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AIBU?

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Original poster

17 year old SD not bought anything for FD. Asking me 2 days before!

171 replies

Frankola · 18/06/2021 14:19

My 17 year old SD has just text me to ask me to buy something for her to give her Dad on Fathers Day.

1 - she's 17
2 - she gets £40 a month pocket money from us and an undisclosed amount from her mother
3 - she has a job working 4 shifts a week at a fast food chain, equalling about 20 hours a week
4 - it's 2 days before Fathers Day!

AIBU to tell her to fuck off?!

OP posts:
MiddleParking · 18/06/2021 14:20

Obviously YWBU to tell her to fuck off, but you wouldn’t be to say no.

AnneLovesGilbert · 18/06/2021 14:21

Obvs don’t tell her to fuck off but I’d say something like “there’s two days to go so you can sort something yourself. He’s your dad, not mine”.

Is this slap dash about Mother’s Day?

Viviennemary · 18/06/2021 14:22

Just say you're busy and she needs to buy it herself. Or don't reply.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 18/06/2021 14:23

Well obviously not fuck off, but you could say no! He’s not your father after all.

Xiaoxiong · 18/06/2021 14:24

I would purposefully misread it as asking for suggestions of what to get him for FD. "Oh I'm sure he'd love a card from you with a nice note, and he has been eyeing up this new book at Waterstones, that would be my suggestion for you to get him"!

It's not unhelpful, but sends the message clearly that you're not doing the legwork for her.

AnUnoriginalUsername · 18/06/2021 14:25

Tell her her dad would rather she get him something herself, she's got plenty of time, she can order something on amazon prime still.

AutoGroup · 18/06/2021 14:52

Of course she should do it herself, but a helpful friendly response would be much better than what you propose Grin

frazzledasarock · 18/06/2021 14:55

Respond at 11pm tomorrow oh god I didn’t see your message. Hope you sorted it xx

DinosaurDiana · 18/06/2021 14:55

No, she’s old enough to sort it out. She just doesn’t want to use her own or her mother’s money.

pilates · 18/06/2021 14:55

I think my response would be you are old enough and earning enough to be able to buy your dad a present yourself. CF (but don’t add that bit) 😄

Soubriquet · 18/06/2021 14:56

@DinosaurDiana

No, she’s old enough to sort it out. She just doesn’t want to use her own or her mother’s money.
Yup!
Wrotten · 18/06/2021 14:57

Why does she get pocket money when she's earning?

AnneLovesGilbert · 18/06/2021 15:03

Don’t waste time making suggestions or saying you’re busy. Just say no.

Notaroadrunner · 18/06/2021 15:05

It a chance I'd go out and buy something for her to give. Text her back and tell her she's old enough to sort her own gift.

Notaroadrunner · 18/06/2021 15:06

'Not' a chance

Crankley · 18/06/2021 15:09

No chance

AryaStarkWolf · 18/06/2021 15:11

Not a chance SD or D, they'd be told that by me!

Hax · 18/06/2021 15:12

Well you obviously don't want to help her out. I would.
MN at it's finest here. A 17 year old who is also a step child.

funinthesun19 · 18/06/2021 15:14

God how annoying! Just tell her she really should be sorting it out herself now.

“You really need to be sorting these things out yourself now. You’ve got all tomorrow to sort it. Your dad won’t want anything extravagant, so just a thoughtful card will do if you don’t have the money.”

Soubriquet · 18/06/2021 15:15

@Hax

Well you obviously don't want to help her out. I would. MN at it's finest here. A 17 year old who is also a step child.
A 17 year old who has their own money, is able to get to the shops and can do it all herself.

Sure baby her why not

Now if she was 7, I would get it

RedMarauder · 18/06/2021 15:15

@frazzledasarock

Respond at 11pm tomorrow oh god I didn’t see your message. Hope you sorted it xx
This.
Godmothered · 18/06/2021 15:17

@Hax

Well you obviously don't want to help her out. I would. MN at it's finest here. A 17 year old who is also a step child.
😂 send your step daughter over to this bleeding heart @Frankola
RedMarauder · 18/06/2021 15:17

@Hax

Well you obviously don't want to help her out. I would. MN at it's finest here. A 17 year old who is also a step child.
It's nothing to do with her being a step-child it is to do with her being a lazy shit.

If I tried that on my step-mother if I was 15+ my own mother would give me shit.

Cocomarine · 18/06/2021 15:21

Genuinely hadn’t realised, was working long shifts today and tomorrow, wanted something specific locally, asked me politely and was generally an all round good egg?
I’d bend over backwards to help, but also take the piss in friendly way.

Anything else? Well, I wouldn’t say, “fuck off” exactly, but I would certainly say, “you’re having a bloody laugh, lazy bones!”

chesirecat99 · 18/06/2021 15:23

Really? You wouldn't help out a 17 year old? I wouldn't be that impressed if I were your DP. I can understand not doing everything for them or paying for it but there is no need to flat out refuse to help. It sounds like you don't like her very much.

If it were my DC, my response would be:

  1. Put a recurring reminder on your phone. Father's Day is the 3rd Sunday in June so set a reminder on June 14.
  1. Send them to Moonpig or somewhere to send an e-card, if they can't buy one and drop it off.
  1. Suggest some things he would like they could buy on Amazon or anywhere that offers next day delivery or something that they could buy locally and bring in person.

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