DH thinks this is disgusting

[ScottsThots]

Feel free to absolutely let me have it but me out please.
We live in a house with a downstairs toilet/bathroom which is the absolute bane of my existence 🙄
I'm 33 weeks pregnant so I feel like I need to have a wee basically every half hour these days. I've been managing going downstairs every night when I wake up for the past few months but I've reached the end of my tether. I just can't do it anymore 😭😭 My back aches, my bump is in the way, I'm exhausted and nauseated and I'm just ready to have baby already 😑
I need multiple trips to the toilet and I just can handle going downstairs that many times in one night.

So yes I have bought myself a little travel potty with a lid which I use. 🙈🙈🙈
It's out on the landing so not in our bedroom and I empty it and clean it first thing in the morning I swear!

It's made such a difference to me but DH thinks it's absolutely disgusting.
I know he has every right to think that but what would you do in my shoes 😅 AIBU?

I also nearly tripped on the stairs a few times because I'm half asleep going down them.
We're currently house hunting and definitely won't be making the same mistake going for downstairs loo.

I don't think it's disgusting but I do think it's a bit OTT 😅

He's going to have a bit of a shock when you go into labour and the baby comes...

FFS men just piss me off...

Just pee on him (not in a kinky golden shower way!)

Has he ever pissed outside? That is far more disgusting than pee in a covered container.

You are all one minor car accident away from being temporarily incontinent....

If pee does get on the carpet. Mop up with an old towel. Standing on towel soaks up most wee. Spray with antibac spray. Stops the smell.

Works for milk, poo and vomit once they have been cleaned up.

My aunt had an outside loo. Down the steep stairs, out the backdoor, across the back and side of the other cottages, cross the road, past the nettles and the neighbours loo to the unlit loo.

Oh and not everyone experiences pregnancy the same way.

I shat on my husband in labour. I suggest he gets used to wee in a bucket pronto

@Soubriquet

I lived in a house like that whilst I was pregnant and was seriously considering getting a commode by the end of it

I don’t blame you at all

Me too! I don't blame you OP!

Give him the choice of the potty or moving your bedroom downstairs (if it is possible)

It’s not gross.
It’s abit TMI maybe. Gross no. Pissing the bed... on purpose. Well.. now that would be gross.

33 weeks here too. My version of this is the little lunchboxes I've been using to be sick in (have been sick throughout this pregnancy). Sometimes we're watching a film and I'm just puking in a lunchbox! I don't feel remotely apologetic about it and I don't think you should either. We're growing our children and it's really difficult. All the best to you in your pregnancy. X

When I was pregnant with my youngest I suffered with Symphysis pubis dysfunction (I did have to google the spelling/name just now as it was over 10 years ago) SPD in short.... It is fairly common and can make moving at all painful. Walking, and climbing stairs could be awful! Turning over in bed felt like my pubic area was ripping, it involved having physiotherapy and using aids. Luckily I didnt often need to pee in the night (if ever). If you know, you know. I physically breezed through my first pregnancy prior. People need to realise maybe their experience was different and to be thankful. Or more importantly just be a kind person, even if you do feel better belittling someone over a screen being anon

@Hallyup6

I agree with your husband. It's disgusting. Pregnancy doesn't prevent you from walking down the staircase, even with all the aches and pains. In fact, it'll do you good to keep active. The only reason I'd think otherwise is if you had severe SPD and were on crutches.

This opinion made me mad!!! It's an absolutely awful story but I know of a pregnant mother who fell down the stairs and died in the same situation just having to use their downstairs bathroom. Some people are absolutely so entitled and ignorant. It's actually just wee!!!

When he is in your situation he can pass comment!

I had 2 slipped discs when I was pregnant with my 2nd and not going to lie - the upstairs toilet was a struggle so I feel your pain! Do what you need to - it's not forever.

Also point out that when potty training there is going to be more than pee in a pot so he better get use to it (plus nappies are going to be far worse - leaking wee and poop and random times).

If he can't cope with this, how's he going to cope with a baby 😂

Surely the benefits of having it downstairs in the day, where you are for more hours and using the toilet possibly even more often outweighs the pita of nighttime where you are for less time and not drinking as much/going quite as often? Not that that's actually relevant to your problem just a point to think about for future house hunting etc (ie make sure there are 2 toilets 😆)

You're about to have a baby so your partner is going to have to get used to a bit of bodily fluids fast both from you and in the longer term, his child. Please look in to a camping style toilet though as the travel potty doesn't sound very comfortable for you or terribly safe. You can get ones that are essentially a toilet seat on what looks like a walking frame that is a normal toilet height very cheaply. The bucket under is very easy to clean. Beat of luck for the rest of your pregnancy

It’s a great idea, old school bed pan. Although there is another solution. Get him to move your bed downstairs for you to sleep in and he can sleep on the floor upstairs on his own. Then he might get the slightest glimmer of how uncomfortable you are in the night!!!

I fell downstairs at 10 to midnight last week half asleep at 36 weeks pregnant. Luckily landed bottom first but have been advised that I’ve likely refractured my coccyx from a previous snowboard injury. I’m now 37 weeks pregnant, can’t sit and have a lot of pain on walking with limited pain killer options. I am also now very worried about giving birth as there has been very little healing in a week due to the effects of the relaxin hormone.
Please, please, please, do not do what I did and do not attempt the stairs once you’ve been asleep, mine is a long awaited 6 year ivf baby and it’s just not worth the risk.
@cherish123 shame on you

@IAmAWomanNotACis

Do the people who think it's disgusting also think nappy bins are disgusting?

Yes. If I have GC here I always put nappies in the outside bin unless there is a middle of the night change, then I take it downstairs and it goes in bin to go outside first thing. I wouldn't leave it lying around upstairs.

@Ancientgran why is it less disgusting when it's downstairs? (genuine question - I can't see any difference if it's well wrapped and doesn't smell)

Only semi ancient and not a gran, but I too think nappy bins are disgusting and wouldn’t have one on my landing. It’s really best to keep moving during pregnancy. Getting up and walking a couple of dozen steps or so is probably a good thing for you and the baby. Pregnant women aren’t disabled or ill, they are pregnant and unless there are extra issues I really think you can and should walk to the toilet.

Has he never been camping? Its just wee for Gods sake.
When I was a child 70 years ago lots of people had outside toilets and we just had a chamber pot under the bed for night time wees.

I worked for years as a carer and some older people in the community have "chamber pots" even today. So its not weird or disgusting
Not long to go

I used to live in a house like that when I was pg with my ds who is now 19, the bathroom was downstairs and I'd have to walk through the kitchen which didn't have blinds, I slept naked and so would have to get dressed to go pee. I ended up peeing in an old fashioned goldfish bowl upstairs and carrying it downstairs every morning, obviously it was a ball shape so my pee would be swirling round and round, lol. I was pg and couldn't have cared less. Lol. I had 2 loos upstairs by pg2.

It's a sensible solution IMO. I grew up with a downstairs bathroom and my mum fell down the stairs one night going to the bathroom as she was a heavy sleeper and would be very groggy. After that she kept a bucket on the landing.

I have contemplated doing this myself. Our bathroom is downstairs at the back of the house and I'm 34+5 weeks x

Not gross at all.. it’s only wee? What’s his problem! You’re not asking him to clean it! He’d rather you potentially fell down the stairs?! My husband sometimes sleeps downstairs as he snores and so doesn’t wake me, wees in a bottle then pours it away the next day! I don’t care.