DH thinks this is disgusting

[ScottsThots]

Feel free to absolutely let me have it but me out please.
We live in a house with a downstairs toilet/bathroom which is the absolute bane of my existence 🙄
I'm 33 weeks pregnant so I feel like I need to have a wee basically every half hour these days. I've been managing going downstairs every night when I wake up for the past few months but I've reached the end of my tether. I just can't do it anymore 😭😭 My back aches, my bump is in the way, I'm exhausted and nauseated and I'm just ready to have baby already 😑
I need multiple trips to the toilet and I just can handle going downstairs that many times in one night.

So yes I have bought myself a little travel potty with a lid which I use. 🙈🙈🙈
It's out on the landing so not in our bedroom and I empty it and clean it first thing in the morning I swear!

It's made such a difference to me but DH thinks it's absolutely disgusting.
I know he has every right to think that but what would you do in my shoes 😅 AIBU?

I also nearly tripped on the stairs a few times because I'm half asleep going down them.
We're currently house hunting and definitely won't be making the same mistake going for downstairs loo.

I'll go against the grain here, and say it is a bit grim to me. If I was that desperate to need the loo multiple times in the night (that wasn't an issue for me but I accept all pregnancies are different) I would probably move my bed downstairs rather than be pissing in a potty on the landing. That said, I find potties unpleasant generally and my children never used them, they went straight from nappies to the toilet.

I think your husband is allowed to have an opinion that it's not pleasant, but if the reality is that you have to wee multiple times every night then short of him moving your bed downstairs this is the only solution.

Is he serious? Alternatives:

Sleep downstairs (alone - lovely)

Get some nappies

Wet the bed

I also recommend policing his hygiene from now on as he may be doing absolutely disgusting things without realising. First of all, definitely stand outside the bathroom when he's going to the toilet and remind him to wash his hands.

You should also remind him to 'wash his hands more often and for longer, try singing happy birthday twice to be really sure'

Get some disinfectant and wipe down any surfaces his bum goes on just in case any poo germs get out.

Hire a cleaner.

Refuse to wash any laundry of his in case his pants have drops of wee on them and that would be unsafe for the baby.

If he burps or farts, open a window immediately and start gagging then pretend to call 999 to ask if his emissions will be safe for the baby

@iklboo

Why have you been going to the downstairs toilet?

He's going to be in for a shock with nappies & toilet training isn't he?

I think the decor in the upstairs one is a bit dated. Seriously??

My Mil got me a commode when I had a downstairs loo at my pregnancy time.

Uptodate version … Thetford portapotti are brilliant.

We have one for camping.

@gingerandproud4always - maybe read my post after that????

Next time he wants to put his penis near you tell him it's disgusting because piss comes out of it.

@iklboo. Yes, sorry and to be fair I had to re read the sentence as it looked like she has a downstairs bathroom. Not that the bathroom is downstairs if that makes sense.

Does he even see it? It's on the landing, you clean it every morning, what's he doing, popping out to the landing for a peek?

It's a great idea, whatever works for you.

As others have said he's in for a real shock when your child is being potty trained, one of mine could only go when he placed the potty right next to your legs 😂😂

@Kokosrieksts

It’s ok. If he makes another comment, wake him up every time you need the loo and ask him to hold your hand down the stairs :D

I came on to say this

Unpopular opinion, but I wouldn't be very happy about this if I were your husband. I found potties unpleasant even when I was a small child.

Goodness. My DH is physically disabled and still goes downstairs for a pee in the night.

I was on crutches in my last pregnancy for SPD and I still went downstairs for a pee at night.

Everyone saying your DH is in for a shock when the baby arrives, I can't help but think you will be too if backache, tiredness and a bump is stopping you from going to your bathroom.

Do what you need.

Similarly after my c-section I could barely move, did too much and was advised to wee in a potty rather than struggle to our bathroom. Pissed in a mixing bowl in our room for a few nights… widdled on the floor once thanks to sleep deprivation. DP cleaned it up and brought me cake. Because I was the one who carried and birthed the baby. The END.

It's temporary to ease your discomfort

DH needs to get over it

It's scary to think of you half-asleep on the stairs, multiple times a night.

Absolutely wake him up every time to help you so you don't fall.

I'm actually furious about his selfish attitude.

Just get a commode. That's what they're for. Comfortable and above all - SAFE. I just looked on eBay and you can get one for £30.

He needs to grow up!! Totally fair enough OP, I’d do the same xx

Has he really never heard of a goes-under?

This must be your first baby? How he will love dealing with vomit and all the other fluids that are included with a baby!

Its no more disgusting than a toddler using a potty, its to enable you to have a less disrupted nights sleep while heavily pregnant, well done for the intitative, brilliant idea Op x

Does he realise that your baby, that he's going to hug, kiss, snuggle etc is going to come out of your fanjo????

I agree with your husband. It's disgusting. Pregnancy doesn't prevent you from walking down the staircase, even with all the aches and pains. In fact, it'll do you good to keep active. The only reason I'd think otherwise is if you had severe SPD and were on crutches.

If I had a comfortable way to do so, I'd start sleeping downstairs!

But yes, he's being ridiculously precious for a man who will soon be dealing with baby poo and other assorted... substances. You're not using the potty in his presence or asking him to clean it for you, so it's of no concern to him!

My parents had an outdoor toilet in an upstairs flat. Mum fell down the stairs when pregnant with me. Dad immediately offered the landlord to pay to put toilet in. So no YANBU

@ArcheryAnnie

He's going to have to get used to the concept of dealing with other people's wee in a few weeks anyway.

And yeah, if he had a bladder the size of a teacup due to a baby sitting on it, he'd be entitled to have an opinion on your current arrangement. He doesn't, so he doesn't.

See how he is when he gets a prostate problem. He’d better look to moving house some time soon 🤣

Wait till he has to catch vomit with his bare hands whilst on a trip so as not to stain the interior of the car.

Or he has to suck the snot out of baby's nose using one of those nose sucker things.

Or cleaning up after baby has done a huge poo up it's back, the baby gro is stuck to the child and the shit is even in it's hair.

Wait till he has to clean out a potty, or even worse a potty that has tipped over and has now stained your carpet.

I can think of so many more things about being a parent that are more gross than a commode in the 33rd week of pregnancy but I'll let him discover all that himself.

Good luck with the rest of the pregnancy OP!

Not disgusting, thought it was gonna be a saucepan you use for porridge in the morning the way you were going on about it 😅 it's just a chamber pot. Put it right outside the bedroom door for him to step in if you want to show him what really disgusting is