DH thinks this is disgusting

[ScottsThots]

Feel free to absolutely let me have it but me out please.
We live in a house with a downstairs toilet/bathroom which is the absolute bane of my existence 🙄
I'm 33 weeks pregnant so I feel like I need to have a wee basically every half hour these days. I've been managing going downstairs every night when I wake up for the past few months but I've reached the end of my tether. I just can't do it anymore 😭😭 My back aches, my bump is in the way, I'm exhausted and nauseated and I'm just ready to have baby already 😑
I need multiple trips to the toilet and I just can handle going downstairs that many times in one night.

So yes I have bought myself a little travel potty with a lid which I use. 🙈🙈🙈
It's out on the landing so not in our bedroom and I empty it and clean it first thing in the morning I swear!

It's made such a difference to me but DH thinks it's absolutely disgusting.
I know he has every right to think that but what would you do in my shoes 😅 AIBU?

I also nearly tripped on the stairs a few times because I'm half asleep going down them.
We're currently house hunting and definitely won't be making the same mistake going for downstairs loo.

know he has every right to think that

I don't think so- I mean he can feel however he feels but he shouldn't make a 'thing' of it when it's for your health etc/something you need.

@CorianderBee I don't get this... move the bedroom how? A heavily pregnant women move a bed that she shares into.. where? The living room thus requiring the sofa to be moved?

I didn't think she'd move the bed. It isn't unusual to move a bed downstairs if someone is unable to use the stairs, I've had it happen in my family more than once. Personally I'd rather have a bed in the living room than a pot of piss on the landing.

He has a problem being so ready to disgust.

For God’s sake he needs to grow up!! How does it actually affect him?

I don't think it's gross at all. How does he think bed-bound elderly people pee at home if they don't have a catheter?!
If its a case of your safety, while pregnant, on the stairs at night then it's a no brainer!

All those thinking a pot is odd clearly never lived in old houses and big old country houses back when. My GPs house was rambling so I would have to go down some backstairs, across a pantry, through the back hall, across the kitchen and another hall and then to the front hall to the downstairs loo. Age 5 I preferred a pot under my bed. My DH's family had at least 5 people at a time and one downstairs loo. And as a PP has said, 5 people and one upstairs loo has the same problems.

I've used them since while camping or trying not to disturb people in (largely continental) holiday accommodation. A heavily pregnant woman needing to urinate 3 times a night should have a commode somewhere, however, not peeing over a pot. A she-wee would still need to be downloaded after 3 times!

OP as you were, or get your husband to take your bed downstairs so you can pee as he wants you to. Ask him not to disturb you at all.

And I nominate "why are you using the downstairs loo?" for the Tatler "Least understanding of average life" award. The prize should be a pot.

Would have bought a commode to get comfortable x

If your husband has only EVER urinated in a toilet (and never behind a tree, in a dark alley after the pub, behind a wall, in a bottle on a long journey, and has never been painfully desperate), I could possibly understand why he might think that. But if he's struggled and relieved himself anywhere other than a toilet, he's not in a position to judge. And as he's never been pregnant, he won't know that a pregnant wee is way more annoying and essential than a beer wee. Since you can't swap roles, he should just let you get on with it. I love your ingenuity!

Tell him you’ll piss on his side of the bed If he doesn’t pipe down!

You need a Kampa Kharzi! We have one for camping (and DS used it when he was too ill to make it across the landing to the loo when he was about 5 years old) Marvellous invention!

Look, we've spent less time (in the evolution of humans) with inside toilets than we have with chamber pots. In years gone by it was usual to have a pot under the bed rather than traipse, in the middle of the night, down the end of the garden to the loo or into the communal one three flights down. It's only in the last 50 or 60 years that we've had inside toilets in most homes and with it has come this 'twee-ness' about having a wee!

You do what you need to do. As someone said, wait until he's doing potty training. A lidded, cleaned out potty will be a blessing then.

When DH and I were dating he lived at home but in the Attic with a ladder for access. I ended up buying a she wee as middle of the night visits to to toilet were tedious plus now fil used to spend a good 20/30 mins in bathroom on a morning and when I wake up I NEED a wee. I can't wait that long.

YANBU

[quote ancientgran]**@CorianderBee* I don't get this... move the bedroom how? A heavily pregnant women move a bed that she shares into.. where? The living room thus requiring the sofa to be moved?*

I didn't think she'd move the bed. It isn't unusual to move a bed downstairs if someone is unable to use the stairs, I've had it happen in my family more than once. Personally I'd rather have a bed in the living room than a pot of piss on the landing.[/quote]
People must have wider staircases than me then as we'd have to completely dismantle the bed and sofa in order to move things around like that. It would take an entire day. A bucket takes five minutes and it's only a bit of wee.

Bless him, you wait til you poop yourself when you give birth and watch that dappy sod slide to the floor! lol

Not gross at all...wee is very clean isn't it? lol, if it were me my husband would be the one cleaning it out! You're doing all the hard work here, let him go through some of it! lol x

Wee is the least of his problems. When I gave birth to DS2, some poo shot out and almost hit my DH in the face.

Why do so many people think wee is clean???

We had the exact same thing, I was huge and couldn’t keep going up and down the stairs. Husband actually came up with the idea of a potty!

Just be very careful when taking said potty downstairs to empty, my foot slipped one time and I ended up falling and soaking myself in my own wee 😂

Do whatever you need too! Those last few weeks can be unbearable, particularly in the warmer months. I would look for a more long term solution such as a commode. You could potentially have an emergency c section, and I found going up/down stairs was very painful.

I would tell him to get fucked if I’m being honest.

You are right to use whatever makes you and your unborn child safe,it sounds as if you are going to make a great Mum, I think he needs to
Keep quiet and help you those remarks aren’t helping, try a fold up commode if it gets too difficult, they are cheap and can be put in a cupboard during the day it’s easy to keep clean. Who knows one day he made go into hospital and need a bed pan bet he changes his tune then

He's hugely BU! How does he think the fancy Victorians / Georgian (even high society) manage without plumbing? and that was much worse as you aer only using it ahem...lightly.

I'd understand his disgust if this was for ALL your toilet needs, but just a few weeing trips at night - he's ridiculous! there is a lid on it FFS!
What if he sprained his ankle and had to recover in bed upstairs?

I absolutely would pee the bed on purpose next time.

Tell him you will wake him to carry you down the stairs every time instead

Get yourself a camping toilet from go outdoors, taller for you, with a lid.
If you put a bin bag in it with some cat litter it really helps contain any smells, absorbs the liquid just in case of any smells. We have one for camping it works great for us so we don't trip over the guy ropes on our way to the toilet blocks 🤭

Just like this

If he thinks that’s disgusting (it’s temporary, it’s for your comfort and safety so don’t blame you), then he’s in for a few shocks when the next 7 weeks are up 🤣