DH thinks this is disgusting

[ScottsThots]

Feel free to absolutely let me have it but me out please.
We live in a house with a downstairs toilet/bathroom which is the absolute bane of my existence 🙄
I'm 33 weeks pregnant so I feel like I need to have a wee basically every half hour these days. I've been managing going downstairs every night when I wake up for the past few months but I've reached the end of my tether. I just can't do it anymore 😭😭 My back aches, my bump is in the way, I'm exhausted and nauseated and I'm just ready to have baby already 😑
I need multiple trips to the toilet and I just can handle going downstairs that many times in one night.

So yes I have bought myself a little travel potty with a lid which I use. 🙈🙈🙈
It's out on the landing so not in our bedroom and I empty it and clean it first thing in the morning I swear!

It's made such a difference to me but DH thinks it's absolutely disgusting.
I know he has every right to think that but what would you do in my shoes 😅 AIBU?

I also nearly tripped on the stairs a few times because I'm half asleep going down them.
We're currently house hunting and definitely won't be making the same mistake going for downstairs loo.

Would DP prefer you fall down the stairs in the middle of the night and break your neck/lose the baby?

He is an idiot!

[quote StardewMelons]@roobicoobi I didn't mention my thoughts on 'WHY' OP does use a potty. My point entirely is people commenting on how "gross" the action of using a potty is, IMO is very insensitive to people who have no choice due to disability etc.......Nasty.[/quote]

But these people you mentioned using a commode because they have to. Not a potty in the landing because they cba. You can try to remove the 'why' as much as you like but it is entirely relevant.

@roobicoobi

In my experience any house that has a downstairs bathroom also has a very steep narrow staircase. And the bathroom is usually located at the back of the house next to the kitchen

Your experience is minimal.

I live in an ex council 50s house with a bathroom opposite the bottom of the stairs. Stairs are normal, not narrow or steep.

I stand corrected then!

I’ve never seen a downstairs bathroom located off the hallway.

@roobicoobi Again, I wasn't comparing reasons behind using a potty. Imagine being a user of a commode scrolling through this thread where there is comment after comment saying "gross" to the action of using a potty. Do you not see how that might be a bit hurtful/insensitive? Yes I know a disabled person might have no choice in the matter and OP does have a choice, it was not at all what I was saying.

It’s just urine, hardly like you’re leaving a big dump in the hallway overnight plus you’re cleaning it up so not expecting him to. He’s being ridiculous, he will have to deal with lots of piss and shit over the next few years.

He understands that babies poo themselves right?

And understand that toddlers put their hands in dirty nappies on occasion?

Has he grown up in a plastic bubble? What is the matter with him?

[quote StardewMelons]@roobicoobi Again, I wasn't comparing reasons behind using a potty. Imagine being a user of a commode scrolling through this thread where there is comment after comment saying "gross" to the action of using a potty. Do you not see how that might be a bit hurtful/insensitive? Yes I know a disabled person might have no choice in the matter and OP does have a choice, it was not at all what I was saying.[/quote]

But the reason is relevant. I think it's disgusting to piss in a potty and leave it on the landing when you are able to go downstairs. That has absolutely no connection with a disabled person using a commode. None. Why would someone who used a commode be hurt by me pointing out that OP is disgusting by choosing to do this? Maybe they feel the same? Maybe not?

@Whyhello

It’s just urine, hardly like you’re leaving a big dump in the hallway overnight plus you’re cleaning it up so not expecting him to. He’s being ridiculous, he will have to deal with lots of piss and shit over the next few years.

But from a baby or animal, it's different. It's involuntary. I'd no more want to have to sidestep a tub of piss left in the hallway by DP than I would want to have somebody pissing up my front wall on the way home from the pub.

@roobicoobi So what you are essentially saying is, a commode user is doing a discusting act, BUT they have no choice, OP is also doing a discusting act but DOES have a choice. Do you not see how a commode user might feel a bit offended about that. My original comment was basically to say people need to get a grip really, using a potty with a lid is hardly "gross", whatever the circumstance. If you still fail to see the point I am trying to make I don't know what to tell you.

So what you are essentially saying is, a commode user is doing a discusting act, BUT they have no choice, OP is also doing a discusting act but DOES have a choice.

No. I didn't say that. I'm not going to engage any further with someone who twists my posts to suit themselves.

And it's disgusting btw.

@roobicoobi Thats a tad hypocritical given the fact you twisted what I said into something entirely different, and carried on to do so for several responses, wether you agree with my personal opinion doesn't matter to me, thats different. Anyhow, I've said all I have to say on the matter, Good day.

I'm sure you don't love a potty either...but what can you do, you can't be trekking up & down all night...& as you said, it is starting to feel risky when you are so tired. He needs to just suck it up for now...it's not long left...

I cant help thinking that going downstairs shouldn't be that hard - you're pregnant not ill

@Member869894

I cant help thinking that going downstairs shouldn't be that hard - you're pregnant not ill

In the middle of the night, when the OP is sleepy. Unsafe, I'd call it. She's already said, she's tripped a few times.

I live in the Netherlands where a lot of houses only have a toilet downstairs. This is one of the things that the midwives will check for and they'll arrange the hire of a commode for anyone who doesn't have an upstairs toilet. The costs are covered by the health insurance. It's considered dangerous for a heavily pregnant woman to be trapsing up and down the stairs half-asleep.

@ancientgran

I never liked the pot under the bed even as a young child when the toilet was at the far end of a dark yard. I remember my gran saying how surprised she was when I got out of bed and insisted on having the back door open so I could go.

Could you move your bedroom downstairs for the last few weeks?

I don't get this... move the bedroom how? A heavily pregnant women move a bed that she shares into.. where? The living room thus requiring the sofa to be moved?

How do people just move their bedrooms? Or do you mean sleep on the couch? Ow. So much more fuss and disruption than just pissing in a commode for a few weeks. Not to mention having to move everything back with a newborn.

I'm sure of there was a downstairs bedroom shed already be in it. Idiot idea. It's just urine not a dead body.

Its not disgusting at all. I am however impressed you can crouch down like that when pregnant

@5zeds

With a lid is better (I’d missed that), but I still honestly would hate dh doing that so wouldn’t do it to him. It’s not unusual to expect people to pee in the bathroom, with the door shut, then flush and wash their hands.

My husband would be fuming if I flushed in the night. He's a light sleeper and it would mean I woke him up and then he wouldn't sleep. Do you really flush every time?

He's got several shocks coming to him I have an emergency travel toilet I recommend liners and cat litter Tie bag and bin in the morning

Have you tried a shwee bottle, you won’t have to crouch down so low with that These are a god send during festivals or camping.
. Your husband is being very uncaring and a bit unrealistic I think, there is nothing gross about peeing into a potty or small camping loo. Like someone has said, you will one day have potties all around the house during training.
It’s not as if you are weeing in the shower which I have heard a lot of men do!

If he thinks that’s disgusting he’ll have a shock when the baby’s here 😂

Not being funny but soon hes guna have a toddler peeing and pooing in a potty that he might have to clean out all the time...he needs to get a life and try being pregnant!

It is gross. But, it’s your choice.

I don't really understand this - is downstairs your only loo? Where is your bath? Could you sleep downstairs?

We've just got back from camping and used a portable potty with a lid in the corner of our tent as couldn't deal with walking to the toilet blocks in the dark every hour and that's without being pregnant - absolutely nothing disgusting about it. If I were in your shoes, I'd do the exact same thing, thankfully our loo is upstairs but if it were downstairs, I wouldn't be going up and down all night.