mum/dad/nan etc. Pure anecdata , must the majority of the kids that ask don't exactly come from the best environments or circumstances.