Page 10 | Wedding anniversary and I'm in tears

lala90 · 2021-06-20T11:00:11+00:00

Been married 7 years today, I went to a friends birthday last night and stayed over but was back by 9am and had left a card for him. I've walked into the house, his friends are all asleep on the sofa/floor house is a tip, he's in bed stinking of alcohol and hasn't got me a card. I'm sat in my garden in tears whilst they all eat bacon sandwiches, nursing their hangovers. I didn't expect anything other than a card and I feel really shit, I work my arse off, take care of the house, do all his admin for his business on top of a full time job, his laundry, and I don't even get a card on our anniversary? I feel like getting in the car and fucking off for the day, am I over reacting here?!

rainbowstardrops · 21/06/2021 07:23

I'd have been pissed off too OP. I wouldn't have let him sleep all day though, I'd have got his sorry arse up and moving! Hangover or no hangover.
It's quite telling that he thinks so little of your marriage to not bother on your anniversary and he didn't give a shit about the animals either.
Stupid man.

catwithflowers · 21/06/2021 08:18

@lala90 I'm astonished at all the posts defending your husband 😰. I would have reacted in exactly the same way as as you, feeling hurt, angry and upset. Relationships are about mutual respect, working together and kindness and sadly, there seems to be little of that in your marriage.

I would be questioning whether I wanted to stay in a relationship like this 🙁

GabriellaMontez · 21/06/2021 08:40

@Carbara

Awful that you cleaned their piss, and that he doesn’t do any housework ever. He must be spectacular in every other aspect of life for you to want to be married to him.

Agree. Must be rich, funny and an amazing shag. Or why would you put up with it?

Clymene · 21/06/2021 09:08

I'm wondering what you're doing there still too. He doesn't treat you with an ounce of respect.

Original poster

lala90 · 21/06/2021 09:26

@3Britnee I suggest you refer to the post where I addressed that I took care of the animals before posting. RTFT.

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Naunet · 21/06/2021 09:26

I can’t believe how many people think pissing on someones floor isn’t a big deal! Do you all piss on your friends floors when you go round their houses, or is it only acceptable behaviour from men?

Naunet · 21/06/2021 09:32

@Furries

I can’t quite believe the reactions on a few threads over the last few days. All involving intoxicated grown men - and loads of posters minimising and defending their actions.

There is a HUGE difference between having fun vs getting so shitfaced that you can’t do parental duty, clean up, get an anniversary card, kick mates out so you’re ready for your anniversary day, etc.

How is it that a group of women can get together, have quite a few drinks and still manage to be up and functional the next day - yet blokes get completely and utterly wasted and be totally useless the day after? And yet some women STILL defend and minimise their actions.

Absolutely this, but there have always been women who simper over dickhead men whilst holding women to a much higher standard.

bigbaggyeyes · 21/06/2021 09:53

I'm glad you didn't tidy up OP and hope you had as good a day as you could.

I get it's not just an anniversary card, I'd have been fuming over the mess too, add that to the complete lack of effort out into buying a card, I get why you were upset.

I'd also stop doing his paperwork too. You work full time and it's part of his job, let him do it for a change. Seems like he's taking you for granted

secondspringing · 21/06/2021 10:08

Except that most of us didn't say it's ok "for men". I don't know how people make it into "you all say man can".

Because there are sooo many incidents of 30 + women having parties, trashing the place, walking mud into the floors, sleeping over on sofas, pissing on the floors and leaving all their leftover shit around for their host's family to deal with. Face it, we hear these stories about men because its men who are more likely to think this is ok behaviour because they expect someone else will clear up after them.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 21/06/2021 10:28

@secondspringing

Except that most of us didn't say it's ok "for men". I don't know how people make it into "you all say man can".

Because there are sooo many incidents of 30 + women having parties, trashing the place, walking mud into the floors, sleeping over on sofas, pissing on the floors and leaving all their leftover shit around for their host's family to deal with. Face it, we hear these stories about men because its men who are more likely to think this is ok behaviour because they expect someone else will clear up after them.

It's just that our man don't go on mn write about us when it happens to us once in few years🙈 And we can obviously hit toilet target easily even when drunk (though ladies toilets in pubs beg to differ).

No one said it's ok for him to expect her to clean up though. You are all getting off early posts when it was not clear he will simply leave it for her. Shit happens. Fine. Clean it. He took all day, at that point everyone, no matter how tolerant we are as far as I can see we all agree THAT is not ok.
But shitty party, make mess, clean up to the orevious standard. Can happen to anyone once in a while.

So stop with the "you have low standards" and "women would NEVER do that" and "you are all minimising" stuff. It's stupid now after everyone said, as the story progressed his behaviour became unacceptable.

secondspringing · 21/06/2021 10:53

It's just that our man don't go on mn write about us when it happens to us once in few years🙈

Ok, if you are determined to fantasise that this is an entirely gender neutral event, and women do this to their mates' house every few years, you go ahead. The rest of us are more able to recognise socialised male and female behaviour.

CandidaAlbicans2 · 21/06/2021 10:53

he doesn't do anything around the house usually

Why is that @lala90?

SchrodingersImmigrant · 21/06/2021 10:54

@secondspringing

It's just that our man don't go on mn write about us when it happens to us once in few years🙈

Ok, if you are determined to fantasise that this is an entirely gender neutral event, and women do this to their mates' house every few years, you go ahead. The rest of us are more able to recognise socialised male and female behaviour.

Well i am a guy then I guess🤷🏻

Naunet · 21/06/2021 12:06

Well i am a guy then I guess

No, just a rude arsehole if you think trashing your friends houses and leaving without clearing up, is acceptable behaviour.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 21/06/2021 12:19

Except that I am absolutely with people on the fact they should have clean it up before leaving!

Maray1967 · 21/06/2021 12:28

Pizza mess, sticky kitchen work surfaces eg. - he and/or the friends clean it up and it could be done later. I’d not kick off about that. But piss all over the toilet seat and on the bathroom floor from adults? Really? I would be screaming at my DH to get up and clean it up - now.

Naunet · 21/06/2021 13:32

@SchrodingersImmigrant

Except that I am absolutely with people on the fact they should have clean it up before leaving!

Great, so you can see why she was pissed off after all.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 21/06/2021 13:35

Oh my god this is like talking to a fucking wall.
9am everyone just woke up and party got out of hand - happens, unreasonable to be crying straight away about it. It's early.
Everyone fucked off, he didn't clean it - reasonable to be VERY pissed off.
I, and others, never even said anything else ffs.

BackforGood · 21/06/2021 14:45

100% with you SchrodingersImmigrant

Because there are sooo many incidents of 30 + women having parties, trashing the place, walking mud into the floors, sleeping over on sofas, pissing on the floors and leaving all their leftover shit around for their host's family to deal with. Face it, we hear these stories about men because its men who are more likely to think this is ok behaviour because they expect someone else will clear up after them.

That might happen in your life, secondspringing but it doesn't in mine. Maybe you need to look at the people you are mixing with, because that really isn't typical in the world I live in.

This thread is about one woman's dh (and his mates) and her reaction to his 'wrongdoing'. (which only evolved during the day, and wasn't an issue for most people at 9am). It it ridiculous to then claim men go around doing this sort of thing all the time and women never do.

OrlandointheWilderness · 21/06/2021 18:25

I don't think you are overreacting at all! Why is that okay!? It's completely irrelevant what other people think of getting cards - it matters to YOU and he knows that (I love it too!). Telling you he was going in the afternoon but you were already pissed off is so unfair! Just shitty behaviour all round I think.

rwalker · 21/06/2021 19:56

@Naunet

They hadn't even got up they hadn't had chance to tidy up

Thevoiceofreason2021 · 21/06/2021 20:03

He’s taking the piss royally. Tell him you are off out for the day as he couldn’t be arsed to celebrate your wedding anniversary. Go do something nice - a pedicure , facial, shopping - beach, whatever you fancy. Call a friend? Hook up on tinder?

Original poster

lala90 · 21/06/2021 21:30

@Thevoiceofreason2021 this made me laugh 😂 thank you

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