husband got back at half 5 this morning

[bubblegum02]

hello,

based on some of the threads on here, I'm assuming I'm going to get a lot of kill joy comments and the fact it's the euros too but I am annoyed.

my partner said he was going for a "couple" last night. I am 4 months pregnant and we have a one year old. I went to bed at about 10 and heard him come in. when I looked at the time, expecting it to be about half 11 as the pubs round here are still shutting earlier than usual it was half 5!

what has pissed me off about this is, one year old has woken up at 7, we went down about half 7 and of course, he is totally dead to the world. he has slept in our spare room downstairs which is something I suppose.

he was meant to be looking after the one year old for me whilst I go out for lunch today but he isnt responding to me at all. or the one year old.

he was out all day for the game last sunday too, was out pretty much the whole of the bank holiday and last Saturday too.

I'm getting fed up now, I'm not going to be able to leave the one year old with him, it is like he is unconscious and I'm meant to be going at 11.

not cool - pre kids, it wouldnt of been an issue but think he needs to grow up a bit. not against having a bit of fun but rocking in at that time when you are supposed to be looking after your child the next day is taking the piss.

has ruined my day too now and he will inevitably be feeling very sorry for himself.

Gah typos! But you get my meaning I hope.

Can’t believe comments on here. Of course you are not bu, dh has been selfish and ruined your plans! Bet you wouldn’t hear the end of it if it was the other way round. Hope he feels like shit all day and makes a massive effort to apologise

Your husband is extremely selfish. I hope any plans you had to make Father's Day special for him tomorrow are quietly scrapped. What a shit I hope you still managed to enjoy your lunch.

'Cool' wife = abject mug who self-absorbed, egotistical males see coming from 500 miles away.

Congratulations. The patriarchy's got you right by the curlies.

@youshouldbeplotting

No no *@BronwenFrideswide*, you don'y get it! Us women must all bow down to the great gods that are the male of the species men and their divine sport.

So, so sorry, what is my penance to be, how do I atone for forgetting this basic rule, mea culpa, bad, bad woman.

God the bowing down to the Almighty Penis!

Grim. Depressing that so many women have got such low standards and put up with such shitty behaviours from shitty men. Your sons will grow up to pull the same shitty stunts and your daughters will resign themselves to whole lifetimes of the same shit.

@bubblegum02 it’s really not going to get better. He’s not going to change - this is who he always was and this is who he’ll always be.

YADefinitelyNBU!

[quote Willwebebuyingnumber11]@HalzTangz but she can go out cus she said her mum would have the child? So what’s the issue[/quote]
Put the situation into reverse. OP agrees to look after 1yr old when DH goes out for lunch with friends. OP gets so wasted she’s unfit to care for DC. I think OP would be getting some stick on here for being an irresponsible mother.

Hope you’re having a nice time out op.. hey good job you’re mum is around to help out.

He’s an adult ? But he’s not an adult! He should be treated like one of your kids.

More fool you for putting up with him.

@Guavafish

Agree with others.. let him sleep until 10.30 then wake him up with coffee and water. Ask him to look after the baby as your going out for lunch!

I’m sure he will be ok by then

Ask him, make him a fucking coffee, let him sleep. Fucking hell. LOL @ 'cheery' Good Morning and bacon sandwich.

Your husband treats you like shit and snorts coke, OP. Sorry.

@MarieIVanArkleStinks

'Cool' wife = abject mug who self-absorbed, egotistical males see coming from 500 miles away.

Congratulations. The patriarchy's got you right by the curlies.

If I'm being accused of being a 'cool wife' Dh clearly missed the memo. I don't think I know anyone less egotistical or self absorbed than him.

Me thinks some people on here are just angry and bitter with everyone and anything. It's soooo tiresome.

How selfish of him . I hope you enjoy your lunch OP. He had a responsibility today to look after his child and he put himself first! It's a joke.

Op, I'd be livid. He's pissed off the last month at the weekends, done whatever he's wanted, left you to look after your child and how when you have something planned, he's come home in that state and ruined your day. Incredibly selfish and just not on.

I hope it went well with your mum looking after little one and you could enjoy your lunch. I honestly wouldn't drop it and id show how fucked off I was at him when I got home.

We have an 11 month old, I'm writing a master dissertation right now. Husband never goes out cause he's doing most of the child care. He went to see a friend two weekends ago to watch ice hockey, had about 3 beers and was back at 9:30pm so he wouldn't be hungover for the Sunday so I could study again. To me, that's normal when there's some sort of other arrangement the next day... it's just respectful.

Guavafish Agree with others.. let him sleep until 10.30 then wake him up with coffee and water. Ask him to look after the baby as your going out for lunch!

Grovel, grovel, grovel, I know you got in in the early hours of the morning very drunk and haven't had much sleep but pretty please dear husband can you wake up, here's a cup of coffee and some water and please, please can you look after the baby in your inebriated hungover state because I'm supposed to be going out for lunch oh great one. I'm so, so sorry I expected you to act like a decent father and husband and come home when you said you would and be in a fit state to look after our child so I could go out as arranged, I promise not to enjoy my lunch, to spend the entirety of it worrying about you and our child and to return very quickly to alleviate you of the burden of being a responsible, reasonable adult and considerate husband and father.

Yep, I think that should do it after all the OP is a mere woman who must bend over backwards and subjugate herself to the mighty man and his selfishness.

Anyone who thinks this type of behaviour is acceptable has very low standards.

Me thinks some people on here are just angry and bitter with everyone and anything. It's soooo tiresome.

No anger and bitterness here I married a respectful, considerate unselfish adult who sees marriage and parenthood as a partnership and behaves accordingly, as do I.

I feel really sorry for people defending the DH. Do you have such low standards for yourself, or just for other women?

OP can we please have an update.

Please tell me you came home and made lots of noise to hurt his hangover

No anger and bitterness here I married a respectful, considerate unselfish adult who sees marriage and parenthood as a partnership and behaves accordingly, as do I.

Same here.

I’d not go home and leave him with your daughter over night.
Can you stay at your mums.
He’s very selfish.
I’d be wondering where he was till 5am myself.
He needs to knuckle down and be a parent.

@cappuccinoandcats

I definitely wouldn't leave him with the kids in that state

And that of course is why/how selfish arseholes like this get away with it isn't it?

It's interesting that pp on this thread are very keen not to be judged because 'we know nothing about them' yet are quite happy to pass judgement on how bitter they think others must be. Interesting double standards afoot.

@whydidimarryhim
“I’d not go home and leave him with your daughter over night.”

What sort of twisted, cruel thinking is that from a mum. Using your baby to punish your partner without a care for the child’s feelings.
I’m astounded at some of these comments.

"Guavafish Agree with others.. let him sleep until 10.30 then wake him up with coffee and water. Ask him to look after the baby as your going out for lunch!"

Why not throw in a BJ just for good measure, you know, to show how really grateful you are for this huge favour that he's doing.

Or what those of us not married to a twat call looking after your own kid for a few hours.

The daughter may be happy to spend quality time with daddy and mummy gets a rest, 'cruel' is a bit of a stretch

He sounds like a selfish twat! If it makes you feel better I'm 36 weeks pregnant and spent the night in hospital this week. I've now asked my partner not to drink anything over the limit as it was quite scary. Now apparently he can't go to his friends tonight for the last time!

Ducking losers need to get a grip