To not let my son go camping on his prom night

[longcoffeebreak]

Just that really. He is 16 and wants to camp after his prom with friends in a friend's parent's field.

I think the idea stinks and that they will be drinking and totally unsupervised.

He thinks I am too strict and everyone else is allowed to go ..

Well done OP.

Good that you have spoken with the Mum and that they will be checked on.

You probably won't rest much - these occasions are a rite of passage for parents of teens as well as the teens!

You should let him go. He's 16, why not? You've got to give him freedom or he will just do things behind your back. Yes he will probably have a drink, get drunk, might be sick and will feel shit in the morning. But so what? IMO it's better to learn his limits in a relatively safe environment with friends and adults near by, that when he's 18 and could end up anywhere with anyone.

Sorry OP, just saw your update, good for you

Good update OP.

I'm 46 and this was not a thing when I was 16. We had the end of year party and then we went home. I wouldn't allow my 16 year old to camp after prom. I'd expect them to come home, most likely by being fetched by me.

Rite of passage. Let him go.

Well done OP! Hope he has a good time and you don't spend the whole evening worrying

Aw hope he has a great time. I'm sure you'll not sleep a wink. But try to look forward to the tales he'll tell tomorrow

Good for you

You won’t sleep well. Done of us did. As someone upthread said it’s a rite of passage for parents too!
Hope he has a lovely time and you get a bit of rest.

Aww well done OP. I hope he gas a great time.

I'd let him go and have fun. That's what young people do.

Of course you should let him go.
All your posts, there is literally not one reason not to let him.

@longcoffeebreak

Thanks everyone for your input. It has been really helpful.

He is on his way there now. I took a bag to the hotel with casual clothes and some drinks and snacks and put it in the cloakroom for him when he leaves the prom.

I also spoke to the mum. She works with young people and the field is near their house and she will check on them. She has my number.

I have said he needs to text me to let me know he is ok - and have said all the stuff about being sensible - including phone me if it goes wrong!

And to Have a Nice Time 😀

Well done OP. I hope over the next few days you get to hear some of the fun they had and you will have strengthened your bond with him.

I would let him go, providing there are adults somewhere relatively close by to deal with any issues that arise. Teenagers drink and there isn't a whole lot that can be done about it, he is better being sick on your bathroom floor now and learning his limits than turning 18 in a couple of years time and getting horrifically drunk, because he has zero clue what his limits were.

I am in my 30s now and looking at my friends, the ones who grew up with parents who had a more relaxed attitude toward drinking have a far healthier relationship with alcohol, than those who didn't.

just read OPs update - great move, he will be chuffed and will massively respect you for this.

Glad you let him go OP. I had a mum who never let me do all the stuff my friends were allowed to do and eventually I just started lying to her. I think in your teenage years it's really important to have these times with friends and the memories of them. Yes, they'll probably get messy and won't be 'sensible', but that's all part of being young. Most of us did it, lived to tell the tale and are all sensible adults now.

It’s hard, but it’s time to cut the apron strings. He’ll never get to earn your trust if you don’t give him opportunity to earn it.
Let him go but with certain rules such as,
‘If anyone gets drunk to the point they are sick or unresponsive you must alert an adult immediately’ and ‘be sure you phone is fully charged so you can call me in an emergency’
I know kids you’ve moved out of home at 16 and made a splendid job of it
Good luck and prepare yourself not to sleep too much the first time, that gets easier with practice

At the end of the day, he's a child, your his parent it's down to you to make the judgement about whether you're comfortable with him going and whether you feel it's responsible to let him go. Make this judgement based on what you know about him and the friends that are going.

When I was that age, my mum would have let me go, I was responsible and level headed. My friends always called me the 'Designated Sober Person' (we didn't drive yet, haha). The most hassle I got was a lecture from her then partner about date rape. (My dad had covered that with me years before and he handled it a lot better).

My older brother wasn't allowed to do that sort of thing because, while he generally wasn't irresponsible, he was easily led. My younger sister was the irresponsible and rebellious one, wouldn't be trusted.

Every teenager is different. You know your DS. You make an informed decision and stick to it. If you let him go set some ground rules if you think he needs them.
If you don't, he might throw a fit, but he'll get over it.

You're the parent, he's your child. So be the parent.

My son is 16, him and a few of his friends didn’t want to go the prom so they all stayed here, I did get some alcohol for them which some didn’t agree with but at 16 they all could have just gone out and done it anyway. I would let him but speak to the parents.

How did he get on?

Am going through this with oldest son who is 16. We somehow have let him go to Reading Festival in the summer. Part of me thinks it is better to give him freedom before he leaves home so we are around to pick up the pieces if we need to. Better than going crazy for first time at uni when we are hundreds of miles away and oblivious. Difficult situation and am kind of hoping Reading is cancelled as I am do worried about it!!

YABU. He should go and be able to enjoy himself.

My 16yr old DS and three friends went camping in a fourth friend's garden last week. We have a good communicative relationship so I talked with him trust him to make good choices.