DH thinks this is disgusting

[ScottsThots]

Feel free to absolutely let me have it but me out please.
We live in a house with a downstairs toilet/bathroom which is the absolute bane of my existence 🙄
I'm 33 weeks pregnant so I feel like I need to have a wee basically every half hour these days. I've been managing going downstairs every night when I wake up for the past few months but I've reached the end of my tether. I just can't do it anymore 😭😭 My back aches, my bump is in the way, I'm exhausted and nauseated and I'm just ready to have baby already 😑
I need multiple trips to the toilet and I just can handle going downstairs that many times in one night.

So yes I have bought myself a little travel potty with a lid which I use. 🙈🙈🙈
It's out on the landing so not in our bedroom and I empty it and clean it first thing in the morning I swear!

It's made such a difference to me but DH thinks it's absolutely disgusting.
I know he has every right to think that but what would you do in my shoes 😅 AIBU?

I also nearly tripped on the stairs a few times because I'm half asleep going down them.
We're currently house hunting and definitely won't be making the same mistake going for downstairs loo.

I absolutely understand why you've gone for this but I would still think it's gross if I were your DH. I wouldn't try to make you get rid of it or anything but I wouldn't like it.

Tell him things are going to way more disgusting

Could you think about switching rooms. Moving bedroom downstairs and sitting room upstairs

I thought ...,if she's using a bucket it's a bit off, but a proper porta potty is no different to any other loo

I think it’s a bit grim, sorry 😳
Stagnant piss?

I don’t remember stairs being so bad when pregnant, but I could imagine crouching on a potty being pretty hard when heavily pregnant.

I would also suggest a she-wee. The lady campers best friend.

@Hallyup6

I agree with your husband. It's disgusting. Pregnancy doesn't prevent you from walking down the staircase, even with all the aches and pains. In fact, it'll do you good to keep active. The only reason I'd think otherwise is if you had severe SPD and were on crutches.

No it doesn't. I haven't had a problem going downstairs until recently. The frequency is just too ridiculous. It's okay if it's once a night. But 3 times or more is out of hand

It's fine and a good idea in the circumstances. It's not like you're asking him to empty it.

In a few decades when his prostate starts giving him trouble, he'll want his own upstairs potty for the many times he'll be up in the night.

I have a family member who needs a commode because they have fallen several times trying to get themselves to the bathroom during the night. They think it's disgusting themselves - but understand that it is the safer option and that is the most important thing. So yes, it might be a bit grim but if it is safer than you going up and down the stairs multiple times a night and pregnancy does throw your balance - I am always far, far more probe to falls when pregnant - so I do think it is safer. It won't be forever, in fact it won't be for very long at all now and seeing as he is not the one going through the pregnancy or labour he can keep his opinions to himself

If he thinks that's gross how will he cope with pooey and weey nappies? Of course it's not gross! Why would it be?

Poor you! Pregnancy can be so uncomfortable, undignified and downright painful sometimes.

I'm quite concerned about a heavily pregnant woman crouching over a potty though. I'm sure it must be possible to borrow or hire a commode for a few weeks. In fact I know it is as a lady I cared for had one short term from a mobility centre before going into residential care. Please look into something like that for your safety, if you have room for it. You've potentially got another nine weeks of this.

There's nothing wrong with wee in a tub overnight, to pps, if you keep a lid on it.
Best of luck and wake DH to escort you if he continues to tell you it's disgusting!

Maybe he’s been up in the night and seen your wee in it. It’s gross to me but then I don’t even want to see anyone brush their teeth so I am weird. Saying that I had a wee in a potty a few years ago when I was having new windows installed, the bedrooms were finished first so I closed the curtain and wee’d very quick..you have to do what’s right for you

@burritofan

Do what you need.

Similarly after my c-section I could barely move, did too much and was advised to wee in a potty rather than struggle to our bathroom. Pissed in a mixing bowl in our room for a few nights… widdled on the floor once thanks to sleep deprivation. DP cleaned it up and brought me cake. Because I was the one who carried and birthed the baby. The END.

An example to all DPs.

Put him on nappy duty ASAP.

No uterus? No opinion!

Not disgusting, great idea.

Good for you to those if you manage with your multiple disabilities, carrying quadruplets, 7 flights of stairs, insert any other 'I've got it / had it worse' ailment here. Seriously, well done, but everyone is different, and OP is struggling. That's not to say she will struggle when the baby gets here either.

OP, if your husband is finding it 'disgusting' then do as a PP said and wake him up every single time as you don't feel safe going down the stairs. I'm sure he would be more forgiving of a potty that is emptied and cleaned every single morning than being sleep deprived before the baby even comes.

@gingerandproud4always - me too! It was only when people started saying their bathroom was downstairs i cottoned on

@EBearhug

People used to keep chamber pots under the bed in case they needed it in the middle of the night. A bucket with a lid is better. And as said, he can have an opinion once he is the pregnant one.

My grandparents house not only had a downstairs loo , it was outside . You had to go through the back kitchen door and into the garden then take a sharp right into the loo. Genuine bucket under a wooden seat affair.

Bad enough in summer, try doing it in the middle of winter. Hell yes they had pots under the beds!

On a positive note he grew the most amazing blackcurrents.

I agree with your husband. It's disgusting. Pregnancy doesn't prevent you from walking down the staircase, even with all the aches and pains. In fact, it'll do you good to keep active. The only reason I'd think otherwise is if you had severe SPD and were on crutches

Nobody needs to 'keep active' 3-4 times in the middle of the night. That's when you're suppose to be resting.

Great idea. Ignore him

I never liked the pot under the bed even as a young child when the toilet was at the far end of a dark yard. I remember my gran saying how surprised she was when I got out of bed and insisted on having the back door open so I could go.

Could you move your bedroom downstairs for the last few weeks?

I'd tell him it's fine if he thinks it's disgusting buy the alternative is for a downstairs room (living room?) to be turned into a temporary bedroom, which means putting a bed in it and it becomes your space not a space for communal use for TV etc. If he doesn't like that idea then tell him you've come up with two suggestions now, both of which he dislikes, so it's on him now to come up with another suitable solution and until he does you'll be continuing with the potty. His feelings do not trump your welfare and this is a lesson he needs to learn now.