To not let my son go camping on his prom night

[longcoffeebreak]

Just that really. He is 16 and wants to camp after his prom with friends in a friend's parent's field.

I think the idea stinks and that they will be drinking and totally unsupervised.

He thinks I am too strict and everyone else is allowed to go ..

I’ve though all proms were cancelled after Monday’s announcement.

Sorry, meant “thought”

I'd let him go. He's 16 and freedom is important.

Yes, they will drink.

If he went to an after party, chances are, they would drink

How close is the field to the friends house?
In that situation, I would see if a parent would offer to camp near-ish, only to be called upon in an emergency.

When I finished school ( a zillion years ago), we had an after party in a rural location. Adults were ' there' but at a very respectable distance.
They cooked us breakfast in the morning, so it was great.

After the absolute shit year they have had, are you really going to take this away?

I bet most kids who are ‘allowed’ to go haven’t been upfront with their folks about it, they have most likely said it’s a sleepover, for which you’d be more inclined to say yes to as you’d expect an element of parental supervision.

My DS (and DD's) did this and came to no harm. The friends parents are not far away in an emergency. I did get a call to collect them at 7.30am rather than the 10am previously arranged as the novelty of camping wore off. Remember, he will be off to university in two years.

@greenlynx

I’ve though all proms were cancelled after Monday’s announcement.

We are in Jersey

I suppose it depends on the teenager.

Yes, I would certainly expect there'll be alcohol there but how sensible is he with it?

Does he know the danger of sleeping on his back for example if he's drunk?

Ultimately, do you think he would handle alcohol totally differently in 2 years time when it's legal?

I have 3 (now adult) sons. The eldest would definitely have got drunk but been sensible-ish with it. Middle DS didn't (and still doesn't) like alcohol and youngest DS (18 years) would probably drink a bit too much but is also sensible with it.

I think that's what you have to consider.

He’s 16? I don’t know that you can stop him? I definitely don’t think you should stop him!

Oh wow I wasn't expecting the consensus to be IABU

Let him go, but make sure he knows to have a charged phone, and be prepared to pick him up in the early hours

@WhenZoomWasJustAnIceLolly

He’s 16? I don’t know that you can stop him? I definitely don’t think you should stop him!

Well of course she can stop him because he's 16 and she's his parent.

Whether or not she should, is up for debate.

I'm inclined to think she shouldn't, unless there's a history that indicates otherwise.

I would let him have this one given the last couple of years.

He has got very drunk a couple of times and been sick on his bedroom floor once and completely disoriented another time so I don't think he is very sensible- that is the issue. I am scared he will get really drunk. I don't drink and hate drinking as my mum was alcoholic.

I could stop him though - he wouldn't go if I flat out said no.

@longcoffeebreak

He has got very drunk a couple of times and been sick on his bedroom floor once and completely disoriented another time so I don't think he is very sensible- that is the issue. I am scared he will get really drunk. I don't drink and hate drinking as my mum was alcoholic.

Do you think he learned from it?

I was 14 the first time I got drunk and I was sick as a dog. I swore never again but I did it one more time (by 'accident' - emptyish stomach) and learned my limits pretty quickly after that.

YABU

I'd let him go, tbh I'd be thankful he's asked you honestly and openly; says a lot about your relationship I used to lie to my mum all the time about where I was stopping so that we could camp out and get pissed 😂

It would be a firm no from me.

@lotstolose1

I'd let him go, tbh I'd be thankful he's asked you honestly and openly; says a lot about your relationship I used to lie to my mum all the time about where I was stopping so that we could camp out and get pissed 😂

Yeah me too we had campfires and people fell in it and all sorts

I'd let him go, we did this regularly as teenagers and it was great fun.
Try to get him to eat something before he goes and take water with him.

We went to Glastonbury festival at that age for 4 days. I didn't think my parents were even particularly relaxed compared to some. I definitely think you should let him, you cant wrap him up in cotton wool for ever.

WorraLiberty
Dd did it twice, once at 15, once at 17, so nothing worrying as in a regular thing.
Both times she was fine, albeit feeling rough the next day and had the beer fear which I laughed at
At 19 she has the occasional drink, but not a big thing for her.

At 16 and after the last year or so - yes, absolutely no question I would 'allow' it.

Teens need to be teens!

At 16 I had left school, was working and living away from home. If your DS is reasonably sensible, and his friends also, then let him have some freedom. As long as they are not too far from adults they should be fine.