To want us not to wear shoes in the house?

[NCShoes]

As soon as I walk through the door, I take my shoes off and put slippers on. My partner on the other hand will wear shoes throughout the whole house, and doesn't really take them off until going to bed.

It drives me mad but if I mention anything it can turn into an argument and it's just me 'moaning'. But I hate the thought of walking around outside then walking through the house, on the carpet etc.

The carpet is only a couple of years old and is already looking a bit crap so we're going to get it cleaned but then I think 'what's the point when you're still going to be wearing shoes all around the house?'
Am I being a bit moany?

@Blossomtoes

Can I ask what all of you who think shoes indoors is “grim” what you do if you visit someone (me) who specifically asks you to keep them on?

That’s the point though. It’s host’s rules. Due to religious and social reasons both sides of my family (Romany and Indian) do this. The Romany side is a lot stricter & people who can’t or won’t take their shoes off don’t get to go into the house / caravan - all business just occurs outdoors or at their home. The Indian side is more easy going even though the rule is religious on that side but does rely on women doing deep cleans of the entire downstairs to get the house back in order.

@LemonRoses

I’m curious now. What happens if you have a garden supper or drinks outside? Do people spend their evening putting shoes on and off to walk through to the lavatory? Do people sit on the doormat to put shoes back on with the plates they are helping carry in beside them?

How do you bring shopping indoors from the car? Is it a very funny stop at door, shoes off, go through to larder or fridge, unpack that bag, back to door to put shoes on and out to collect next two bags to repeat the whole process?

What about supper parties? Do people have to dress up in their Sunday best and then remove their shoes, so they feel awkward and short? Do people at drinks parties have to make polite conversation in their socks? There is a Country Life cartoon in there.

What about when an elderly neighbour ‘pops in’? It might take them half an hour to get their shoes off.

Would you make someone change from their wheelchair at the front door because the wheels had touched the pavement?

Don’t your entrance halls look awful cluttered with piles of shoes or those ghastly little racks? Do you spend hours pairing up shoes on racks to look tidy? How many shoes/trainers/wellies/slippers do you have in your entrance hall? Do you keep duplicate pairs in the rear hall too? What happens if the pair you want are in the wrong place (at front when you are going out the back door) or you return to front but left your slippers at the back?

Our back door is next to the bathroom so guests keep their shoes on for that. We have garden clogs we keep by the back door.

I don’t go to the supermarket by car. If I don’t get a delivery I walk, in which case I put my bags down by the door, take off shoes, wash hands and then unpack the bags

Yes, people who come for parties take off their shoes at the door, almost always without prompting. Not that we insist on formalwear though.

We don’t know our neighbours enough for them to pop in and none of them are elderly.

My house is not wheelchair accessible - weird layout which steps up and down between rooms. And I don’t know any wheelchair users anyway.

No, we have this in the hall so the shoes are all out of sight, all our shoes are in there except two pairs of garden clogs at the back door and DP’s formal shoes which are in a box in his wardrobe. The hall therefore contains all 6 pairs of shoes I own other than the clogs (including wellies and trainers). Are your shoes cluttering up your bedroom then?

*I guess it just depends where you live and the type of shit you trek through. I live in a country area and even if you can dodge the fresh turds it’s quite easy to accidentally step into a dried bit of cow / sheep / fox shit. It wouldn’t really smell but it would definitely pass on bacteria.

To combat this most people have indoor and outdoor shoes (even if it’s just two of the same pairs). I don’t know anyone local who is stupid enough to wear their outdoor shoes into the house.*

It’s funny isn’t it. I live very rurally in a national park betwixt farms and Forestry Commission/NT . I can’t think of anyone who would expect shoes to be removed at the front door and lined up tidily on a little rack. Surely walking the dog you wear boots that are removed but generally wear shoes that aren’t worn on farmland footpaths?

The ‘stupid enough’ is pretty rude and clearly not true. What is your evidence base for suggesting huge numbers of bacterial infections are contracted as a result of wearing shoes? I think that’s pretty far-fetched and more stupid, to be honest.

I don’t know anyone at all with indoor shoes, except children at some prep schools. Some people wear slippers for comfort sometimes, but you’d not greet people in them, would you? Unless you were Mrs Brown, perhaps. The idea of everyone arriving with a delightful pair of velour kitten heeled mules is very funny.

Do people need to go to Spec Savers? Who regularly has animal faeces through their houses? I can’t recall it happening in twenty five years. Your children’s pocket money is far higher risk.

@LemonRoses

*I guess it just depends where you live and the type of shit you trek through. I live in a country area and even if you can dodge the fresh turds it’s quite easy to accidentally step into a dried bit of cow / sheep / fox shit. It wouldn’t really smell but it would definitely pass on bacteria.

To combat this most people have indoor and outdoor shoes (even if it’s just two of the same pairs). I don’t know anyone local who is stupid enough to wear their outdoor shoes into the house.*

It’s funny isn’t it. I live very rurally in a national park betwixt farms and Forestry Commission/NT . I can’t think of anyone who would expect shoes to be removed at the front door and lined up tidily on a little rack. Surely walking the dog you wear boots that are removed but generally wear shoes that aren’t worn on farmland footpaths?

The ‘stupid enough’ is pretty rude and clearly not true. What is your evidence base for suggesting huge numbers of bacterial infections are contracted as a result of wearing shoes? I think that’s pretty far-fetched and more stupid, to be honest.

I don’t know anyone at all with indoor shoes, except children at some prep schools. Some people wear slippers for comfort sometimes, but you’d not greet people in them, would you? Unless you were Mrs Brown, perhaps. The idea of everyone arriving with a delightful pair of velour kitten heeled mules is very funny.

Do people need to go to Spec Savers? Who regularly has animal faeces through their houses? I can’t recall it happening in twenty five years. Your children’s pocket money is far higher risk.

The people who do this are stupid. I live very rurally too, lots of farmers or people who grow for profit from allotments. They all have seperate indoor / outdoor shoes. Maybe it’s an income thing - this is a pretty well heeled area & I guess producing food for public consumption makes them more aware of the health risks than your average Joe.

Well heeled - love what you did there @Ozanj. 🤣

@Blossomtoes

Well heeled - love what you did there *@Ozanj*. 🤣

I think it's a matter of hygiene too. You don't know what you've stepped in outside.
Also carpets are expensive!

Even if not for hygiene surely you can see that wearing outdoor shoes inside makes your carpets more visible grubby (not talking about germs) and need cleaning more

We've always taken shoes off even though the entire downstairs is hard flooring. I don't want to traipse something in unknowingly on the floor my kids play on.
Thats my choice.

Then our shoes are put in the understairs cupboard.

Is he controlling? You sound very rary of saying anything to him about this.
Yanbu shoes on in the house is vile. You wouldn't walk around outside in bare feet or seat and play on the pavement so why would you walk all that dirt into your house? I genuinely don't think I've ever been into anyone's house where shoes are left on inside all the time.

I genuinely don't think I've ever been into anyone's house where shoes are left on inside all the time

Pop round here. I’ll get the kettle on.

When you get out of bed in the night are you barefoot? What about when you've just showered and come out of the bathroom? Your bare feet will be getting dirty?! Or do you put shoes on straight away?

What about when you're just in the house and you haven't been anywhere yet?

@Blossomtoes

I genuinely don't think I've ever been into anyone's house where shoes are left on inside all the time

Pop round here. I’ll get the kettle on.

Cheers, milk and sugar lovely

Bare feet dirty and then getting back into bed. Yuck!

YANBU. I’ve always taken my shoes off in the house, it’s good manners and how I was raised. We have wooden flooring throughout the house and only have carpet on the stairs but I still insist on everyone removing their shoes because it’s disgusting not to. My DH often ‘forgets’ and waltzes through with his work boots on which is honestly horrible and I tell him off every time.

YANBU. I'd go mental if my partner wore shoes in the house. All shoes come off at the door. It's absolutely scruffy wearing outdoor shoes on indoor carpets. I always politely ask guests to remove their shoes too (unless its my GPIL since they have mobility issues but I try to make sure we visit them at their place instead).

I prefer not to wear shoes in the house, but due to my flat feet and a lot of foot pain, I now have to wear trainers at all times instead of walking around in socks/nonsupportive slippers. I am pretty good about sticking to indoor trainers/outdoor trainers but even I can't be arsed unlacing and relacing sometimes.

Probably none of that is relevant to your situation, sorry ...

I remember the old days when people would wipe their feet on this thing called a door mat

I don't wear shoes in the house myself at home or on a longer visit but I probably would on a short visit unless expressly asked not to or if I had walked in dog shit or something.

Even in the days of door mats people would remove shitty or muddy shoes though

Unless this was the case, I dont care what visitors do with their shoes.

I still have a door mat.

Not moany at all.
I like the idea of thick socks or moccasins or inside shoes like pp mentioned.
Inside shoes oh yuck

You are so not being unreasonable! On hard floors it isn't such an issue and I am guilty of it when in and out to the bin etc but on carpet its really unhygienic. Can't see how it would start an argument when he's clearly being unreasonable! Isn't like he will get cold feet.. its' hot!

My DH hates slippers, but will wear crocs inside instead, he doesn't go outside in them, because they are crocs 😜

We don’t wear our shoes inside. Slippers, socks, (bare feet in summer) or indoor shoes.
There rack and seat at the front door and a seat, boot bin, shoe tree thing to help get boots off at the back door.

In some Asian and Polynesian cultures it’s rude and disrespectful to wear shoes inside so it’s what I grew up with.

@Blossomtoes

I genuinely don't think I've ever been into anyone's house where shoes are left on inside all the time

Pop round here. I’ll get the kettle on.

Or here. Although we do sometimes kick them off and walk barefoot to cool hot feet on the slate times. We don’t keep them on all the time, but neither do we consciously remove them and put them in funny little racks by the front door.

I live very rurally too, lots of farmers or people who grow for profit from allotments. They all have seperate indoor / outdoor shoes. Maybe it’s an income thing - this is a pretty well heeled area & I guess producing food for public consumption makes them more aware of the health risks than your average Joe.

Allotments if you live rurally? How odd. Don’t people have gardens? The farmers here wear shoes. I don’t think it’s income as average house price in our postcode is £1,113,995. Nobody wears ‘indoor shoes’. I accept some people have a heritage where this would be the norm, but generally it would feel very odd.

What happens when children have been playing barefoot in the garden or swimming? Do they have to take their feet off to enter the house?

What exactly are the supposed health risks? Anyone who lives rurally will know full well that are food is grown in ‘organic waste’. Muck spreading is of huge importance in food production.

I don’t think there has been a case of soiled carpet related death yet. It’s hands that spread the most bugs, not feet or shoes. I’m still incredulous at the number of people who spend their lives walking in dogs faeces frequently.

We have two dogs, two children and live in the country. Flagstone floors everywhere downstairs except the sitting room. Neither of us came from shoes off houses thank goodness. I do get a bit twitchy when DH walks upstairs into bedroom to read a DC story after being on tube and train and he lies on the bed with his shoes on, but that's my only problem.

We keep shoes wherever we take them off.

Oddly both DC take shoes off when they get home, though don't wear slippers.

I hate slippers, cant do the housework in them so I just make sure my shoes don't have chicken poo on them before I come inside.